It's not fair! To deny me!

Whatever your opinion on Alanis Morissette, she does write some powerful lyrics.

Of course You Outta Know has a whole new meaning if you believe in the rumor that it is Uncle Joey from Full House.



The video to this song features Taylor Hawkins, the Foo Fighters current drummer. He was a drummer for Alanis Morissette at the time.

Should Joe Maddon win manager of the year?

The Tampa Bay Rays have a 36-25 record and are currently second in the AL east. Should they continue this pace, should Joe Maddon win manager of the year?

Baseball Prospectus at the beginning of the year had them projected at 90 wins.

Based on statistical analysis, they were projected to have a very good season. Of course, if you just take a look at the team, they are loaded with young talent. Not only that, but a lot of the talent has had a couple years in the majors to develop further.

Their starting pitching is solid. Their line-up is okay. However, if you look at the top three hitters based on VORP (value over replacement player), their second best player is Eric Hinske. I do expect Carlos Pena, when healthy, will elevate his performance.

Joe Maddon deserves consideration if the Devil Rays make the playoffs. However, if the Chicago White Sox make the playoffs, then Ozzie Guillen deserves the AL manager of the year. Even despite his tirade saying that changes need to be made.

Should speed guys lead off?

I saw the Yankees and Twins game on ESPN. I'm curious to see if manager Ron Gardenhire uses his players effectively. The twins are three games above .500 and in second place in the AL Central. Three of those teams are below .500, and the leading Chicago White Sox are only 1.5 games in front. It is conceivable that the Twins could be in first place.

The lineup for Sunday night's game:

1. Carlos Gomez
2. Alexi Casilla
3. Joe Mauer
4. Justin Moreneau
5. Michael Cuddyer
6. Craig Monroe
7. Delmon Young
8. Brendan Harris
9. Matt Macri

The lineup order is only important for the first inning because after the first inning, the order becomes all crazy. But it is important to have the best hitters in the top 4 because they will see more at bats.

The best OPS hitters should hit 3 and 4. The best at 3 and second best at 4. After that, the highest OBP hitters should hit 1 and 2. Then your fifth and sixth best hitters should bat there and then 7-9 it doesn't matter much.

The common thought, it seems, is to have the speed guys bat first so if they get on base, they can steal a base or put pressure on the defense because of their speed. That's great. As long as they can get on base.

Carlos Gomez is a speed guy. Incredibly fast. Lets see if this is an effective lineup:

Carlos Gomez gets on base 30.8% of the time. That is really bad for a leadoff hitter. And even when he gets on, his steal success rate is 71% (17 steals out of 23 chances). So even his incredible speed doesn't translate great in the stolen base department. Joe Sheehan for Baseball Prospectus wrote: "If you're stealing at less than a 75% success rate, you're better off never going at all." But still, he makes an out 69.2% of the time, and when he gets on base, he makes an out 29% of the time when trying to steal.

The batting lineup should be:

1. Alexi Casilla
He gets on base 38.7% of the time. He also has a .864 ops. Limited games, only 19, but he's been effective in those games.
2. Joe Mauer
He's actually the second best OPS guy on the team of regulars, so he should bat fourth. However, his high OPS is largely in part to his .413 on base percentage.
3. Justin Moreneau
He's the highest OPS guy on the team with a .886 ops.
4. Craig Monroe
He's the third highest OPS regular guy on the team. His on base percentage is a horrible .294 on base percentage. Though he slugs at a .455 rate.
5. Carlos Gomez OPS+ 97 SLG .401
6. Delmon Young OPS+86
7. Michael Cuddyer OPS+ 85
8. Brendan Harris OPS+ 82
9. Matt Macri
He does have absurd numbers, but he has 3 at bats on the season, so who knows what he has?

Their 6th hitter has a OPS+ of 86 this year. That's horrendous. That is below the average player. That is David Eckstein production. In fact, their 5 through 8 hitters are below average hitters.

So even though I disagree with Gardenhire on his lineup a little, it's not like his GM gave him a great players to put in a lineup. Craig Monroe, their fourth best player, has an OPS+ of 108. The Twins are 29-27 this year. I suspect it's a result of their young pitching stepping up.

Kevin Slowey has one complete game, an ERA+ of 105 and a WHIP of 1.057.
Nick Blackburn has an ERA+ of 118 and a WHIP of 1.382

Livan Hernandez, Glen Perkins, and Boof Bonser are below average starters. I expect the Twins to slip in the standings. Carlos Gomez should not be batting lead-off. Though in this lineup, he should be batting 5th.

Should Willie Randolph keep his job?

Willie Randolph has been in the news lately in regards to his job security. He even has said that a lot of it has to deal with race. Perhaps. But comparing yourself to the Isiah Thomas situation isn't a very good move.

But the question is, should Willie Randolph keep his job?

The Mets are projected to win 93 games. As of now, they are one game above .500 and in third place.

Based on projections, the Mets are underachieving. Certainly that has to do with the players performance. Carlos Delgado has been horrendous this year. He has been on the decline the last two years, but this year, he is well below average with an 82 OPS+. To add to that, he is not a good defensive first baseman. Even with the low OPS+, he only has eight homeruns and a .383 slugging percentage.

Here is how the Mets lineup looks:

1. Jose Reyes
2. Luis Castillo
3. David Wright
4. Carlos Beltran
5. Carlos Delgado
6. Ryan Church
7. Brian Schneider
8. Endy Chavez
9. Pitcher

Without looking at the stats, I can tell you that Carlos Delgado batting 5th is way too high. He really shouldn't be a major league starter, in all honesty, but I feel that him batting 5th is based on past reputation. But at least he isn't batting THIRD like Jeff Kent and his 72 OPS+ for the Dodgers.

David Wright and his team high .920 OPS is the best hitter, and he should bat third. Ryan Church is the second best hitter, yep, and has a .904 OPS. He should bat fourth. Luis Castillo has a .374 on base percentage and is a solid second hitter. Jose Reyes doesn't have an insanely high on base percentage, and perhaps shouldn't lead-off, I'm okay with him leading off because he does have a good OPS. His OPS is .823 with a .345 OBP. Carlos Beltran has a lower OPS, .815, and a higher OBP, .370, so based on the numbers, he should lead-off. But I will buy into the fact that Reyes is a better lead-off candidate.

So my order would be:

1. Jose Reyes
2. Luis Castillo
3. David Wright
4. Ryan Church
5. Carlos Beltran
6. Carlos Delgado
7. Brian Schneider
8. Endy Chavez
9. Pitcher

Really, his only big mistake is not batting Ryan Church higher. He certainly deserves it. And for as horrendous of a hitter Carlos Delgado has been, especially for a first baseman, batting him fifth isn't nearly as bad as it looks. He should be batting sixth, which doesn't make a huge difference.

So what does that mean?

GM Omar Minaya has given Randolph some really bad players. Reyes, Wright, Church, Beltran, and Castillo are all fine hitters. But Delgado, Schneider, and Chavez are horrendous. Delgado's 82 OPS+ makes him the sixth best hitter. That's just a tad below David Ecksteain.

Yikes. And to think, that Schneider and Chavez are worse than that.

Now, I don't feel that Randolph manages pitchers well. No starter has thrown a complete game, which means that a relief pitcher is used in EVERY single game. No breaks.

If you look at the list, the Mets have played 55 games. Seven relief pitchers have thrown in 20 games or more. Pedro Feliciano has thrown in 29 games. That's more than half of the games played!

Aaron Heilman has thrown 26 games, or the second most games pitched for the team. He has an ERA of 6.67, or an ERA+ of 61, which is well well below the average pitcher. He has a WHIP of 1.588. So for every inning he pitches, he gives up one and a half walks and hits per inning pitched. That is significant because if Randolph uses him during the middle of the inning with runners on base, Heilman is likely to give up a hit or two and possibly a run.

Johan Santana has an ERA+ of 127 and a WHIP of 1.200. Both are below his career numbers, but they are both very respectable. He is an ace pitcher.

John Maine has an ERA + of 111 and a WHIP of 1.313. On an elite team, those are probably worthy of a third best pitcher, but he is pitching well.

Oliver Perez has pitched really bad. He has an ERA+ of 84 and a WHIP of 1.525. His past numbers suggest an up and down career. He should be the fifth best pitcher despite below average numbers because he is capable of delivering gems.

Mike Pelfrey has pitched even worse. He has an ERA + of 81 and a WHIP of 1.696. That is horrendous. His past numbers are similar. He should not be a starting pitcher.

The real problem with the Mets is the moves made by Omar Minaya. Carlos Delgado is horrible defensively, and he is a below average hitter. His power numbers are down, and he isn't getting on base.

My only real complaint with Randolph is that Ryan Church isn't batting higher and he over uses Aaron Heilman. Johan Santana and John Maine should pitch deeper into games. Some of those relievers just need a break, and those two pitchers have pitched well. Perhaps Randolph doesn't deserve as much criticism, though he deserves some because the team was projected to win 93 games. However, Randolph really shouldn't have brought up Isiah Thomas when he talked about minority coaches in New York receiving bad treatment by the media.

EDIT: The lineup was written for the lineup as of yesterday. As of today, Randolph made a change and Delgado now bats seventh. Ryan Church bas been moved to fifth, which is much better.

Beirut is for nerds

I've always enjoyed people from the east coast getting offended when someone calls the game beer pong. Besides, isn't Beirut the capital of Lebanon?

Out of curiosity, I wikipedia'd beer pong.

The info box is quite humorous:

Players typically 2 teams of 2
Age range legal drinking age, however widely played by underage participants
Setup time 2 minutes
Playing time 10-20 minutes or less
Random chance Easy
Skills required aiming, taunting and alcohol tolerance

The wiki page shows a diagram for the types of shots. The diagram is funny, and I wouldn't be surprised if the graph was printed on a t-shirt.

Speaking of t-shirts, I usually find most "funny" t-shirts to be tacky. In fact, despite popular thought, I only wear the Simpson and Family Guy t-shirts because they're blue. All but one were purchased from my mom or some relative. I digress. I did find humor in a t-shirt that someone wore last night that said something to the effect of "awkward mornings are better than boring nights."

It's better than a t-shirt I saw that read, "I like tits." At least he's honest.

My favourite t-shirt to wear is a cheap $5 t-shirt I bought at Old Navy when I lived in Chicago that has some karate diagram and reads "Foot to Face Institute." I wear it and purchased it because it's gray and can go excellent with black. Of course, the t-shirt is a conversation starter to a conversation I want no part of.

Other thoughts:

Why is game 1 of the NBA finals Thursday? Man. These playoffs were rolling along, and now I have tis six day gap between games.

The word "ish" never really took off as slang for it's.

The Strangers is an interesting and well-done horror movie.

I saw Problem Child yesterday on HBO, and that is an extremely underrated early 90s comedy. John Ritter's movie career is underrated, as well.

Why do non athletes take steroids? Is there an appeal to looking like this. Or having bacne? Here's a less freakier but still freaky picture. I just never understood muscles.

This question has bugged me since the 9th grade when I took Spanish 1. Why doesn't the English language start questions off with an upside down question mark? Wouldn't it make for an easier read? You know how like when we raise our voice as a question sentence goes on to reflect to the audience that it is, in fact, a question? I mean, sometimes if you're reading, you might not know it's a question until the very end, and by then, the voice reflections are non existent.

11:39 am: i’m sitting behind u

I woke up Sunday afternoon to four text messages.

7:45 am: hey ryan, its jessica. i hope u r having a good morning. call me when you get up.

7:46 am: btw i got 2nite off. we should hang out. what do u think??

10:30: sorry but i forgots. i told my friend that i’d hang out with her. i can cancel if u want.

11:30: my friend is sick so we can hang again :-)

Who is Jessica?

I thought about last night and retraced how it all went down:

I was at Martini Ranch dressed in Scottsdale attire. Dress shirt, untucked. Casual. Black pants. Classy. Aldo shoes. Mandatory.

I was with a group of friends celebrating our final weekend of summer vacation. I had no intentions of just hanging out with the guys as I wanted to get out there and dance.

I searched for a female that was at the awkward end of a female dancing triangle.

Definition (not seen in Webster’s): Female Dancing Triangle- a dance that consists of two women facing each other while a third woman faces the other two women.

A diagram: [:-]. I was looking for the dash.

I also searched for the female that was just chilling while her friend was chatting it up with a guy. No definition or diagram needed.

I found a female dancing with two other girls. I approached her and said, “Let’s dance.”

“I’m Jessica,” she said.

“Ryan,” I said.

We danced until closing time. At the end of the night, we talked outside of the club for a little while.

“Yesterday was my birthday, and I got a $50 gift card to Chili’s. We should go Wednesday night,” she said.

“Yeah, sure. That sounds fun. Let me get your number,” I said.

She gave me her number, and I called her phone.

“Sweet. Well, I gotta get going,” I said.

“You’re going to call me, right?” she said.

“Absolutely. And I just called your phone so you have my number also,” I said.

We hugged, and I went home.

Jessica is the girl I met last night at Martini Ranch.

My roommate Eric walked in through the front door. I went to the living room to show him the text messages.

“How are you feeling?” Eric said, handing me a Gatorade bottle.

“Thanks,” I said. “I’m okay. Just out of it. I woke up to four text messages from this girl I met last night,” I said.

“Nice. So what happened?” he said.

“We were at Martini Ranch. I just went off looking for a girl to dance with. I saw a female dancing triangle, and I approached one of the girls. She was cool and all, but look at all these messages,” I said giving him my cell phone.

“Wow, this girl really likes you” he said.

“I know, and I’m just not feelin’ it. Like I had a great time and all, but I’m not sure I want to date her. Plus the new semester starts tomorrow. Everyone is single. I kinda want to be single too,” I said.

“Don’t answer her calls or text messages,” he said.

“It’s not that easy. I was so enthusiastic last night,” I said.

My cell phone went off. It was a text message.

12:02 pm: hey, r u up yet?

“Tell her that you can’t hang out tonight,” Eric said.

I responded, and moments after, she called me.

“Don’t answer,” he said. “You’re not prepared to have a phone conversation with her yet.”

After a few minutes of silence, Eric suddenly had a big smile on his face.

“You should take her on an afternoon date,” he said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because it’s casual and nothing serious and you can play it off as a friendship,” he said.

“That’s a good idea. I can take her to that sub place near campus,” I said.

“Yeah, and schedule it at a time where you don’t have much time to hang,” he said.

“We have that sociology class at eleven forty. I’ll have lunch with her at eleven, and I’ll meet up with you at like eleven thirty or so,” I said.

“Yeah, definitely,” he said.

“You know Melissa is in that class,” I said.

“That’s gotta be awkward,” he said.

“We signed up for the class when we were still together,” I said.

“It’s gonna be weird every time she sees you talking to another girl,” he said.

“Well, remember, she broke up with me,” I said.

“Still,” he said.

I got out my cell phone and sent Jessica the text message.

“Alright, I sent it,” I said.

I woke up Monday morning to four text messages.

6:30 am: good morning :-)

8:35 am: i jus got out of my first class. i have an hour break if u wanna meet up.

8:36 am: i’ll be at the library.

10:42 am: i’m headin over.

After reading those text messages, I knew that I couldn’t hang out with her beyond the afternoon date.

I threw on a t-shirt and basketball shorts, and I walked over to the sub place. It was about a five minute walk from my place.

I walked into the sub place, and I saw Jessica inside sitting at a table.

“I ordered your sub for you,” Jessica said.

“Oh, thanks,” I said.

“I figured you’d like Turkey,” she said.

“It’s not bad,” I said.

“How are classes going for you?” she said.

“Actually, my first class starts at eleven forty,” I said.

“Really? My last class starts at eleven forty. How funny,” she said.

She wore a t-shirt with a big carrot.

“Do you garden?” I asked.

“No, I just like carrots,” she said.

“I was thinking of growing a garden in my front yard. It would be kind of cool to be able to go out there and pick out fresh radish for a salad,” I said.

“Really? How funny,” she said.

“Yes,” I said taking a bite out of the sandwich.

“I still have the gift card. Do you want to go tonight?” she said.

“I would. Actually, let me just be straight up with you. I don’t want to date you,” I said.

“What?” Jessica said.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

Jessica started crying.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“You were so enthusiastic the other night,” she said.

“I know, but we just met and you text a lot. I’m just not feeling it,” I said.

“But,” she hesitated.

“I’m sorry. I gotta go,” I said.

I left the sub place to go meet up with Eric at the hallway outside of our class.

“I told Jessica that I didn’t want to see her again,” I said.

“How did she take it?” I said.

“She cried. It was hard, but I had to be straight up with her. I got another barrage of text messages this morning. She really doesn’t have anything interesting to contribute in conversation. After everything I said, she would say, ‘Really? How funny.’ I just had to do it,” I said.

“You’re right. Hey, I’m going to go get a jamba juice before class. Are you coming with,” he said.

“Nah, I’ll hit up the vending machines outside,” I said.

I went to the vending machines outside to get a bottled water. When I returned, I walked inside the classroom and sat down in the middle of the class. I heard my name being called, and three rows in front of me was this cute girl, Chelsea, whom I had a class with the previous semester. She came to sit to the right of me.

“How was your summer?” I asked.

“Good. I was in Italy for six weeks,” she said.

“Nice, I bet Brad missed you,” I said.

“Oh, we broke up two weeks before I left,” she said.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah, nobody goes into summer in a relationship,” she said.

I saw Eric walk in, so I stood up and called his name. He came and sat to the left of me.

“Hey Ryan,” someone said.

I turned around, “Oh hey Melissa,” I said.

I turned back around. “We’re amicable. I called her last night,” I said to Eric.

I turned my attention back to Chelsea, but she was occupied with a text message.

“I got tickets to this concert tonight. I was wondering if you wanted to go,” I said.

Chelsea looked at me and looked back at her cell phone. She then got up and moved to another seat.

“What’s with her?” I said to Eric.

I got a text message, so I checked it out.

“No way,” I said quietly to myself.

I turned around and Jessica was sitting next to Melissa.

Three Sides of Comfort

I agreed to hang out with a female friend from class. And her boyfriend.

I met them at his apartment that night.

She introduced us, and we shook hands. He elected to flex his biceps during the handshake. Oh, don’t worry. He flexed any chance he got that night. He flexed while holding her hand, he flexed while pointing, and he flexed while turning the steering wheel.

After the flex-shake, we left the apartment and walked to his car.

“What’s with the backpack?” Kevin said.

“I use it to carry things,” I said.

“Like a purse?” he said.

“I guess you could say that,” I said.

“Looks pretty gay,” he said.

We loaded up his car, and I took my third wheel position in the backseat of the car.
Occasionally, I would lean in a little, waiting for a break in the conversation to interject fast phrases. Just so they knew that I hadn’t jumped out of the car.

“Do you work out?” Kevin said.

“No, I like being unimpressive physically,” I said.

“Really, you should give it a try. You might actually get some dates,” he said.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said.

He stopped to fill up his car with gasoline. I took the opportunity to talk to Amanda.

“How do you think you did on that test today?” she said.

“That was so easy. Seriously, didn’t study at all either,” I said.

You know how when classmates hang out for the first time outside of class, they end up talking about class…

“Hey, you remember when I said that I still had a New Kids on the Block folder from the first grade?” I said pulling out the folder from my backpack. “Well, check it out.”

“That’s so awesome. I can’t believe you kept that,” she said.

“I never saw the need to replace folders,” I said.

“You know that MTV special on the New Kids on the Block. It actually might be Vh1. Anyways,
they show archive concert footage, and there is this girl with red marker highlights in her hair
screaming outside in the parking lot, ‘I want to marry Joey McIntyre. I want to marry Joey McIntyre!’ Yeah, that’s my sister, and I was the 6-year-old standing next to her,” she said.

“Oh, you know I have to check that out,” I said.

Kevin popped in through the driver’s side window.

“How about that girl over there?” he said, pointing to a woman pumping gas one car over.

“What about her?” I said.

“Think she’s cute?” he said.

“I think she’s 40,” I said.

“I’ll go talk to her,” he said.

He went to go talk to the woman as he finished pumping the gas.

“So how long have you guys been dating again?” I said.

“About a year,” she said. “It’s comfortable.”

That adjective threw me off. I really didn’t know how to reply. New Kids on the Block couldn’t even help me out.

I looked out the window and saw him talking to the woman. She looked uninterested in whatever he had to say. After a moment of seeming rejection, he came back into the car.

“Sorry man, I tried to get that girl’s number for you,” he said while starting the car.

The rejection was confirmed.

“Why would I want her number? She’s like 20 years older than me,” I said.

“She’s got experience. She can teach you a few things,” he said.

“She’s not even attractive,” I said.

“She’s a stepping stone,” he said.

Fortunately, we arrived at the bowling alley moments later.

“Let’s make a wager,” I said. “Loser buys the winner a soda.”

“Alright, let’s do it,” he said.

We got our shoes. 9.5 for him, 11.5 for me. Not that it means anything…

We got our balls. 16 for him, 10 for me. Not that it means anything…

We went to our lane, registered our names, and began to bowl. Amanda and Kevin sat together to the right, and I sat in the middle seat behind the score-keeping console.

Kevin went first and stood in front of the air blower for about a minute. I moved to sit next to Amanda.

“I’ve always enjoyed talking to you before class, and I’m glad we finally got to hang out,” I said.

“Yeah, totally. So what do you think of Kevin?” she said.

“Steeeeeeeeerike,” Kevin said running toward Amanda and giving her a kiss.

The game was pretty competitive. He bowled two strikes in the tenth frame to surpass me. I needed five pins to win. As I was getting ready to bowl, I noticed that he was talking to a cute brunette at the lane to the right. I couldn’t hear what the conversation was about, but I heard him say the word ephedra. I bowled and knocked down six pins.

I returned to the front to check the monitor to make sure that I did win the game. I looked over at Kevin, and the girl looked uninterested in whatever he had to say. At this horrendous rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if Amanda dumped him by the end of the night. I finished out the tenth frame by knocking down two more pins.

Kevin came over after being rejected by the girl. I didn’t even need confirmation.

“Sorry, I thought I had that girl for you, but you know how girls are sometimes,” he said.

“It’s cool. But hey, I believe that you owe me a soda,” I said.

“I could have sworn you stepped over the line in the third frame,” he said.

“I’m pretty sure the buzzer would have went off,” I said.

“Sometimes those things don’t work,” he said.

He went to step on the line. The buzzer went off.

“Alright, well, here,” he said counting out the money. “We’ll have a rematch someday. Best two
out of three.”

He gave me the money and flex-patted me on the back. I went to the snack bar to purchase my soda. I noticed a girl standing by herself to the left of the snack bar. I approached her after the snack bar lady gave me my soda cup and change.

“This hasn’t been an ideal Friday night. I’m the third wheel,” I said.

“Yeah, tell me about it. I’m also a third wheel. My friend is totally ignoring me,” she said.

I noticed her shirt had a superman logo.

“I still have the death of superman comic in its original black bag at home,” I said.

She smiled.

“Let’s make this a fun night,” I said.

I went to the soda fountain to fill my cup with orange soda. I looked over, and I noticed a guy was talking to her.

“…you’d be Tennessee because you’re the only ten I see,” I heard the guy say to her as I walked toward them.

“Excuse me,” I said to him.

He looked at me. I looked at him. She looked at us.

The three of us looked at each other.