I went to a party with my friend Melissa. When we arrived at the party, it was pretty much dead. We got there at 10, so we were expecting people to show up within an hour. This gave us time to catch-up.
“I still keep getting messages from Amanda,” I said.
“And you guys stopped dating three months ago?” she asked.
“Yeah, and she broke up with me. Apparently, she wants to get back with me.”
“And you don’t want that?”
“No way. Not after the way it ended. Plus, she has too much drama. It’s just annoying. Also, her laughs. She needs an inhaler when she laughs. I can’t be funny.”
“You’re not funny.”
“Well, sometimes I say something that is funny…” I said. “Oh, hey, before I forget, I got a new phone number.”
“What’s the number?”
“I don’t know. I’ll call you.”
I called her. At this time, people started showing up. Melissa went to go talk to guys, and I decided to talk to girls.
“Hey, so we’re at a party,” I said.
“Yeah, looks like we are,” one of the girls said.
“What’s in the red cup?” I asked.
“Beer from that keg,” she said.
“You’ll never see juice in a keg. It’s always in a box. I want to do a keg stand to minute maid. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
At this point, we just kind of looked at each other and parted ways. I never have productive things to say. Conversation wise, I’m best suited to find a girl who watches VH1.
I met back up with Melissa.
"I completely bombed," I said.
"Bad jokes?" she asked.
"I gotta start writing jokes beforehand. I can't make anything up on the fly.”
"Do you think that would make a difference?"
"Probably not. How about yourself? I saw you talking to a guy over there.”
"Yeah, Brad. He's okay. He gave me his business card and told me to call him for a date.”
"Are you going to call him?"
"No, he should make the first move. It's tacky.”
"Let me see the card.”
Melissa hands me the card.
"Okay, while you're looking at that, I'm going to talk to my friend," she said.
The card was plain white with the phone number in black. Under the number, it read “call me, baby.” I stuck the business card in my pocket and went for a walk around the party.
While I was walking, I overheard two girls talking about The Surreal Life. That caught my attention, so I decided to join in.
“Hey, sorry I couldn’t resist, but I love that show,” I said.
“I can’t believe C.C. botched that Go Fish game,” she said.
“No kidding. I’m Ryan, by the way.”
“”Hi, I’m Ariel.”
“Who do you think is the most famous? I think it's Vanilla Ice.”
“It has to be Ron Jeremy. I mean, Sublime referenced him in a song,” she said. “But I really have to get going. I have work in the morning.”
“Well, I’d love to hang out with you. Perhaps we could watch The White Rapper Show together some time.”
She gave me her number, so I called her so she could have mine.
“So you don’t have a business card?” she asked as she showed me a card Brad gave her.
“So that guy gave you a business card?” I asked.
“Yeah, what a tool.”
“I know. He gave my friend a business card. I guess he’s hoping someone will call or text him.”
We gave each other a hug, and Ariel left. I met back up with Melissa. I told her all about Ariel, and she told me about a cool guy named David. Our night was going well. That was until I saw Amanda walking in. She saw me and walked toward me. Fortunately, Melissa was next to me. That is until she decided to go talk to David some more. I was alone.
“Hey Ryan, I’ve been thinking about you. What’s up?” Amanda asked.
“Oh, nothing much. Just drinking fruit juice,” I said.
“That’s funny. I tried calling you yesterday, but it said that the number was no longer in service. Did you get a new phone?”
“Yeah, it’s the new chocolate. It’s pretty cool.”
“What’s your new phone number? We should hang out soon.”
“Ummm,” I hesitated.
I reached into my pocked, pulled out Brad’s business card, and I gave it to her.