I haven't written a creative story since the spring of 2008 when I was still at ASU. I've been wanting to write a story about a first kiss because I thought it could be funny. When I was searching through my computer, I still have a folder saved for my old Web site that I had with about 20 other writes from back in 2007. I browsed through some of the stories, and well, I already wrote about this topic. Below is the story. A couple things to note: the original version was kinda skeleton-y, so I added some content. This has not been through any editing, so we're looking at rough draft material. But the message and humor is there. When someone kidnaps me and takes me to Flagstaff and I enroll in NAU's creative writing Master's program, I'll use this as part of a bigger piece that I will want to write chronicling awkward experiences.
Before I post the story, I should say that this is one of the rare completely creative stories that has no influence on me or anyone I know. My real first kiss resembled mouth-to-mouth resuscitation (I played the role of drowning swimmer) with the girl's dad catching us. I strangely miss those days. Anyway, on to the story!
I was totally unprepared for the voicemail greeting when I called that girl so I just hung up. Fortunately, she had caller ID, and she called me back. We had a good conversation, and we planned for a date that night to meet up at an outdoor mall.
Everything was moving so fast for me. I just got through the telephone call, and now I have to go on a date. Couldn’t I get a week to take a breath? I knew I needed some advice on dates, so I went over to my friend’s house for some consultation.
We sat at the kitchen table and went over everything. We discussed compliments, holding hands and the kiss. I wasn’t sure about the kiss. Obviously this being my first date meant that this would be my first kiss.
“How do I kiss?” I asked, slightly embarrassed by the unusual question.
“You look her in the eyes, you keep your mouth open a little, and you aim for her upper or lower lip,” he said.
“That’s it?” I asked.
“Yeah, and use your hands to make sure her face is positioned at the right angle,” he said.
“I have to use my hands?”
“Yeah, and you can also use your hands to maybe tug her hair or something.”
“Wow, I didn’t even know girls liked that.”
“Some girls do but don’t forget to use your tongue.”
“This is way too much for me to handle.”
“Then just go for a small open mouth kiss on her lips.”
“I think I can handle that.”
“And hey, if the date is going bad, excuse yourself and give me a call and I will call you back to save you.”
I left my friend’s house feeling really confident. I met my date at the mall. We decided to get some dinner first at this Italian restaurant--Fazoli’s.
“These breadsticks are amazing, right?” I asked.
“Yeah, I mean, they are buttery or something,” she said.
God this was awkward. I was thinking really hard for conversation topics, but she was no help. Hmm, legoes.
“You know, I always wanted to make a giant lego fort. Not to like live in, but to have in the backyard. Just kind of chill,” I said.
“Would you have a bed or kitchen?” she asked.
“No, but I think I would have a desk. It could be my area where I would do a lot of writing: journal writing and maybe greeting card writing.”
“People still write greeting cards?” she asked.
“Oh, of course. Who doesn’t like getting something in a carnation colored envelope? Man, so you gotta check this out. I wrote a birthday card to a female friend in felt-tip pen last week. The ink ran so much that the wrong message was written.”
“That’s funny. I need to go use the bathroom”
Why do people say that’s funny when they don’t laugh? Anyway, I used this opportunity to call my friend for some last minute advice.
“Hey, I think the date is going well,” I said.
“Great! Now take her to that fireplace area and give her a kiss,” he said.
“I think I might tug her hair.”
I hung up the phone, and she returned a couple minutes later. I took her on a walk to the fireplace area. I was thinking about all the advice my friend gave me. Suddenly, we were standing in front of the fireplace looking at each other.
I looked into her eyes, and all my worries went away. I felt confident, like I’ve been there before. I leaned in. This was going to be magical. I parted my lips a little. This was going to be my first kiss! And her cell phone rang.