Radical Ryan

Preseason Predictions One Week Later

2011-04-09T19:53:00.000-07:00

Again, I'm one week late to the baseball predictions, so I will jump right into it.

The American League playoff spots: New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Texas Rangers and Chicago White Sox. The National League playoff spots: Cincinnati Reds, Philadelphia Phillies, San Francisco Giants and Florida Marlins. In the World Series, the Rangers will beat the Phillies. I don't have a surprise AL team because I think there is a team that will surprise us. Despite a 1-7 start, I do think the Red Sox will come back with ease. So unless you don't grasp the concept of sample size, they might be a "surprise team." My disappointing AL team is the Minnesota Twins. My surprise NL team is the Florida Marlins, and my disappointing NL team is the Atlanta Braves.

Awards:

AL MVP: Adrian Gonzalez

NL MVP: Hanley Ramirez

AL Cy Young: Brett Anderson

NL Cy Young: Josh Johnson

Manny Ramirez's Retirement

2011-04-09T19:34:00.000-07:00

In a surprising announcement, Ramirez announced his retirement yesterday.

Last year, I compared Ken Griffey Jr's career to Michael Jackson's career. In this analogy, Manny Ramirez has to be Lady Gaga, right?

They're both talked about for their antics but both are powerhouses in their field. Click here for a slide show of Lady Gaga's antics.

This YouTube clip shows the three Manny B. Manny moments, which include him cutting off Johnny Damon's throw and catching a ball, high fiving a fan in the stands and turning the double play.

Manny was one of the greatest hitters in the history of baseball and he has been linked to performance enhancing drugs. He also brought two World Series championships to the Boston Red Sox and created Mannywood with the Los Angeles Dodgers. All of that is part of his legacy, sure, but on this day, it's time to celebrate the funny.

(Almost) Everything I've Ever Written

2011-03-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

Here are a collection of stories I've written (for fun and for pay).

Sadly, East Valley Tribune stripped away past byline's so it's too time consuming to search for every story. Also, Arizona Foothills Magazine upgraded their Web site halfway through my tenure so a couple of my awesome stories weren't transferred over. I couldn't find State Press stuff. There are a couple of magazine pieces that do not have an online publication and there are some "just for fun" stories on my desktop that need to go through five million edits before I'd post them.

The Day The Clown Cried
This is a b-spot post that features a collection of some of my creative stories. You get the movie theater awkwardness, third wheel awkwardness, etc etc.

Yard Work
This was my second favorite story to write for Media That Deelivers. My favorite story is only available through the magazine, but even my favorite story went through a good 12 or so edits. This went through the typical two to three edits. I nailed it. This might be the only time they used the title I chose too. The thing about this story is that I had a month to collect facts, interview and write it before it went to edits. I got all the interviews and information done within days but I had huge writer's block. Three weeks later, I was working on the story and wrote a good draft. It was missing the opening graph. I took a nap and in my dream, I was writing the opening and it was good. So I woke up and wrote the opening based on my dream.

"From eco-friendly landscapes to alfresco living spaces, our experts dish the dirt on creating a lavish lawn."

The West's Best Architects
The only thing I remember about this was that it didn't take long to write.

Love Sweet Love
This was the last story I wrote for Arizona Foothills magazine (MTD). I actually finished it after I got laid off. In this collaborative piece, I interviewed Pat and Duffy McMahon. Pat requested I interview him at his house. He has a nice house and has a "Wallace and Ladmo" Wall of Fame. Pat was pretty funny, but as you can tell, his wife Duffy provided the story.

Showhouse Gives Back
I wrote the AZ Giving section during my time at Media That Deelivers for Arizona Foothills magazine. In this issue, we wrote about this one ridiculously lavish house. Top notch designers from the valley decorated rooms and we wrote about it all. During the month, readers could tour the home for a price and each week, the proceeds would go to a charity. This just outlined all of that. Not my favorite story to write, but it was a good cause.

Panda's Puzzle Piece
This is another AZ Giving piece for the PANDA organization. This was fun to write but it took me a while to figure out my angle. Once I nailed down the interview with the doctor, I figured out my story and ran with it.

Women Who Move The Valley 2009
This is a collaborative story. I enjoyed talking to the three women I interviewed. I actually met with them all in person. We honored all the women with a breakfast at a resort.

That's My Dad
This is another collaborative story. I had a lot of input with this story at the writer's meeting. The sources weren't already in place so we had to brainstorm a list. I mentioned the idea of getting a Diamondback so I was in charge of producing a Diamondback. I had zero contacts within the organization. So I google searched and came across some emails and sent an email to the head of PR who got me in touch with another PR rep. I had a meeting with the PR rep and we got Chris Snyder on board.

East Valley Tribune Stories

I'm not a big newspaper guy, but I enjoyed my time at East Valley Tribune. The editors and writers were very nice and helpful. I worked five hours on a Friday afternoon every week in conjunction with my News Writing class at ASU. I had to have six published pieces and there was a list of stories we had to write (sports, government, business, etc etc). Sometimes I would come in and the editor I worked with would ask if I could work on a story. Other times, I would go to this bin that had story ideas and sources and choose a story that could be used for my class. Sometimes I would just search for stories on my own that I needed to write. One time I asked one of the editors if I wrote a story about such and such if he would publish it...he looked at me for a few seconds...and said "yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

Dog Serves As A Reading Mentor at AJ School

40,000 Expected To Race For The Cure
The original writer of this story called in sick, so the editor asked if I would go down, interview Betty and write the story. I did. It was the main story in the Saturday paper.

Valley Christian Mourns Star Football Player
Like eight people worked on this story. I contributed a couple quotes and sentences. I actually went down to the school. It was really awkward.

I Don't Get Ruben Amaro Jr.

2010-12-14T17:42:00.000-08:00

The Philadelphia Phillies signed Cliff Lee to a reported five year $120 million contract with a potential sixth season. Lee is an awesome pitcher and is comparable to Phillies ace Roy Halladay.

Amaro took over the general manager position with the Phillies after the 2008 World Series. Since then, he has made the following moves:

-He signed Raul Ibanez to a three year $30 million contract

-He signed Jamie Moyer to a two year $13 million contract

-He traded for and then signed Joe Blanton to a three year $24 million contract

-He signed Ryan Howard to a five year $125 million contract extension years before free agency

-He traded for Cliff Lee in 2009, who was amazing in the post season and then traded him after the season

-He traded for and signed Roy Halladay to a guaranteed three year $60 million contract

-He signed Placido Polanco to a three year contract

-He traded for Roy Oswalt

-And he signed Cliff Lee again

The contracts, except Halladay but including Lee, are ridiculous. He gave too many years and too many dollars for players who were a bit long in the tooth. I don't get how he can just sign players to these ridiculous contracts that will take them into their late 30s (or in Moyer's case late 40s), but for the very short term, the Phillies have one amazing team that are deserving World Series contenders in 2011 and 2012 for sure.

I Don't Get Jack Z

2010-12-08T18:17:00.000-08:00

Since I compared Seattle Mariners general manager Jack Z, and San Francisco Giants general manager Brian Sabean in February, Sabean and the Giants won a World Series while Z and the Mariners lost 101 games. Figures, right?

Sabean is definitely not a genius and he has made some horrible signings, but for all the criticism, he deserves praise for assembling a team and coaching staff that won a World Series. That said, this post is more about Z.

In my post, I concluded with this:

Z brings in the same type of players that Sabean brings in. Z pays them much less than Sabean. Z does not throw all of his dice at said players. Instead, he creates depth and competition. Z is brilliant, Sabean is not.

Maybe Z isn't brilliant. He traded Brandon Morrow. He was erratic as indicated by his walk rate, but he could strike batters out. He's not Nolan Ryan, but he could be a Jonathan Sanchez and is certainly a good mid rotation starting pitcher.

He signed Ken Griffey Jr. Junior's farewell tour was last season. He was serviceable last season, and it was a fitting way to leave the game. While Junior may have wanted to play, his 2009 year wasn't good enough to warrant another farewell year. Predictably, Junior retired before the all-star break.

He signed Mike Sweeney. Junior's slightly younger clone did okay in his brief time with the Mariners, but it was still a wasted roster spot.

And it is being reported, that he just signed Miguel Olivo to a two year contract. It's hard finding catchers with a .283 career on base percentage...

Z is a general manager who is capable of stealing a Cliff Lee from a horrible general manager in Philadelphia Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. But he certainly is not an elite general manager. In my conclusion, I missed the point in the first sentence:

"Z brings in the same type of players that Sabean brings in."

Maybe he pays them less, but he is still filling his roster with bad players. Perhaps like Sabean, he might get a strong rotation (already has the ace) and luck into a few signings and grab a World Series trophy, but he is no genius that I thought he was after his first season with the Mariners.

Derek Jeter's Free Agency

2010-11-21T09:06:00.001-08:00

The latest story in the Derek Jeter free agency story is his agent calling the Yankees offer of 3 years and $45 million baffling. His points:

"Derek's significance to the team is much more than just stats. And yet, the Yankees' negotiating strategy remains baffling."

His production last season was poor. Beyond the stats, he is an old shortstop. If the negotiation strategy is so baffling, maybe his agent should go to other teams to see what they would offer. The reason he doesn't: the Yankees are willing to overpay to keep him because of his significance to the team. His significance, however, isn't going to make or break the World Series projections.

"They continue to argue their points in the press and refuse to acknowledge Derek's total contribution to their franchise," Close added, according to the report.

His total contribution was in his last contract of 10 years and $189 million. Also, offering him $15 million a year for three years is one year and $25 million too much. He is coming off a 90 OPS+ season. He is also 36 years old, so it is more likely to remain at that level or go down rather than revert to his 125 OPS+ production the year before.

From Hal Steinbrenner:

"Look, this is a business negotiation,'' Hal Steinbrenner said of the talks last week. "None of us wants to make it personal, because it's not personal. ... My family's got a lot of respect for Derek and I believe it is a mutual thing. It's been a good history. We're gonna do our best to keep it by the book."

Voice of reason. The Yankees foolishly overpaid for Alex Rodriguez when nobody else would've come close. They gave outlandish contracts. Those days are over (maybe). I am interested to see how this plays out. The agent is there to get the most years and most dollars for his player. But I don't see any team offering Jeter a fourth year. And right now, Jeter and his agent look bad.

A Guide to Blind Dating: In Braille!

2010-11-07T17:51:00.000-08:00

I was sitting at a table by the coffee shop at the outdoor mall with my roommate Jake.

“You know that girl I met at the party a couple nights ago?” I asked pulling out a post-it note with a phone number. “I tried calling her this morning, and it directed me to the rejection hot line.”

“Ouch,” Jake said.

“Right?” I said sipping on my lukewarm coffee. “I guess it’s just easier than saying, ‘Sorry dude, I’m really just not interested.”

“Let me see that,” he said.

I gave him the post-it note. He looked at it for a second and then put it in his pocket.

“What are you going to do with that?” I asked.

“You never know when it can come in handy,” he said.

A beautiful brunette was walking her dog and passed Jake and me. She was wearing all black and complimented the look with very opaque sunglasses.

“She is cute,” I said.

“Go up to her,” Jake said.

“Nah, I can’t. She doesn’t look like she wants to be bothered,” I said. “Plus she is walking her dog. Dogs don’t really like me.”

A grade-school-aged boy with full camouflage face paint was running around pretend shooting pretend people.

“You should throw this tennis ball at this kid,” I said pulling a tennis ball out from my backpack.

“Where did you get that tennis ball?” Jake asked.

“What? I like tennis balls.”

“I don’t want to throw it. You throw it.”

I threw the tennis ball aiming for his chest, but it him smack against his nose. The kid looked at us and ran away.

“Well, that didn’t work out,” I said.

“We should probably leave,” Jake said.

Later that day, Jake and I were sitting in the living room at our apartment. On the couch next to me was our cat, Fredo. Fredo is a very large cat with paws that resemble human hands in front and human feet in the back.

“Did you break up with Samantha yet?” I asked.

“I can’t. It’s hard. I don’t know what to say,” Jake said.

“Just start insulting her.”

“I tried. She thinks I’m playing hard to get. She seems to like me more when I insult.”

“Compliment?”

“No because I don’t want to give her the wrong idea.”

“She is really ugly.”

“I know,” Jake said. “I’ll probably end up marrying her.”

The telephone rings. Jake picks up and starts talking. A few minutes later, Jake pulls out his wallet and gives his credit card number over the phone.

“What was that?” I asked.

“I just bought the Total Gym,” Jake said.

“You don’t even work out.”

“I know, but it’s kind of code in the telemarketing community to buy products from each other.”

“You never sell products at your job.”

Jake checked his phone for text messages.

“Samantha texted me,” Jake said. “She said she has someone perfect for you.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“We were talking about how you never go on dates, and I guess she found someone for you.”

“I go on dates!”

“Yeah, but they never work out.” Jake responded to the text message. A few minutes later, he checks his phone for a reply. “Samantha said her friend will call you later.”

“You gave her my number?”

“Yeah, just talk to her. Samantha has cute friends.”

“Alright, I can go for that,” I said. I stuck my hand out and gave a high five to Fredo.

Later that night I was playing solitaire and my cell phone rang.

“Hey, it’s Ryan,” I said.

“Hi, I’m looking to speak to Ryan,” a girl said. “Oh, I’m sorry, you said your name. It’s Denise.”

“Hey Denise. I’m not sure who you are.”

“I’m friends with Samantha. She said she is dating your friend and I guess is trying to play matchmaker.”

“Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, that’s cool.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, how are you?”

“This is kind of awkward, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, do you want meet at a coffee shop tomorrow night? Maybe if we meet it’ll be better?” I asked. “There’s this great place by the outdoor mall.”

“Sure, that sounds good.”

“Okay, does seven work?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Alright.”

“Okay bye.”

I went to the living room where Jake was playing solitaire.

“Your girlfriend’s friend Denise just called me,” I said.

“Oh yeah?” he asked. “How was it?”

“Dude, it was really awkward. I didn’t even know what to talk about. We agreed to meet up tomorrow night,” I said. “I’m just scared because I don’t even know what she looks like.”

“What’s your breaking point? Kids? Pimples?”

“I love kids,” I said. “Not sure about pimples, but I could deal with that.”

“You should be okay,” he said. “But if it doesn’t work out, we should have a plan.”

“Like what?”

“I’ll give you a call at the beginning of your date,” he said. “Like an exit call. If you know it’s not going to work out, you can just make up some random excuse with me on the phone and leave.”

“Okay, that could work.”

“So Samantha and I are going to hang out at the beach tomorrow afternoon.”

“Are you going to break up with her?”

“I can’t,” Jake said. “I’m going to bring Fredo with me so I have at least something friendly.”

The next day Jake and Fredo met up with Samantha at the beach.

“Hey there,” Jake said.

“What is that?” Samantha asked pointing at Fredo.

“It’s my cat Fredo,” Jake said. “I thought I’d take him for a walk and get him out of the house.”

“Yeah, but he has like hands and feet.”

“It’s a little unusual.”

“Jake, I can’t be seen with this cat.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying get rid of this cat or it’s over.”

“I’m not getting rid of Fredo.”

“Well, then it’s over.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you’re not even sad.”

“No.”

“Whatever.” Samantha left while Jake high fived Fredo.

A cute blond came up to Jake and Fredo. “That’s a really cute cat,” she said.

“I think you’re a cute cat,” Jake said. A few moments later, “Okay, that was bad.”

“Yeah that was,” she said laughing.

“I’m Jake.”

“I’m Melissa.”

“I know it’s kind of bold, but I would like to hang out sometime. Can I get your number?” Jake sneezed all over Melissa. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry. That was bad.”

“It’s okay, but strike two, buddy,” she said wiping her face with a napkin.

“I actually don’t have a phone,” she said. “But my roommate does. So why don’t you give me your number?”

Jake reached into his pocket and pulled out a post-it note. “Here you go,” he said handing her the post-it note. He quickly realized that he just gave her the rejection hot line number. “Actually, wait, let me give you this number instead.” Jake and Melissa traded post-it notes. Jake noticed a tennis ball coming right at him from the corner of his eye. In his defense, he ducked behind Melissa. The tennis ball hit her smack against her nose. “Oh, umm, so you’ll call me tomorrow?”

Later that night I met up with Denise at the coffee shop. As I walked in, I saw a brunette wearing all black and opaque sunglasses. By her side was a dog. I approached her, “Denise?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Is this Ryan?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Wow, you look amazing.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I got us coffee. I hope you like mocha.”

“Yeah, definitely.” My phone rang. It was Jake calling about the exit plan. I picked up.

“Hey man, it’s all good,” I hung up the phone.

“What was that about?” Denise asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” I said. “So I got a new haircut. What do you think?”

“I can’t see it.”

“Well, take off your sunglasses, silly.”

“I’m blind.”

“Ohhhhh,” I said. “Well, that’s cool. I’m glad you aren’t able to see what I look like then.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I have a ton of acne,” I said. A few moments later, “Totally joking by the way.”

The boy with war paint walked into the coffee shop.

“Oh my gosh,” I said. “Don’t look. Well, it’s not like you can see. But this kid with war paint just walked in. I totally beaned him with a tennis ball yesterday. We need to leave.”

“That’s my son, you jerk,” she said.

The boy came up to the table. “Mom, why are you hanging out with this guy?”

I ran away.

The next afternoon, Jake and I were sitting on the couch in our living room.

“You ran?” Jake asked.

“Yeah, what else was I supposed to do,” I said. “I had to get out, but her dog bit me.” I showed Jake my arm that had a deep bite mark.

“I thought seeing-eye dogs were friendly.”

“Yeah, but dogs hate me.”

“Samantha broke up with me yesterday,” Jake said.

“Really? What did you do?” I asked.

“Nothing. She didn’t want to be seen with Fredo,” he said. “After she left, this cute blond came up to me. We started talking, and I gave her my phone number.”

“I don’t know how you do it, man.”

“It went okay, but I don’t think she will call,” he said. “I kind of hid behind her and let a tennis ball hit her in the face. And then I kind of ran away.”

“It looks like you have a voice mail. Your phone is blinking. Maybe it’s her?”

Jake played the voice mail, all automated, “The person leaving this message has no interest in dating you. Please try again.”

San Francisco Giants win the world series

2010-11-01T19:11:00.001-07:00

Tim Lincecum pitches eight innings and strikes out ten, and Edgar Renteria hits a key three run home run off Cliff Lee in the San Francisco Giants world series victory over the Texas Rangers.

Going into the World Series, I wrote that the Giants would beat the Rangers in the World Series. Just a quick look at ESPN writers' picks, and you will see that 9 of the 10 writers thought the Rangers would win. In a rough analysis, the Rangers have better hitters and equal pitching. It makes sense that the Rangers would win. The Giants have home field advantage (not a big thing but something) and a much better head coach. Bruce Bochy is not in the elite two of managers (Joe Maddon and Terry Francona), but he is in that group of 12 or so average managers--meaning he is in the top 14. Ron Washington is in the pretty bad manager group. This is an edge because until this game, Washington had not used his best relief pitcher, Neftali Feliz, in a non-save situation. He also put Vladimir Guererro in the outfield, used Darren Oliver too much and kept Derek Holland in a game in which he couldn't throw a strike and walked three batters--opening up a huge inning.

The Giants staff was awesome, but the Rangers staff, save Lee, was underrated and equally as awesome. It was clear to me that the Rangers would win the game started by Colby Lewis and the Giants would win the game started by Madison Bumgarner. The Matt Cain and C.J. Wilson match-up favored Cain, but not by much. The Lincecum and Cliff Lee match-up favored Lee but realizing that Lincecum can out-Lee Lee if you will. I figured the Giants would win in six if Lincecum was epic in one of the two games against Lee--and he was in game five. In game one, Lincecum was average and Lee did not pitch well. It didn't help that the relief pitchers in that game were equally brutal. I thought that if it went to a game seven, the Rangers would have the edge as far as fielded players, but Bochy would put in Lincecum, Bumgarner, whoever if Sanchez showed any signs of not being effective. And when it comes to a close game, it's hard to trust Washington's instincts.

The Giants won the World Series because of their pitching and Bruce Bochy managing pretty brilliantly. Brilliance is a bit of hyperbole, but it's hard to question most of his decisions. He deserves the compliments even if it doesn't extend to next year.

I've questioned Brian Sabean's game plan. Believe me, he is not a great general manager. Keep in mind that Aaron Rowand, Barry Zito and Mark DeRosa are under contract during this World Series, and Zito and DeRosa are not on the postseason roster. Rowand is a bench player.

I didn't like the Aubrey Huff or Edgar Renteria signings, but they have played a huge role in the Giants quest for a World Series title. They along with Buster Posey, Juan Uribe, Cody Ross, Freddy Sanchez, Pat Burrell, the Giants pitching and Bruce Bochy won the World Series.

Madison Bumgarner

2010-10-31T20:42:00.000-07:00

Madison Bumgarner pitched eight shut out innings to move the San Francisco Giants one game closer to a World Series title. In the 4-0 victory over the Texas Rangers, Bumgarner just needed the two run home run from Aubrey Huff in the third inning.

In 121 major league innings, Bumgarner has a 3.31 so/bb ratio. Today, he struck out six and walked two. He was sharp from start to finish. Brian Wilson finished the game with two strikeouts in the ninth inning.

This game was mostly free of questionable managerial moves. Rangers manager Ron Washington didn't have an opportunity to blow this game. Sure, using Darren Oliver in a two run game was questionable, but the Rangers didn't score a single run.

Going into the World Series, I wrote about how close the starting pitching was between the Giants and the Rangers. Looking at the specific matchups, the Rangers had a clear edge with Colby Lewis over Jonathan Sanchez. Sanchez has the stuff to throw a dominating gem, but he also can walk a bunch of batters and get into early trouble. The Rangers also had the advantage with Cliff Lee over Tim Lincecum. Lincecum is an ace and he is capable of out pitching Lee on any given day so that advantage is very small. The Giants have a small edge with Matt Cain over C.J. Wilson, however, it isn't a large enough gap to make a huge difference. All of the games have gone as they should.

Including this game.

Bumgarner has a huge advantage over Tommy Hunter. It's not even close. Hunter doesn't strike out a lot of batters (career 5.1 so/9) and gives up a lot of home runs (career 1.4 hr/9). While he doesn't walk a lot of hitters (career 2.5 bb/9), his control isn't that great to offset the home runs and lack of strike outs.

It would have been fun to see Bumgarner pitch a complete game shut out, it wasn't the worst thing in the world to remove him after eight. That's all they needed from him tonight. And if this reaches a game seven, they will probably need him to replicate his dominance.

Just Watch John Wall

2010-10-28T22:29:00.000-07:00

I rarely write about basketball because it's hard to analyze. The available stats aren't that helpful. What I can gather is that: assists are overrated, rebounds are crucial, field goal percentage is the OBP of basketball and defense, like in baseball, is hard to measure without any doubt. Also, per 48 minute rate stats are more important than regular rate stats, point differential shows dominance and blocked shots are only good if it leads to a turnover.

I am a bigger basketball fan than baseball fan. Make no doubt about it. I watch YouTube mix tapes, high school slam dunk contest (remember David Lee beating James "Flight" White in 2001?), Slamball, DVR all-star weekend watch almost every NCAA tournament game and even watch women's college baskeball. Sorry, I don't watch the WNBA.

I'm only writing this because I want my picks on record (in no order).

East:
Heat
Celtics
Magic
Bulls
Hawks
Knicks
Wizards
Bucks

It was hard to come up with an eighth team, believe me.

West:
Lakers
Thunder
Blazers
Jazz
Suns
Rockets
Spurs
Mavericks

The Celtics play great defense and Rajon Rondo is a legitimate top tier point guard. The Heat have King Wade, Sidekick James, Third Wheel Bosh, Mike Miller and a bunch of stuff. Despite the Game 1 beat down from the Celtics over the Heat, I have the Heat in the finals. They'll play better together as the season goes on. The more I think about it though, James should've went to the Bulls. As good as Wade is, playing with super rebounder/defender Joakim Noah and superstud point guard Derrick Rose and their supporting cast gives him the best chance to not only win this year but for future years. But hey, Miami is an awesome city, amirite?

In the West, it's two teams: the Lakers and the Thunder. It's hard to bet against Kobe Bryant...unless he's playing a team with Kevin Durant. The key to this series is the huge advantage the Thunder have in the point guard spot. Russell Westbrook has an insane advantage over Derek Fisher. I will pick the Thunder over the Lakers.

In the Finals, I have the Thunder over the Heat. The Thunder's "big three" (and by the way, most teams have a "big three") have played well together and longer together than Miami's trio. I respect LeBron's game, Wade's game, but neither are on Durant's level.

And here is a mix tape featuring superstud John Wall:

Neftali Feliz is available to pitch the ninth

2010-10-28T20:08:00.000-07:00

As I write the game two recap, the San Francisco Giants have a 9-0 lead over the Texas Rangers. Guillermo Mota is pitching with no men on, one out. If the Rangers score ten runs, Neftali Feliz is available for the save.

There are two outs now. Seems unlikely.

Why is that important? Because in the bottom of the eight, the score was 2-0, bases loaded, two outs. Feliz was not in the game. Derek Holland and the other relief pitchers managed to walk in runs, give up hits to guys named Aaron. Suddenly a close game was a blow out.

It was bad enough that Rangers manager Ron Washington went to Darren Oliver after C.J. Wilson left the game with a blister on his pitching hand (Fox gave an awkward close-up). Oliver, who wasn't horrible (and wasn't good), allowed the one runner Wilson left on base to score to make it a 2-0 game.

Mota just walked a batter. Jeff Francoeur is up. Mota vs. Francouer is Bizarro World Series pitching match-up, right? Strike one.

Unless Cliff Lee is pitching his A+ game (most of the time) or Wilson and Colby Lewis are pitching their A- game (sometimes), Washington has been exposed as a horrible in-game manager.

Francouer popped out. Game over. Here's your box score, which includes Matt Cain's effective start--per usual.

Cliff Lee Loses Game 1 of the World Series

2010-10-27T20:54:00.000-07:00

Did we ever think Cliff Lee would be on the mound when the team loses a game?

The hype machine created a story using Lee's success as the tie-in and ranked him eighth all time. I'm not here to kill Lee because he is an amazing pitcher. Just look at that 10.28 so/bb ratio this season.

In my World Series post, I mentioned this:

"You have to like the Rangers any time Cliff Lee and Colby Lewis take the mound. They figure to pitch in four games, and that is all the Rangers need to win the World Series. That said, Lee had 4 wins to 6 losses for the Rangers this year, and Lewis had 12 wins and 13 losses. But wait, wins and losses are a meaningless statistic and don't show how dominant Lee was with a 10.28 so/bb (second all time!) and Lewis with a 3.02 so/bb (comparable to Lincecum). Exactly, but the point in this case is that teams can win against those pitchers on the mound. It's unfair to assign those outstanding pitchers with team wins and losses, but there are so many variables in a game--starting and relief pitching, hitting, defense, speed and coaching."

The variables are the key to this game. In the fifth inning, balls dropped in for hits. Suddenly, the Giants were up 5 to 2 with two runners on and two outs. With a high pitch count and not getting outs, Rangers manager Ron Washington elected to take Lee out and replace him with Darren O'Day. The next batter, Juan Uribe, hit a three run home run to put the Giants up six. Variables: high pitch count for Lee, relief pitching.

In the eighth inning, Vladimir Guerrero was still playing right field. His horrible fielding contributed to a three run inning to put the game out of reach. Variables: defense, coaching.

All of this contributed to the Giants 11-7 win over the Rangers. While Cliff Lee wasn't great, he was only one piece of the Rangers loss. Starting and relief pitching, hitting, defense, speed and coaching: that's how the Rangers can lose games with Lee on the mound.

The minor subplot of the game: Giants manager Bruce Bochy used seven pitchers and three in the ninth inning to protect, at the time, a seven-run lead. Fortunately for Bochy, Washington's choice of playing Guerrero in right field for a full game overshadowed his odd bullpen usage.

Colby Lewis is a Legit Number Two Pitcher

2010-10-23T23:01:00.000-07:00

Rob Neyer wrote about the advantages the Texas Rangers have over the San Francisco Giants in the World Series. He picked the Rangers in six games. He highlights the one area where the Giants seem to have an advantage over the Rangers, starting pitching, and disputes the big discrepancy. He says that the Rangers are at least equal to the Giants.

"The Rangers can certainly match the Giants' starters. Cliff Lee is just as good as Tim Lincecum and C.J. Wilson is just as good as Matt Cain, and Colby Lewis is just as good as Jonathan Sanchez.

Actually, Lewis is better than Sanchez."

Lee and Lincecum are true aces. The numbers support Lee this season, but both pitchers are capable of throwing a dominating game. In game five of the ALDS, Lee pitched a complete game, giving up one run, striking out 11, issuing zero walks and giving up no home runs. In game one of the NLDS, Lincecum pitched a complete game shut out, striking out 14 and walking one batter. We know what these former Cy Young winners are capable of doing on any given game.

It's the other pitchers I am interested in comparing.

C.J. Wilson: 129 ERA+, 4.1 bb/9, 7.5 so/9, 1.83 so/bb, 0.4 hr/9, 4.6 bWAR, 204.0 innings pitched

Colby Lewis: 116 ERA+, 2.9 bb/9, 8.8 so/9, 3.02 so/bb, 0.9 hr/9, 3.6 bWAR, 201.0 innings pitched

Matt Cain: 130 ERA+, 2.5 bb/9, 7.1 so/9, 2.90 so/bb, 0.9 hr/9, 3.9 bWAR, 223.1 innings pitched

Jonathan Sanchez: 133 ERA+, 4.5 bb/9, 9.5 so/9, 2.14 so/bb, 1.0 hr/9, 3.4 bWAR, 193.1 innings pitched

After looking at the numbers, they are all pretty similar so he was correct in his comparisons. It is also important to note that ERA+ is league adjusted and not adjusted for all of major league baseball. He was absolutely correct in saying that Lewis is better than Sanchez. Sanchez, while good, is not legit number two pitcher good. Lewis has much better control as indicated by fewer walks per nine innings. The difference in strikeouts per nine innings can be adjusted to the league differential. For instance, Lewis doesn't have the luxury of facing a pitcher a couple times through. It's pretty crazy considering Lewis wasn't pitching in the states last year.

The World Series Post

2010-10-23T21:17:00.001-07:00

Before the playoffs started, I picked the Braves over the Rangers in the World Series. This was based on zero analysis. I wrote down the names of each playoff team and picked the teams based on match-ups. The point of that exercise was to show that World Series winners, more often than not, are random.

Ideally, some sort of Rays, Yankees and Phillies World Series combination was where the money was at, but in small game samplings, heroes can come from anywhere. That's where someone like Cody Ross can go from average major leaguer with some pop to NLCS MVP.

The Giants have great starting pitching in Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, Madison Bumgarner and Jonathan Sanchez. The Rangers have super duper ace Cliff Lee, the severely underrated Colby Lewis and probable AL MVP and ALCS MVP Josh Hamilton.

You have to like the Rangers any time Cliff Lee and Colby Lewis take the mound. They figure to pitch in four games, and that is all the Rangers need to win the World Series. That said, Lee had 4 wins to 6 losses for the Rangers this year, and Lewis had 12 wins and 13 losses. But wait, wins and losses are a meaningless statistic and don't show how dominant Lee was with a 10.28 so/bb (second all time!) and Lewis with a 3.02 so/bb (comparable to Lincecum). Exactly, but the point in this case is that teams can win against those pitchers on the mound. It's unfair to assign those outstanding pitchers with team wins and losses, but there are so many variables in a game--starting and relief pitching, hitting, defense, speed and coaching.

My World Series prediction won't come from analysis or picking teams out of a hat but rather feeling after watching these games in which managers affect outcomes more so than not. Analysis is useful in predicting a full season and forecasting next season. It is still useful in predicting series winners, but it's such a small sampling that both teams have an equal shot of winning it all.

I like the San Francisco Giants to win the World Series. Both teams have a lot of talent, but I have a feeling Rangers manager Ron Washington will use Darren Oliver a little too much.

Tom Glavine IS a Hall of Famer

2010-10-23T15:35:00.000-07:00

Earlier I questioned if Tom Glavine deserves to make it into the hall of fame.

Based upon his win total alone, he WILL make it into the hall of fame. There is no question about that. But as we know, wins are a meaningless number when determining if a pitcher is good or not.

In the end of my first post, I said that it is certainly debatable while remaining slightly in the undeserving side of the fence even after baseball writer Dave Cameron responded to my tweet question, "an easy yes."

I decided to tweet this question to another one of my favorite baseball writer's Jonah Keri after he was discussing Andy Pettitte:

"I can understand the reasons to not vote Pettitte. But what about Glavine? Not great so/bb rate, less FG WAR than K. Brown."

Keri replied:

"Sean Smith has Glavine with slightly higher WAR. I'd vote both Glavine and Brown in anyway."

Me:

"I just checked out B-R's WAR, and Glavine is ahead of Brown (and Pettitte). I guess the so/bb rate left me underwhelmed."

Keri:

"Lots of great old-time pitchers had crappy K/BB rates too. Think of Glavine as a throwback. Pitched to his strengths."

There are two WARs: baseball reference and fangraphs. Both are great metrics. Glavine ranks 29th in bWAR. He is ahead of Juan Marichal, Bob Feller and Jim Palmer.

As for that underwhelming 1.74 so/bb rate, Keri was right. Some of the great pitchers of the past had poor so/bb rate. Palmer posted a 1.60 so/bb rate for his career, and Feller ended his career with a 1.46 so/bb rate. In addition, Glavine threw 4413.1 innings in his career and had 14 seasons pitching 200 or more innings. Glavine's hall of fame worth is in his innings pitched, longevity and pitching effectively in all of those innings (career 118 ERA+ and 3.95 FIP).

Tom Glavine--a throw back pitcher--and a hall of famer.

Tim Lincecum and his gem

2010-10-07T21:05:00.000-07:00

One day after Roy Halladay threw a no hitter, San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum throws a better game in a tighter spot. In the Giants 1-0 win over the Atlanta Braves, Lincecum was one bad pitch away of losing the lead.

I couldn't hear the TBS announcers. I can imagine that they discussed pitch counts and "the next game." Am I wrong? Well, as we know from former Chicago Cubs manager Lou Pinella pulling game one starter Carlos Zambrano early to save him for the non existent game four? Lincecum gave the Giants the best chance to win this close game. Given that the Giants employ three other studs in Matt Cain, Jonathan Sanchez and Madison Bumgarner (meaning Lincecum won't be needed until the possible non existent game five), the decision was easy. In the end, he struck out 14, walked one.

D-back Dan Haren vs. Angel Dan Haren

2010-10-06T22:52:00.000-07:00

Was Dan Haren better as an Angel or as a Diamondback this year?

I raised this question after reading the comments from a Rob Neyer story about Roy Halladay's gem.

ressehilsborne said:

"I'm so tired of hearing about how pitching to the NL is so much easier. It's total ####, first of all your pitching to major league hitters in either sense it's not going to be easy in either league. But time and time again i hear the same story.

So you think the DH adds a lot more depth and strength to the AL? Then do me a favor and explain to me what went wrong with Dan Haren this year? Why is it he was able to dominate as an Angel and do awful as a Diamondback. Better yet, lets look at the entire career of Barry Zito. Dominated the AL, yet he cant even put up a winning season as a Giant.

Put the AL, NL #### to rest already and find some new material. Halladay pitching the way he did tonight would have cut any team in half, including his own."

I won't dabble in the AL vs. NL debate, but it was interesting to see how Haren fared as an Angel as opposed to his time this year with the Diamondbacks. If you recall, Haren had a "rough" going as a Diamondback. I put rough in quotes because his traditional numbers were pedestrian, but his rate stats were exceptional.

In 141 innings with the Arizona Diamondbacks, Haren had a 7-8 record and a 4.60 ERA. In 94 innings with the Los Angeles, California Angels of Anaheim, Haren had a 5-4 record and a 2.87 ERA. That being said, Haren in two of three categories had better rate stats. He posted 1.9 bb/9 and a 9.0 so/9 with the Diamondbacks, and 2.4 bb/9 and 7.4 so/9 with the Angels. The difference is that he gave up 1.5 hr/9 with the Diamondbacks as opposed to 0.8 hr/9 with the Angels. If we take a deeper look, we will see that he had a 3.88 FIP with the Diamondbacks and a 3.45 FIP with the Angels. His WAR with the Diamondbacks was 2.5 and his WAR with the Angels was 2.0. Now WAR is a counting stat, but it is safe to say that Haren was only a little bit better as an Angel than as a Diamondback this season. This is due to the fact that he had a higher home run rate with the Diamondbacks. The one thing we need to keep in mind in this analysis is the 47 inning difference. There's your answer, ressehilsborne.

Welcome to Doctober

2010-10-06T20:30:00.000-07:00

Roy Halladay pitches a no hitter in his playoff debut. In beating the Cincinnati Reds, Halladay becomes the second pitcher to throw a no hitter in playoff history. This happens to be the second no hitter he has thrown this season--the first being a perfect game.

Great players do great things whether it be in the regular season or the playoffs. The thing about the playoffs is that it magnifies hot streaks or slumps. It is still shocking that Halladay pitched a no hitter, but it is not shocking that he struck out eight, walked one and gave up no home runs. His so/bb ratio for the season is 7.3, and his hr/9 is at .9. He threw nine complete games and four shut outs.

Halladay's gem was just as good as his last start of the season in which the Philadelphia Phillies beat the Washington Nationals 8-0. In that game, he threw a complete game shut out, giving up two hits, striking out six, walking none and of course giving up no home runs. The only difference is two balls fell for hits. In his brilliant playoff debut, he pitched ridiculously well and got a little lucky that not one ball dropped in for a hit. Striking out batters, not giving up free passes and limiting the long ball...well...that's what makes him amazing.

Baseball Playoff Predictions

2010-10-04T22:20:00.000-07:00

Since the baseball playoffs are so random, I decided to draw names from a hat to make my predictions. If I were to do some real analysis, I'd say Rays over Phillies and write 1,000 words. But even with analysis, anything can happen. Yeah yeah. Cliche. But it rings true with baseball. That's how we end up with the St. Louis Cardinals winning the World Series with David Eckstein as the World Series MVP and Jeff Suppan as the NLCS MVP a few years ago.

Rangers vs. Rays

Rangers

Yankees vs. Twins

Yankees

Phillies vs. Reds

Phillies

Braves vs. Giants

Braves

Yankees vs. Rangers

Rangers

Braves vs. Phillies

Braves

Rangers vs. Braves

Braves

Your 2010 World Series champion, Atlanta Braves. Bobby Cox retires a winner. I picked the Yankees to beat the Braves early in the season. Random drawing picks the Braves over the Rangers. My logic picks the Rays over Phillies. So you know it's going to be Twins over the Reds.

The Brennan Boesch All-Stars Revisited

2010-10-04T21:55:00.000-07:00

A few weeks before the All-Star break, I wrote about major league baseball players having unlikely breakout first halves. You can read it here. The purpose of this post was to see some of these guys come back to earth after an awesome first few months of the season. I will first restate the stats as of June 27, 2010 and then will compile their end of the season stats.

Brennan Boesch

.337/.389/.611 162 OPS+

.256/.320/.416 99 OPS+

Boesch essentially went from Albert Pujols numbers to a tick below average hitter.

Paul Konerko

.302/.396/.583 157 OPS+

.312/.393/.583 158 OPS+

Konerko had a very consistent season, and there's even talks about him for MVP. Those talks have softened a bit as the Chicago White Sox fell out of contention. Really, he's not even the best offensive first baseman in the American League. Still. There's nothing bad about those numbers.

Vernon Wells

.281/.336/.562 141 OPS+

.273/.331/.515 127 OPS+

Wells got off to a great start. He showed the skills that awarded him an insanely high contract. I called shenanigans. While he cooled off a bit, he had a fine season. His on base skills are average, but when he connects on a ball, he certainly drives it.

Alex Rios

.311/.369/.541 139 OPS+

.284/.334/.457 109 OPS+

The paragraph that describes Wells can be copy/pasted here. Minus the part where I wrote, "but when he connects on a ball, he certainly drives it."

Corey Hart

.272/.339/.576 144 OPS+

.283/.340/.525 132 OPS+

Hart made the All-Star team and was rewarded with a contract extension. He had a nice year, but I would be shocked if his production continues on to next season and beyond.

Josh Willingham

.277/.408/.498 144 OPS+

.268/.389/.459 129 OPS+

Did you know that Willingham's career OPS+ is 121? Did you also know that he is 31 years old? Nevertheless, he had a very good offensive season. The .408 on base percentage stuck out for me when I made this initial list, but a .389 on base percentage is very good.

Aubrey Huff

.298/.389/.520 138 OPS+

.290/.385/.506 138 OPS+

Huff remained consistent throughout the season, however, if you look at his career, there is nothing consistent about him. I wouldn't be shocked to see an OPS+ under 100 next season. That is, after San Francisco Giants general manager Brian Sabean rewards him with a 3 year $40 million contract this off season.

Kelly Johnson

.264/.366/.494 121 OPS+

.284/.370/.496 128 OPS+

Johnson improved as the season went on. A second baseman with a good on base percentage and some power is a great commodity. He is truly an underrated player this season. It is hard to judge if he will continue this good performance or drop in production since there isn't a ton of games under his belt.

Max Scherzer is a Solid Two

2010-10-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

In that big three way trade last off season, the Detroit Tigers came away with the best player--so far. Curtis Granderson made the most headlines, Edwin Jackson pitched an eight walk no hitter, but Max Scherzer is a true top of the rotation pitcher.

After heading to the minors, it didn't look like Scherzer was going to be better than another pitcher involved in the deal, Ian Kennedy. The two pitchers faced off, and I wrote about it. In the game recap, I wrote this:

"Going into this game, it looks like Kennedy has had a better year than Scherzer--especially if you use ERA as the basis of your argument. Scherzer has a 6.14 ERA and Kennedy has a 3.57 ERA."

And after doing some deeper analysis, I concluded with this:

"Both pitchers have very similar rate stats. If Scherzer can lower his home run rate to somewhere closer to his career of 1.1/9, his ERA will drop and if Kennedy can do the same, he will be able to sustain his ERA."

Now the season is over and here is how they ended up.

Kennedy:

191 innings, 111 ERA+, 1.2 hr/9, 3.2 bb/9, 7.8 so/9, 2.40 so/bb, 2.5 fangraph's war

Scherzer:

195.2 innings, 120 ERA+, .9 hr/9, 3.2 bb/9, 8.5 so/9, 2.63 so/bb, 3.7 fangraph's war

Both pitchers had nice seasons. Early on, it looked like Scherzer was going to flame out, but it is clear that Scherzer is turning into a stud.

Is Tom Glavine a future Hall of Famer?

2010-09-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

Tom Glavine will be in the Hall of Fame when he is eligible. The 305 wins alone will get him into the Hall of Fame. The question is: will voters look at other (real) statistics?

Wins are a dumb stat. We all know this. The team wins and loses games. One pitcher does not determine the outcome of a game alone unless that pitcher hits a home run and strikes out every batter he faces.

Felix Hernandez gave up one run in a complete game loss today against the Toronto Blue Jays. Meanwhile, Rodrigo Lopez gave up four runs in five innings in a winning effort against the Colorado Rockies yesterday. Did Lopez have the better game? Of course not.

Glavine's career rate stats are not Hall of Fame impressive: .7 hr/9, 3.1 bb/9, 5.3 so/9 and 1.74 so/bb. In his 1991 Cy Young year (his best season), he had the following rate stats: .6 hr/9, 2.5 bb/9, 7.0 so/9 and 2.78 so/bb. He had a 5.7 WAR that season, which is impressive.

I tweeted the question to Fangraphs baseball writer Dave Cameron:

"Do you think Tom Glavine is a hall of famer? After looking at his career rate stats and other advanced metrics, maybe not?"

He replied back to me:

"An easy yes."

Looking beyond his rate stats: His career WAR is 68.6 with a career FIP is 3.95. His FIP ranks 38 out of 40 pitchers with 4,000 innings pitched (or 118 out of 131 pitchers with 3,000 innings pitched. I'm still having a hard time building a Hall of Fame case from these numbers.

But then I took a look at his WAR rankings. This list does not include seasons prior to 1980, but Glavine ranks 9th. He is just above Andy Pettitte but behind Kevin Brown.

I completely respect Cameron's opinion, and he is my favorite baseball writer. I do have to disagree because I think his case is, at least, debatable.

A Quick Glance at the MLB Standings

2010-08-09T23:17:00.000-07:00

From my season prediction's post I had ranked the following teams as playoff teams:

"The American League playoff spots: New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Texas Rangers and Chicago White Sox. The National League playoff spots: Philadelphia Phillies, St. Louis Cardinals, Atlanta Braves and Arizona Diamondbacks."

Right now, the Yankees, Rangers and Braves are playoff teams. The White Sox and Twins are tied for the division. The Cardinals and Phillies are closing in on the division and are battling the San Francisco Giants for the Wild Card. The Red Sox are six games behind the Tampa Bay Rays for the Wild Card, and they have been killed by injuries. The only bad prediction would be the Diamondbacks.

I also mentioned this:

"I feel that the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and Seattle Mariners will be disappointments in the American League as well as the Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles and the San Francisco Giants will disappoint in the National League."

The Angels and Mariners are disappointments as they are third and fourth in their division. The Dodgers are fourth in their division. The Giants are battling the San Diego Padres for the division and currently lead the Wild Card race.

Stay tuned.

The Mustached GM Adds Former ROY Runner-Up

2010-07-29T15:46:00.000-07:00

The Los Angeles Dodgers traded two minor leaguers to the Kansas City Royals for 2005 all-star Scott Podsednik.

The Dodgers gave up triple A catcher Lucas May and A-ball pitcher Elisaul Pimentel. The Dodgers will also pay Podsednik's remaining salary this year. In 73 triple A games, May has a triple slash stats line of .300/.356/.500. He turns 26 years old this year, however.

When I first heard about this trade on the radio, my first thoughts were, and I am channeling my inner Ned Colletti by the way, former All-Star (one time), rookie of the year runner up, former stolen base leader and owner of a shiny World Series ring.

Here's Colletti's take:

"He has been a World Series champion with the Chicago White Sox [in 2005]," Dodgers general manager Ned Colletti said. "He brings speed, he is a good hitter, he can play left field or center field if necessary, and he can drive in runs. With Reed Johnson and Manny being out and not knowing exactly when they'll be back and not knowing if they will have additional issues the rest of the season, this is a safeguard against them having any trouble staying on the field."

World Series champion is meaningless. Certainly the pitching, Paul Konerko and Jermaine Dye had a much larger role. Podsednik played well for the Chicago White Sox during their World Series run, but in said World Series, he got on base 28.6% of the time--I know only 22 plate appearances but still meaningless to include that as the reason to trade for him.

He does steal a lot of bases, but he also gets caught stealing a lot too--leading the league in that category two times and the leader this season. For his career, he has stolen a base at a 75% rate. This year, he is at 71.4% and last year he was at 69.7%. He is 34 years old, so it isn't unreasonable to note that his speed has diminished somewhat.

Podsednik isn't a useless player, but it is a mildly useless trade. He fills in nicely as a bench player and an okay pinch runner. It's not as bad as giving up Carlos Santana for Casey Blake, but it's just a ho-hum typical Colletti move--trading away young players for old veterans who once upon a time played in a World Series or an All-Star game.

One more thing. The article ends with this pearl:

"Podsednik is expected to arrive in time for Thursday's game against the San Diego Padres, and the Dodgers will announce a corresponding move at that time. The club probably will do one of three things: (1) Option outfielder Xavier Paul to Albuquerque, (2) designate veteran outfielder Garret Anderson for assignment or (3) send a reliever to the minors, thus reducing the pitching staff from the 13 the Dodgers have carried for the past week to the more conventional 12."

If you had to rank those, wouldn't you rank them (1) designate veteran outfielder Garret Anderson for assignment, (2) designate veteran outfielder Garret Anderson for assignment and (3) designate veteran outfielder Garret Anderson for assignment?

While Anderson used to be an All-Star, he does own a .182/.206/.277 31 OPS+ stat line. While it is ridiculous that the Dodgers carry 13 relief pitchers, keep in mind Joe Torre goes through relief pitchers recklessly. Chad Billingsley pitched the Dodgers first complete game on July 21st since the 2008 season.

What did the Dodgers do? They designated pitcher Jack Taschner for assignment. Sure, that's not a bad idea, but somehow, someway Garret Anderson is on the roster.

Garret Anderson

2010-07-03T22:35:00.001-07:00

Somehow Garret Anderson has played played 62 games and have 132 plate appearances. He is used primarily as a spot starter and pinch hitter. His line this year:

.183/.198/.286 with a 32 OPS+

Not only is he not a good pinch hitter, but he's not even a pinch walker. Let's see if he is still on the Los Angeles Dodgers roster at the end of the season!

Business Card for Biznass

2010-07-02T21:42:00.000-07:00

I went to a party with my friend Melissa. When we arrived at the party, it was pretty much dead. We got there at 10, so we were expecting people to show up within an hour. This gave us time to catch-up.

“I still keep getting messages from Amanda,” I said.

“And you guys stopped dating three months ago?” she asked.

“Yeah, and she broke up with me. Apparently, she wants to get back with me.”

“And you don’t want that?”

“No way. Not after the way it ended. Plus, she has too much drama. It’s just annoying. Also, her laughs. She needs an inhaler when she laughs. I can’t be funny.”

“You’re not funny.”

“Well, sometimes I say something that is funny…” I said. “Oh, hey, before I forget, I got a new phone number.”

“What’s the number?”

“I don’t know. I’ll call you.”

I called her. At this time, people started showing up. Melissa went to go talk to guys, and I decided to talk to girls.

“Hey, so we’re at a party,” I said.

“Yeah, looks like we are,” one of the girls said.

“What’s in the red cup?” I asked.

“Beer from that keg,” she said.

“You’ll never see juice in a keg. It’s always in a box. I want to do a keg stand to minute maid. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

At this point, we just kind of looked at each other and parted ways. I never have productive things to say. Conversation wise, I’m best suited to find a girl who watches VH1.

I met back up with Melissa.

"I completely bombed," I said.

"Bad jokes?" she asked.

"I gotta start writing jokes beforehand. I can't make anything up on the fly.”

"Do you think that would make a difference?"

"Probably not. How about yourself? I saw you talking to a guy over there.”

"Yeah, Brad. He's okay. He gave me his business card and told me to call him for a date.”

"Are you going to call him?"

"No, he should make the first move. It's tacky.”

"Let me see the card.”

Melissa hands me the card.

"Okay, while you're looking at that, I'm going to talk to my friend," she said.

The card was plain white with the phone number in black. Under the number, it read “call me, baby.” I stuck the business card in my pocket and went for a walk around the party.

While I was walking, I overheard two girls talking about The Surreal Life. That caught my attention, so I decided to join in.

“Hey, sorry I couldn’t resist, but I love that show,” I said.

“I can’t believe C.C. botched that Go Fish game,” she said.

“No kidding. I’m Ryan, by the way.”

“”Hi, I’m Ariel.”

“Who do you think is the most famous? I think it's Vanilla Ice.”

“It has to be Ron Jeremy. I mean, Sublime referenced him in a song,” she said. “But I really have to get going. I have work in the morning.”

“Well, I’d love to hang out with you. Perhaps we could watch The White Rapper Show together some time.”

She gave me her number, so I called her so she could have mine.

“So you don’t have a business card?” she asked as she showed me a card Brad gave her.

“So that guy gave you a business card?” I asked.

“Yeah, what a tool.”

“I know. He gave my friend a business card. I guess he’s hoping someone will call or text him.”

We gave each other a hug, and Ariel left. I met back up with Melissa. I told her all about Ariel, and she told me about a cool guy named David. Our night was going well. That was until I saw Amanda walking in. She saw me and walked toward me. Fortunately, Melissa was next to me. That is until she decided to go talk to David some more. I was alone.

“Hey Ryan, I’ve been thinking about you. What’s up?” Amanda asked.

“Oh, nothing much. Just drinking fruit juice,” I said.

“That’s funny. I tried calling you yesterday, but it said that the number was no longer in service. Did you get a new phone?”

“Yeah, it’s the new chocolate. It’s pretty cool.”

“What’s your new phone number? We should hang out soon.”

“Ummm,” I hesitated.

I reached into my pocked, pulled out Brad’s business card, and I gave it to her.

The Brennan Boesch All-Stars

2010-06-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

With the All-Star game weeks away, I thought I would compile a list of deserving players who should make the All Star team but may or may not be All-Star worthy. Think of this list in terms of say Chris Coghlan robbing Andrew McCutchen in the Rookie of the Year last year. Sure Coghlan had a nice season and maybe deserved the award, but we knew that it was mildly flukey. Right?

Anyway, this isn't Rookie of the Year debate. I just wanted to post some numbers as of June 27, 2010 and then revisit this at the end of the season. For this post, I am focusing on hitters.

Brennan Boesch: .337/.389/.611 162 OPS+

Paul Konerko: .302/.396/.583 157 OPS+ At 34, he is having a career year, and the last two seasons indicated a downward trend.

Vernon Wells: .281/.336/.562 141 OPS+

Alex Rios: .311/.369//.541 139 OPS+

Corey Hart: .272/.339/.576 144 OPS+ and leads the national league with 18 home runs

Josh Willingham: .277/.408/.498 144 OPS+

Aubrey Huff:
.298/.389/.520 138 OPS+

Kelly Johnson: .264/.366/.494 121 OPS+

Max Scherzer Shuts Down the D-Backs

2010-06-20T17:35:00.000-07:00

Former Arizona Diamondback Max Scherzer threw a rare gem in a victory over his former team.

Scherzer pitched 7 strong innings striking out eight and only giving up two walks. The Detroit Tigers defeated the Diamondbacks 3-1 on Sunday. Diamondback starting pitcher Ian Kennedy, who like Scherzer, was featured in last off season's three team blockbuster trade, pitched a strong 6 2/3 innings issuing zero walks and striking out five batters. His downfall? He gave up two home runs to Carlos Guillen and Brennan Boesch.

Going into this game, it looks like Kennedy has had a better year than Scherzer--especially if you use ERA as the basis of your argument. Scherzer has a 6.14 ERA and Kennedy has a 3.57 ERA.

Looking at Scherzer's stats, through 66 innings, his bb/9 are consistent with his career averaged at 3.4/9 (not that great), but his hr/9 has sky rocketed to 1.6/9 and his k/9 have dipped slightly at 8.0/9. The dip in strike outs could be due to the fact that he is facing a designated hitter instead of a pitcher or pinch hitter.

Kennedy has been a nice surprise for the Diamondbacks. He was the most intriguing player in the trade because he had GREAT minor league numbers, but has been injured for much of the past two seasons. In 88.1 innings, he has 7.8 k/9, 3.2 bb/9 and 1.5 hr/9.

Both pitchers have very similar rate stats. If Scherzer can lower his home run rate to somewhere closer to his career of 1.1/9, his ERA will drop and if Kennedy can do the same, he will be able to sustain his ERA.

Ken Griffey Junior's Retirement

2010-06-03T22:14:00.000-07:00

Ken Griffey Junior's retirement is similar to Michael Jackson's death.

I heard about Griffey's retirement at work, likewise, I heard about Jackson's death at work. After hearing about Griffey's retirement and Jackson's death, I immediately thought about how great they once were and how irrelevant they became later on in life.

Think about this: Griffey owned baseball in the 90s while Jackson owned music in the 80s. Look at the following stats.

Ken Griffey Jr. OPS+ throughout the 90s:

1990 135
1991 155
1992 149
1993 171
1994 170
1995 122
1996 153
1997 165
1998 150
1999 139

Then not much.

Michael Jackson number one hits:

1972 Ben
1979 Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
1980 Rock With You
1983 Billie Jean
1983 Beat It
1987 I Just Can't Stop Loving You
1987 Bad
1988 The Way You Make Me Feel
1988 Man In The Mirror
1988 Dirty Diana
1991 Black Or White
1995 You Are Not Alone

Then not much.

Griffey's irrelevance came mostly from injuries and then ineffectiveness due to age. Jackson's irrelevance came mostly from accusations, bizarre behavior, plastic surgery and not putting out much music. Griffey had an effective, healthy and all-star worthy 2007 season. His slash stats that year were .277/.372/.496 (119 OPS+). Jackson had a nice hit with You Rock My World in 2001, which reached to number 10. For the last 10 seasons, Griffey wasn't in the baseball spotlight--save for a couple all-star appearance, worthy or not. The talk was Albert Pujols, Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Roger Clemens, Randy Johnson and other big names. Strange because Griffey was THE biggest name in the 90s. For the last 14 years, Jackson wasn't in the music spotlight--save for a few appearances at music shows and the 30th Anniversary Special. Usher, Eminem, Kanye West, 50 Cent, Beyonce and other musicians were featured at clubs. Jackson was THE biggest name in the 80s.

The talk about Griffey was the injuries. Was it shocking to see Griffey come up limping on the base paths or hurt himself while tracking down a fly ball? The talk about Jackson was the plastic surgery. Was it shocking to see Jackson with a new nose or facial bone structure for that matter?

Griffey also depicted cool. Who didn't want to wear the backwards hat after seeing him rock the style in batting practice? Jackson depicted cool. I know I wanted to wear the one glove while attempting to do the moon walk on the playground.

I thought about the two after Griffey announced his retirement, I thought about how he was my favorite player at one time and how I haven't thought about him much since his first season with the Cincinnati Reds in 2000. It's not that I stopped liking him, but he wasn't around for me to enjoy. I recalled how much I loved him after watching some YouTube clips and sifting through my baseball cards. After Jackson's death, I started listening to some of his songs again on YouTube. I always had Man in the Mirror on my iTunes, but I forgot how much I loved Black or White, Will You Be There and Beat It.

I also started thinking about the two when I read the comments section from the Rob Neyer article. Neyer had a rational perspective on Griffey's career, and it contained a lot of praise. However, fan boys didn't see his point and didn't recognize the praise and attacked based on some of the negative comments. If you scour message boards (yes, guilty pleasure), you will see people attack any negative, fair or not, comment about Jackson.

For Griffey, the fan boy response is something like, "He saved baseball in Seattle, and he played like a kid and was a great 5-tool player."

For Jackson, the fan boy response is something like, "He was a misunderstood beautiful man who cared about his fans and did a lot of charity work. He was a great musician and a poet."

It's amazing how a retirement and a death can make people recall all the good that someone did and forget the not-so-good. I will conclude with my thoughts on each subject.

Ken Griffey Jr. was one of my favorite baseball players growing up: the others being Frank Thomas, Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire and Kevin Appier. He and Bonds were the two best players of the 90s and absolutely owned their skills. Griffey could hit, run and field. That being said, after a nice, what I thought to be, farewell season in 2009, he came back for one more year. I don't blame him for taking the money. I blame Jack Z for offering the contract. Regardless, he accepted the contract, and this season was disastrous. He took a nap, couldn't hit and was ultimately benched. None of this will affect my childhood memories of him, but as an adult, it is a part of his profile.

Michael Jackson was one of my favorite musicians growing up: the others being MC Hammer, The Cars, B52s and Tom Petty. He and Prince were the two singers who owned it in the 80s. Jackson could sing, dance and write. That being said, he was extremely weird. His skin tone, plastic surgery and hanging his youngest son from a hotel balcony made me wonder what's in his mind. Of course I have failed to mention the big elephant in the room: the sexual allegations with kids. We'll never know the truth, and I won't even pontificate my thoughts on the situation. None of this will affect my childhood memories of him, but as an adult, it is a part of his profile.

I think really, at this point, all I can do is enjoy their skills. And for that, I'm going to find my old Walk Man and put in my Will You Be There cassette and pop in my Major League Baseball Featuring Ken Griffey Jr. for the N64 and rock out. Don't worry, the N64 is already hooked up to my TV. Always.

Ken Griffey Jr. Retires, Fan Boys Go Crazy Over Non Bias

2010-06-02T20:47:00.000-07:00

Ken Griffey Jr. retires, Rob Neyer writes a balanced perspective fan boys display reading comprehension fail.

After Neyer discusses Griffey's bad performance this year and below average performance last year, he gives a nice ovation:

"He was a great player. No question about that. But for many years, he wasn't quite the player people thought he was, or was supposed to be. In retrospect, did Griffey really deserve his spot on the All-Century Team? Did he really deserve to win 10 Gold Glove Awards? Did he really save baseball in Seattle? Tomorrow, it will be said that Griffey was the best player of his era who didn't use steroids. Was he really, though?

Actually, he might have been. Only three of Griffey's contemporaries are credited with more Wins Above Replacement: Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, and Jeff Bagwell ... and Bagwell's just slightly ahead of Griffey, well within the margins of measurement error.

Griffey's reign as baseball's greatest player didn't last long, and he didn't hit 800 home runs. But he played in the same outfield with his father, he symbolized baseball in Seattle for a decade, and even while struggling with a long list of injuries during the second half of his career, he built a brilliant career that will land him in Cooperstown the moment he's eligible.

Maybe he wasn't as good as he could have been. But he was better than almost everyone else."

It's not a gushfest at all, but Neyer keeps things in perspective and ultimately concludes that he was better than almost everyone else. A couple things to keep in mind regarding Griffey. No way did he deserve to play this year. I don't blame him for taking the money, but for as much praise as I have given Jack Z, he really screwed up signing Griffey after last season.

Since signing with the Cincinnati Reds before the 2000 season, Griffey has put together two really good seasons, two above average seasons, four injury-filled seasons and one average seasons, one bad season and one horrible 33 game final hurrah.

In the 90s, he was great every year. He was a true all-around player and a lock to be in the MVP hunt. Overall, he is a sure hall of famer and one of the true greats. It's sad to see him go out like this, but for whatever reason, Jack Z thought it was best to bring him back. And now we're left with the awkward, can't say good bye now, mid season retirement. Instead of thinking about the surprising, yet merited, retirement today, I will find a VHS player and play some mid 90s all-star game that I have recorded on VHS tape.

Enough about my take on Griffey, let's check out the reader backlash in regards to Neyer's column. Keep in mind, Neyer said that Griffey didn't live up to his potential, but he was still better than almost everyone during his generation. Truth, right?

Well, comprehension fail here we go.

folsom band writes:

"In retrospect, did Griffey really deserve his spot on the All-Century Team?" Hell, yes. "Did he really deserve to win 10 Gold Glove Awards?" WTF? Yes. "Tomorrow, it will be said that Griffey was the best player of his era who didn't use steroids. Was he really, though?" Now, you've gone too far - of course, yeah."

If he would have read the next sentence, Neyer says that he might have been the best.

MittEaters writes:

"Neyer is a tool who has always hinted at an anti-Griffey bias. Junior probably blew right by the dork in the dressing room one time and he's always held a grudge."

I'm not sure how many locker rooms Neyer has been in, but where is the anti-Griffey bias?

reed_jones writes:

"Neyer you have lost a reader with this terrible piece. Take a look at the numbers but I guess for you ignorance is bliss."

Let's take a look at those numbers.

2009: .214/.324/.411 slash stats. He was not horrible, but he was not good enough to play every day. And since he turned 40 last year, his projected numbers would not improve.

He comes back and puts up this in 108 plate appearances in 2010: .184/.250/.204. Sure he could have improved on them, but he wasn't going to go on a hitting tear and be the all-star he once was in his prime. The numbers suggested retirement.

Chipper Jones Still Effective

2010-05-31T10:31:00.001-07:00

Chipper Jones is off to a disappointing start for the Atlanta Braves this season, but he can still contribute winning baseball.

Going into today's game, he has a .243 batting average, two home runs and a .756 OPS. His OPS+ is 106 so by definition he is an above average hitter. The catch: his on base percentage is .399.

The problem, as outlined in today's box score, is that he is batting third while Jason Heyward is batting second. Batting order is usually designed for the first inning because in the first inning we know who will bat first, second and third. In later innings, it becomes jumbled. Heyward gets on base AND hits for power. His slash stats are .299/.419/.592. I think it's time manager Bobby Cox flips Jones and Heyward in the batting order so Heyward can drive Jones in.

Ivan Rodriguez: True Yankee

2010-05-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

ESPN ran a story on its Web site several years ago about a True Yankee. I think the concept is ridiculous because it is synonymous with winning and having a big hit. Despite posting two MVP seasons, Alex Rodriguez wasn't even in the discussion of True Yankee until last season when he had another great, albeit in an injury plagued, season, a dominating post season and a World Series ring. Yet a monster 27-game season followed up with a decent enough post season and a World Series ring put Shane Spencer into True Yankee status after his 1998 season.

With that in mind, I thought it would be fun to kind of pick at this notion of True Yankee. I introduce Ivan Rodriguez: True Yankee.

Ivan Rodriguez is a Hall of Fame quality catcher who had a great run with the Texas Rangers from 1991 till 2002. He won an MVP in 1999 and made All-Star appearances from 1992 till 2001. He signed with the Florida Marlins in 2003 and helped them win a World Series over the New York Yankees. He then latched on to the Detroit Tigers in 2004 and put up his last great season posting a .334/.383/.510 line.

Rodriguez briefly played for the New York Yankees in the 2008 season. He played 33 games (101 plate appearances) and posted a .219/.257/.323 slash stats line with 2 home runs and a 51 OPS+. Yes, we're talking only 33 games, but he hadn't posted an OPS+ above 100 since 2004. He was so bad that Jose Molina got a majority of the starts. Coincidentally, Molina in 100 games (297 plate appearances) posted a 51 OPS+. It's always nice when you can get that kind of consistent play among your catchers.

Rodriguez then signed with the Houston Astros and was later traded back to the Texas Rangers in the 2009 season. Combined, he posted a .249/.280/.384 line and a 73 OPS+. He's retired, right? Nope. The Washington Nationals signed him to a two year $6 million contract last off season. If the previous five seasons of average to horrendous play weren't any indicators, the Nationals figured that he could get things figured out as he turns 39 this season and 40 next season. So far, in 31 games and 119 plate appearances, he has posted a respectable .333/.356/.441 line and a 112 OPS+. He should retire now. Ivan Rodriguez: A True National.

Dan Haren to the Bullpen

2010-04-21T23:44:00.000-07:00

With the score tied 4-4 after the Arizona Diamondbacks rallied back in the bottom of the eighth, Bob Howry and Chad Qualls gave up five runs in the top of the ninth as the Diamondbacks fall to the St. Louis Cardinals 9-5.

Howry, Qualls, Aaron Heilman and Juan Gutierrez have been miserable to start the year. All have an ERA above 6.43. As of this point, I do not have a strong opinion on Diamondbacks manager A.J. Hinch, but I am glad that Lou Piniella is not the coach of the Diamondbacks. If he was, would we be talking about Dan Haren, who like Chicago Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano is off to a slow start, going to the bullpen?

The Sean Berry and Bill Spiers Platoon

2010-04-21T20:18:00.000-07:00

Before the Houston Astros were wasting money on Brandon Lyon, they were a forward thinking team. General manager Gerry Hunsicker and head coach Larry Dierker employed a platoon of Sean Berry and Bill Spiers during the 1998 season.

The right-handed Sean Berry started 76 games and posted a .320/.390/.511 line in those games. Against right-handed pitchers in 222 plate appearances, he had a nice .276/.365/.458 line, but in 120 plate appearances against left-handed pitchers, he posted an outstanding .383/.429/.598 line. The left-handed Bill Spiers started 89 games and posted a .291/.373/.422 line in those games. Against right-handed pitchers in 396 plate appearances, he had a solid .287/.370/.415 line. In contrast, he had 41 plate appearances (which was 41 plate appearances too many) against left-handed pitchers and put up a measly .143/.220/.200 line.

Combined as third basemen, they put up a .303/.380/.461 in 708 plate appearances line with 43 doubles, 5 triples and 15 home runs. They were also both 32 years old. For comparison Cal Ripken Jr. posted a .257/.329/.420 line in 718 plate appearances with 26 doubles, 3 triples and 24 home runs during his age 32 season.

What does this all mean? Sean Berry and Bill Spiers are not name-recognition baseball players. By themselves, they were okay hitters but nothing too spectacular. Spiers was atrocious against left handers while Berry was decent against right handers. Combined they put up all-star caliber numbers. The teams that can't field a great player without a platoon split at every position have to be creative with their rosters to get great season-long production.

For those keeping tabs, last year general manager Ed Wade employed Geoff Blum and Jeff Keppinger as their primary third basemen. The switch-hitting Blum posted a .252/.316/.368 line in 386 plate appearances over 100 games as a third baseman. The right-handed Keppinger posted a .243/.319/.374 line in 244 plate appearances over 65 games as a third baseman.

Combined as third basemen, they put up a .249/.317/.370 line in 630 plate appearances with 21 doubles, one triple and 15 home runs.

Carlos Zambrano Will Pitch in the Eight Inning

2010-04-21T15:18:00.000-07:00

It's about time that Chicago Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano will pitch in the eighth inning. Unfortunately for Cubs fans, we're talking about as a relief pitcher as the Cubs announced his move to the bullpen today.

In 2006, Barry Zito signed a $126 million, seven-year deal with the San Francisco Giants. This contract, rightly so, was outrageous as he was not an elite starting pitcher. While he has struggled at times, he has still given the Giants some good to great games and an okay performance overall.

In the summer of 2007, Zambrano signed a $91.5 million, five-year contract extension (with optional sixth season) with the Cubs. This contract probably should have received the same treatment as the Zito contract. Zambrano has struggled sometimes, save for one game and hasn't topped 200 innings pitched since 2007.

Zito and Zambrano are strangely similar besides the fact that their last names begin with Z. Zito's career pitcher slash stats are .9 hr/9, 3.7 bb/9, 6.7 so/9 and 1.82 so/bb. Zambrano's career slash stats are .7 hr/9, 4.1 bb/9, 7.7 so/9 and 1.91 so/bb. In the two seasons prior to signing his big contract, Zito had a 4.37 FIP in 2005 and a 4.94 FIP in 2006. In the two seasons prior to signing his big contract extension, Zambrano had a 3.62 FIP in 2005 and a 4.15 FIP in 2006. He signed the contract extension in the middle of posting a 4.55 FIP in 2007. Clearly, both pitchers were treading downward and didn't have the stuff to warrant the high contract. Somehow Giants GM Brian Sabean and Cubs GM Jim Hendry are still employed despite these outrageous signings among other horrible signings.

A couple of quotes to take away from the article:

"I told him we really needed him in the bullpen," [Lou] Piniella told reporters in New York before facing the Mets, according to the Chicago Sun-Times. "We felt he could do a really nice job for us there."

And then later:

The Cubs' bullpen ERA entering action Wednesday was 6.15 with a 1-6 record. The bullpen has blown 4-of-7 save opportunities this season.

"I'm confident this will help our situation out," Piniella said, according to the Tribune. "This makes all the sense in the world. This is a significant move, not a panic move."

I realize that Zambrano has struggled, but we're talking about a $91.5 million relief pitcher. He's still one of the top five starting pitchers on the team. Also, I'm not sure a guy who has a career 4.4 walks per 9 innings would make for a good relief pitcher.

The other problem is that we are talking about four starts. Sure, they were bad starts, but the only number that jumps out in these four starts that is different than in the past is the 1.9 home runs allowed per 9 innings. His walks per 9 innings are slightly up, but his strikeouts per 9 innings are really up. Those numbers should balance out to something similar to last year's numbers and his home run rate should also go down.

Relief pitchers are a dime a dozen--unless they are Mariano Rivera and a couple others. They struggle, they dominate and ultimately they are replaceable. They shouldn't be making $91.5 million. As long as Zambrano, who never deserved that contract to begin with, is one of the five best starting pitchers, the Cubs should throw him out there like the Giants did with Zito. And if he's not, look to trade him or just swallow some pride and try to buy out his contract.

Finally, here are a couple of links and tweets regarding the situation:

I read this Jack Moore story after writing my post and reading Rob Neyer's blog. Moore emphasizes the same points about Zambrano and brings in the Carlos Silva angle. Interesting enough Silva pitched 6 innings of 2 hit, 1 run, 2 walk and 4 strikeout baseball tonight against the New York Mets. Personally I would think Tom Gorzelanny would be the odd man out. But really, any start now Carlos Silva should turn back into Livan Hernandez.

Jonah Keri tweeted: "The Cubs are paying Lou Piniella $3.75 million/yr to decide that Carlos Silva deserves a starting job over Carlos Zambrano. That's special."

Dave Cameron tweeted: "Cubs moving Carlos Zambrano to bullpen, leaving Carlos Silva in rotation. #CarlosFail"

Keith Law tweeted: "Uh ... got nothin'. RT @sitrick2: @keithlaw Please, if possible, explain the logic of moving Zambrano to the bullpen."

And the best one. williamnyy23 tweeted: "@keithlaw It's obvious. The Cubs keep blowing leads, so Lou thinks it would be easier if the team never had any to begin with."

My First Kiss

2010-04-21T07:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't written a creative story since the spring of 2008 when I was still at ASU. I've been wanting to write a story about a first kiss because I thought it could be funny. When I was searching through my computer, I still have a folder saved for my old Web site that I had with about 20 other writes from back in 2007. I browsed through some of the stories, and well, I already wrote about this topic. Below is the story. A couple things to note: the original version was kinda skeleton-y, so I added some content. This has not been through any editing, so we're looking at rough draft material. But the message and humor is there. When someone kidnaps me and takes me to Flagstaff and I enroll in NAU's creative writing Master's program, I'll use this as part of a bigger piece that I will want to write chronicling awkward experiences.

Before I post the story, I should say that this is one of the rare completely creative stories that has no influence on me or anyone I know. My real first kiss resembled mouth-to-mouth resuscitation (I played the role of drowning swimmer) with the girl's dad catching us. I strangely miss those days. Anyway, on to the story!

I was totally unprepared for the voicemail greeting when I called that girl so I just hung up. Fortunately, she had caller ID, and she called me back. We had a good conversation, and we planned for a date that night to meet up at an outdoor mall.

Everything was moving so fast for me. I just got through the telephone call, and now I have to go on a date. Couldn’t I get a week to take a breath? I knew I needed some advice on dates, so I went over to my friend’s house for some consultation.

We sat at the kitchen table and went over everything. We discussed compliments, holding hands and the kiss. I wasn’t sure about the kiss. Obviously this being my first date meant that this would be my first kiss.

“How do I kiss?” I asked, slightly embarrassed by the unusual question.

“You look her in the eyes, you keep your mouth open a little, and you aim for her upper or lower lip,” he said.

“That’s it?” I asked.

“Yeah, and use your hands to make sure her face is positioned at the right angle,” he said.

“I have to use my hands?”

“Yeah, and you can also use your hands to maybe tug her hair or something.”

“Wow, I didn’t even know girls liked that.”

“Some girls do but don’t forget to use your tongue.”

“This is way too much for me to handle.”

“Then just go for a small open mouth kiss on her lips.”

“I think I can handle that.”

“And hey, if the date is going bad, excuse yourself and give me a call and I will call you back to save you.”

I left my friend’s house feeling really confident. I met my date at the mall. We decided to get some dinner first at this Italian restaurant--Fazoli’s.

“These breadsticks are amazing, right?” I asked.

“Yeah, I mean, they are buttery or something,” she said.

God this was awkward. I was thinking really hard for conversation topics, but she was no help. Hmm, legoes.

“You know, I always wanted to make a giant lego fort. Not to like live in, but to have in the backyard. Just kind of chill,” I said.

“Would you have a bed or kitchen?” she asked.

“No, but I think I would have a desk. It could be my area where I would do a lot of writing: journal writing and maybe greeting card writing.”

“People still write greeting cards?” she asked.

“Oh, of course. Who doesn’t like getting something in a carnation colored envelope? Man, so you gotta check this out. I wrote a birthday card to a female friend in felt-tip pen last week. The ink ran so much that the wrong message was written.”

“That’s funny. I need to go use the bathroom”

Why do people say that’s funny when they don’t laugh? Anyway, I used this opportunity to call my friend for some last minute advice.

“Hey, I think the date is going well,” I said.

“Great! Now take her to that fireplace area and give her a kiss,” he said.

“I think I might tug her hair.”

“Umm, okay.”

I hung up the phone, and she returned a couple minutes later. I took her on a walk to the fireplace area. I was thinking about all the advice my friend gave me. Suddenly, we were standing in front of the fireplace looking at each other.

I looked into her eyes, and all my worries went away. I felt confident, like I’ve been there before. I leaned in. This was going to be magical. I parted my lips a little. This was going to be my first kiss! And her cell phone rang.

R. Ortiz is in the game

2010-04-18T13:37:00.001-07:00

I had a new game: it was called figure out which R. Ortiz is pitching for the Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles. How it was played was I would go on my blackberry and check out the Dodgers box scores. When checking out the box scores, the blackberry wouldn't have their full name (both pitchers were labeled R. Ortiz), thus giving the suspense. Since Joe Torre seemingly loves using the same relief pitchers every game, there would be at least one R. Ortiz (maybe both) pitching. I had to guess which R. Ortiz played. It was fun. Sadly, that game is now over. The Dodgers designated Russ Ortiz for assignment.

The Mustached GM never fails to amaze me. He signed Russ Ortiz and Ramon Ortiz. What does The Mustached GM* like about these guys?

Russ Ortiz got the game ball during a World Series (despite the Giants losing the game in the end). He also won 21 games in a year and playing in an All-Star game. And he turns 36 years old this season.

Ramon Ortiz has a less impressive resume. He did actually win a World Series ring. In fact, Ramon's Angels played Russ's Giants in 2002. He won 15 and 16 games in back to back years in 2002 and 2003. He turns 37 years old this season.

Anyone who actually went to baseball-reference would predict that these were horrible signings. Russ Ortiz has a career 1.39 so/bb line, and he hasn't been adequate since his overrated 2003 season, in which he finished 4th in Cy Young balloting despite 4.3 bb/9 and meh 6/3 so/9 lines. Ramon Ortiz hadn't pitched since the 2007 season. He has a career 1.82 so/bb line, and he hasn't been adequate since 2002--his only okay season. Even in that year, he served up a league high 40 home runs to average 1.7 hr/9.

Of course it's not surprising that these two pitchers have struggled so far. Take a glance at Russ Ortiz's box score and Ramon Ortiz's box score. I was hoping that this game would last until at least the All-Star break, but even the Dodgers figured out that Russ Ortiz was horrible. When will they figure out that Ramon Ortiz is horrible?

*The Mustached GM also signed Garret Anderson

What does The Mustached GM like about Garret Anderson?

Anderson was a three time All-Star, won a home run derby, won a World Series with Ramon Ortiz in 2002 and he turns 38 years old this season.

Of course he is a guy who has never been a great on base guy. On top of that, he has little power these days. He hasn't been a good hitter since 2003. Any guess how this one will turn out?

Analyzing the Milton Bradley and Carlos Silva Trade

2010-04-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

When the Seattle Mariners traded never-used overpaid starting pitcher Carlos Silva to the Chicago Cubs for troubled, kinda underachieving but talented Milton Bradley, I thought Jack Z stole a solid hitter away from the Cubs.

I never had the opportunity to fully analyze the trade, but I did mention that as a positive move for Jack Z in my Jack Z vs. Brian Sabean piece. I didn't believe that Bradley would be playing left field a majority of the time with the Mariners as I thought he would be primarily a designated hitter with Ken Griffey Jr. playing the role of "face of the franchise" on the bench.

Due to injuries and ineffectiveness, Silva managed to pitch 183 2/3 innings in his two seasons with the Mariners. It's unfair to completely evaluate his 2009 season since he only pitched 30 1/3 innings, but 2008 was pretty bad. He struck out 4.1 batters per 9 innings, walked 1.9 batters per 9 innings and gave up 1.2 home runs per 9 innings. As a result, it shouldn't shock anyone that his ERA+ was 66 with a WHIP of 1.598. Perhaps his ERA of 6.69 was a little bloated due to bad fielding (remember they didn't put emphasis in fielding until 2009) as indicated by his FIP of 4.69, but let's face it, the guy wasn't worth more than $20 million he received in his two years with the Mariners.

The fact that they traded him at all, let alone, for a productive player was an amazing feat. They traded him for Milton Bradley, who was one year removed of leading the American League in OBP, OPS and OPS+. In 2009 Bradley was disappointing, relatively speaking, with the Cubs. With the Cubs, he had .257/.378/.397 slash stats. His power was down, but he was getting on base. Silva, in comparison, couldn't keep guys off base.

It was a steal for the Mariners.

In two starts and 13 innings pitched, Silva has a 0.69 ERA, 0 walks and 5.5 strikeouts per 9 innings.

In 11 games and 43 plate appearances, Bradley has .139/.279/.333 slash stats.

In two weeks, it's been a steal for the Cubs.

I'm posting this now because it looks bad. But ah, the power of small sample sizes. Keep in mind, that Silva pitched against the Houston Astros and Cincinnati Reds in his two starts. While Silva, who went from the American League to the National League, won't be as bad as he was in 2008 (even his FIP indicates he wasn't as bad), this will still end up being a trade in favor of the Mariners. Whether I'm right or wrong, I will write up another story at the end of the season. At this point, to be continued...

Preseason Predictions One Week Later

2010-04-12T20:40:00.001-07:00

I know I'm a good two weeks late to the party, but I did proclaim my preseason predictions and awards before the season started. I swear!

Even though it is one week into the season and my predictions look decent, it is after all, one week into the season. Way to be redundant and state the obvious, right? But it is safe to put these predictions out now because we have a long season ahead and, of course, anything bla bla can happen.

The American League playoff spots: New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Texas Rangers and Chicago White Sox. The National League playoff spots: Philadelphia Phillies, St. Louis Cardinals, Atlanta Braves and Arizona Diamondbacks. In the World Series, the Yankees will beat the Braves. My surprise AL team is the Oakland Athletics. In fact, I think they will be battling it out with the Rangers for the AL West crown. My surprise NL team is the Arizona Diamondbacks. They will go down to the wire with the Colorado Rockies. I feel that the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and Seattle Mariners will be disappointments in the American League as well as the Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles and the San Francisco Giants will disappoint in the National League.

Awards:

AL Cy Young: Justin Verlander

NL Cy Young: Roy Halladay

AL MVP: Joe Mauer

NL MVP: Chase Utley

AL ROY: Brian Matusz

NL ROY: Jason Heyward

So far, the A's and Rangers are good. The Giants and Diamondbacks are good while the Dodgers are not good. The Blue Jays have a nice record, but it is not sustainable. The Red Sox and Yankees had to play each other so their records aren't indicative of their talent. The big thing that has caught my eye is how bad the Angels and Mariners have started this season. Again, one week in and things will look very different. It's not that I thought these teams would lose 90 games necessarily. The AL West shapes up to be a very competitive division with all four teams hovering around the 80 win mark. My thing is many experts and/or fans predicted those two teams to be on top because: the Angels always win and the Mariners had a great year and a good offseason.

Last year, the Mariners were 85-77. Look closely though. They scored 640 runs and allowed 692 runs. Yes, they had a nice record and added Cliff Lee, Chone Figgins and a bunch of platoon-type players, but those additions aren't being added to an "85 win" team. For a team that is built around solid defense, they have a designated hitter playing left field and a an old guy and a pinch hitter splitting time as designated hitters. The other thing is, Lee is out till May.

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim were a better team last year, but they lost ace John Lackey, Chone Figgins to rival Mariners and the corpse of Vladimir Guerrero to division rivals. In place, they get a full season of Scott Kazmir, Hideki Matsui, Joel Pinero and Fernando Rodney. Guerrero should be better as a Designated Hitter for the Texas Rangers and Matsui will be good in the Designated Hitter role for the Angels. The Angels should be right there with the Athletics and Rangers at the end of the season, but the Rangers are stacked at pitching and hitting. Figgins and Lackey were huge losses, and that will be the difference. When I say disappointment, I don't mean they will be awful. It will be disappointing that the Angels do not make the playoffs as the young, emerging Rangers overtake the Angels' division reign.

Barry Bonds Still a Free Agent

2010-04-11T17:54:00.000-07:00

In a year where the Seattle Mariners employ Ken Griffey Jr. and Mike Sweeney as Designated Hitters, fellow old slugger Barry Bonds remains a free agent.

ESPN posts an odd story that briefly glazes over the fact that Bonds isn't retired and highlights how "proud" Bonds is of Mark McGwire and his steroids admission.

Whatever Bonds did or didn't do, he still was a great hitter the last year he played. A quick glance at his stats:

2007: .276/.480/.565 in 126 games

2006: .270/.454/.545 in 130 games

I get that he hasn't played the last two seasons, but why was he unemployed the last two seasons? He was still getting on base and mashing the ball.

For comparison, here are Ken Griffey Jr.'s slash stats:

2009: .214/.324/.411 in 117 games

2008: .249/.353/.424 in 143 games

For those who say that this is a steroid thing, keep in mind that Jason Giambi and Gregg Zaun are still employed.

The Difference Between Jack Z and Brian Sabean

2010-02-02T21:07:00.000-08:00

The Seattle Mariners signed Eric Byrnes to a one year $400,000 deal last week. In this post, I made a snarky comment that San Francisco Giants GM Brian Sabean would foolishly sign Byrnes to a two year contract with a third year player option. Why am I now praising Mariners GM Jack Z for this signing when I would have trashed Sabean for the same signing?

It's definitely not for Eric Byrnes' stats. Over the last two injury plagued season, he didn't post an OBP greater than .272. In fact, he's had two other seasons where he didn't reach base more than 30% of the time. The thing about this signing, the Ryan Garko signing, the Milton Bradley trade and other signings is that the Mariners are acquiring okay production on the cheap. This okay production should lead to some nice, inexpensive platoons.

Sabean, on the other hand, signs Edgar Renteria, signs Aaron Rowand, signs Aubrey Huff and sign sMark DeRosa on the not-so-cheap and expects those players to be the stars of their position. Rowand and Renteria have not produced at the rate they are being paid, and I don't expect Huff and DeRosa to either.*

Back to the original question: Why am I now praising Mariners GM Jack Z for this signing when I would have trashed Sabean for the same signing?

Answer: Z brings in the same type of players that Sabean brings in. Z pays them much less than Sabean. Z does not throw all of his dice at said players. Instead, he creates depth and competition. Z is brilliant, Sabean is not.

*I tried to not make this so easy, but we can't forget this contract.

Ken Griffey Keeps Clean Legacy With Injuries

2010-01-28T20:02:00.000-08:00

Ken Griffey Jr. is ready and ripped for this season. On a personal level, I do want him to succeed. I'm not going to analyze his season last year or his projections for this year. One thing that caught my eye, however, was this comment from crazyjdawg91 in the comments section:

"and just think if, he had stooped to the level of AFraud, Barroid, and McWired, who knows how many fewer injuries he would have had and how many home runs he would have had. Kudos for Griffey keeping his legacy clean and place in baseball history intact."

According to crazyjdawg91, Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire were bad people because they took steroids to stay on the field.* He would rather see superstar Ken Griffey Jr. on the disabled list than on steroids and out on the field producing and helping his team. Interesting logic...

*While I appreciate McGwire admitting steroid usage, I don't buy that he took steroids to stay on the field. That doesn't make sense to me. I would think that he should be going to a doctor to get treatment and not receiving treatment from a gym spotter.

The Yankees Waste $2 million on Randy Winn

2010-01-27T20:38:00.000-08:00

The New York Yankees signed Randy Winn to platoon with Brett Gardner and replace Johnny Damon. Certainly one year of Randy Winn is better than three years of Johnny Damon, but zero years of Randy Winn is better than one year of Randy Winn.

Sure, the Yankees can afford to throw away $2 million, but this is the day of making good moves. Jack Z! That is, unless you are Dayton Moore, Omar Minaya, Ned "The Mustached GM" Coletti or Brian Sabean. (If you click on the link, you get to see one bad move they made this off season). Let's put it this way: Randy Winn was so bad last year that even Sabian wouldn't sign him.

Rob Neyer does a good job outlining the bad of this trade. Here are the key points from his article:

"...He's been almost exactly league-average, as a hitter, in his career, and at (almost) 36 he's not going to suddenly become better than average. So there's your baseline: Slightly below average."

He then adds:

"Unfortunately, it is might slightly more than slightly. Winn's spent the last four seasons in the National League. Two of those seasons were slightly better than average, two were substantially worse. He's older and he's moving to the tougher league and he's leaving a good hitter's park for one that is good for power hitters . . . and Winn's not a power hitter."

Winn was ridiculously bad last year with split stats of .262/.318/.353 and a 75 OPS+. At 35, he was starting his downhill trend. He has never been a superstar and has posted two good hitting seasons in his career. As an everyday outfielder, there is no hope for him to be average, and it is more likely that the atrocious numbers would, at best, replicate. He's not going to be an everyday outfielder. Can the partnership work?

Well, last year Damon .282/.365/.489 line with a 126 OPS+. Winn's really bad hitting stats came against left-handed pitching. Against right-handed pitching, Winn had a .292/.354/.397 line. Gardner overall was .270/.345/.379 and a 93 OPS+. Against left-handed pitching he hit .291/.381/.400. Looks nice, but then you realize that was in only 65 plate appearances.

You're looking at a very weak hitting left field spot with okay on base skills. They won't be able to replace Damon, but one year of below average play in left field is better than overpaying for a few years in Damon, who is not exactly a spring chicken. Besides, the Yankees are going after Carl Crawford next year, right? In the meantime, this signing looks pretty pointless. Might as well just let Gardner play full time.

Ed Wade Does Not Sign Miguel Tejada

2010-01-24T21:41:00.000-08:00

In a surprising move, Houston Astros General Manager Ed Wade does not sign Miguel Tejada to a ten year extension. Finally Wade does something smart. Instead, the Baltimore Orioles bring back Tejada for one year at $6 million.

I get that Tejada will be a body to hold down third base until prospect Josh Bell takes over. I would also get this move if Tejada was signed for $1 million because if he somehow puts up okay numbers, he could be flipped for a B+ prospect. Hey, maybe the Los Angeles Dodgers, whom I am shocked didn't sign Tejada to a multi-year deal to begin with, would trade another nice prospect, a la Josh Bell. At $6 million, even at one year, it just seems like a waste of money. Who else wanted to sign him?

With the Houston Astros, where Tejada aged two years in one year, he put up horrible numbers. Don't let the two all-star appearances and the .313 batting average and 86 RBI fool you, like it fooled Orioles General Manager Andy MacPhail. Last year, he put up a 109 OPS+ and posted a 92 OPS+ the year before. In 2008, he had a .314 OBP, but he did improve to a .340 OBP last year. So last year, he had a .313 batting average and a .340 OBP. So we know that his on base skills are batting average heavy these days. He has a career .289 batting average, which is only .006 points above his 2008 batting average. What does this mean? It means that he is unlikely to post a .340 on base percentage at age 36 in the American League East. He will probably put up numbers closer to his 2008 rate stats.

If I was Chris Berman, I would nickname Andy MacPhail, Andy Mac-Epic-Phail. This signing, as it stands, looks bad, but if Casey Blake goes down for the Los Angeles Dodgers, I think MacPhail might be able to get another prospect from the Dodgers...

Vinny Del Negro Still Coaching the Chicago Bulls

2010-01-24T08:37:00.000-08:00

On December 28, 2009, ESPN reporter Chris Broussard posted this story on its Web site declaring that the Chicago Bulls have already decided on firing head coach Vinny Del Negro. The announcement was not made because they were waiting on a head coach. Today is January 24, 2010, and Vinny Del Negro is still the head coach of the Chicago Bulls.

Look, I'm not saying that what Broussard reported was false. The problem is, whatever happened (if anything), the writer wrote a story insinuating that Del Negro was gone, and almost a month later, he's still drawing up plays.

This is one of the problems with sports reporting. There is too much reporting on rumors than actual events. This is a huge example, obviously, but it happens all the time. Last year on the trade deadline, ESPN had a big banner speculating that the Phoenix Suns were going to trade Shaquille O'Neal to the Cleveland Cavaliers. When I saw that, I emailed my contact with the Suns to see if that was true. She replied back within five minutes saying that there was no truth to it at all. At the end of the day, O'Neal was still in a Suns uniform.

Currently, there are reports that Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner is leaning towards retirement. Is it bad to actually wait until he makes a decision?

When Using the Word FEAR Goes Wrong

2010-01-18T19:39:00.000-08:00

A quick hit:

I just linked to a story where Eric Byrnes has interest in playing for the San Francisco Giants. I only cared about the first part since it was relative to the post. I read a little bit further and found this wonderful quote from Randy Winn about Aubrey Huff:

"This is a tough park to be a home-run hitter, to put up 30, 40 home runs, but I think he can hit 20 home runs and, more importantly, be a feared RBI guy," Winn said. "I think that's more important. I know he didn't have a good year last year, but he's been a guy who's driven in 100 runs."

First off, I don't expect Winn to know that RBI is a stupid stat to measure a hitter. But feared RBI guy? Aubrey Huff? You want Aubrey Huff to be a feared RBI guy? Even Jim Rice and Andre Dawson are laughing. Can I start the Aubrey Huff hall of fame campaign now?

Well, let's take a look at Aubrey Huff, Hall of Fear career:

The Slash Stats: .282/.340/.472 with a 113 OPS+

Last Four Seasons OPS+: 81, 137, 103 and 108

Huff is a guy who will start the season at 33 and coming off an 81 OPS+ and a .310 OBP. Granted, he shouldn't be as bad as those numbers, but it would be absurd to think he will have a 137 OPS+ season. The Giants are getting an average hitter. Average hitters are not feared.

The D-Backs Young, Awesome Outfield

2010-01-18T18:58:00.000-08:00

The Arizona Diamondbacks agreed to terms with first baseman Adam LaRoche. Ho hum. Until you realize that this move did two things: Conor Jackson will move to left field, and the Diamondbacks released left fielder Eric Byrnes.

LaRoche is an offensive upgrade over Jackson. The last four seasons, LaRoche has put up a 122, 122, 109 and 130 OPS+ with an on base percentage of .355, .341, .345 and .354. LaRoche is 30 years old and his peak years are behind him, but he is by no means an old man. It would not be far fetched to say that he will contribute 20 home runs and a .350 OBP. If the Diamondbacks can find a decent platoon partner to hit the left handed pitchers, they might have a real force at first base. Check out LaRoche's numbers versus right handed pitchers.

Jackson gets on base more than LaRoche, but he has less pop. He will move to left field in place of Byrnes and whoever else they trotted out there last year. Jackson was injured last year, but the three seasons prior, he sported a 109, 109 and 103 OPS+ and got on base at a .376, .368 and .368 clip. He figures to only improve on those numbers as he enters his prime years. Since Byrnes signed that big three year contract after the very nice 2007 season, he did not have an OBP higher than .272 or an OPS+ of 67. Incredible. He was also injured, which was unfortunately his best offensive contribution.

Jackson turns 28 this year, and easily the Diamondbacks have a very nice, young outfield. In addition to Jackson, the disappointing but entering his peak Chris Young will play center field and the breakout MVP candidate Justin Upton will play right field. If Young is going to have a future in this game, this will be the year he shows his talent. He will start the year at 26. So far, he has proven that he can take a walk, but he can't make much contact with the ball. When he was a rookie and made contact with the ball, he was hitting moonshots. His home runs have dropped from 32 to 22 to 15 in each of the last three years. Upton was an emerging super duper star with slash stats of .300/.366/.532. Those numbers are great, but he hasn't even tapped into his awesomeness. He will only be 22 years old to start the season, and you can only expect those numbers to go up each year.

And if this is true, the LaRoche signing has added a whole new level of awesomeness. So the Diamondbacks get rid of Byrnes AND he goes to the division rival San Francisco Giants? Sure, at this point, the interest is one-sided, but you know if GM Brian Sabean picks up the paper and sees that column, he will begin to draft a two year contract with a player option third year.

Men's Fashion: Glowing on the Dance Floor

2010-01-18T11:36:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I was online window shopping. I checked out the usual sites, read through some blogs--not looking for ideas--but looking for links, brands and stores I've never seen.

One of my favorite places to buy t-shirts is Express because they are comfortable, look nice and are usually at a decent price* When looking at the latest designs, I saw a Black Light Graphic Tee. Oh no! For as much as I like the graphic t-shirt for wearing around the house, complimenting layers or wearing out when I'm wanting to scrub it, it has made the new-age man lazy. You see herds of men wearing the latest $120.00 Ed Hardy t-shirt (or $60.00 on sale Ed Hardy t-shirt for the men making $30K a year or less). It's like they think that buying an expensive vibrant colored t-shirt is fashion** It's not.

I have a feeling that the glow-in-the-dark t-shirt will be popping up at clubs everywhere. It is another lazy fashion idea. The good news is now it will be easier to spot the tool.

*Express used to sell t-shirts for $20.00. With increased demand, they have increased the price to $30.00. Sometimes they will have gimmicks like buy one, get the second half off. While I appreciate the business side of it, I have a hard time spending more than $25.00 for a standard t-shirt. There are lots of other sites and stores that sell quality t-shirts in the $15.00 to $20.00 range.

**I like Ed Hardy's use of colors and think if worn correctly can really make your attire pop. The problem is most people I see just wear the t-shirt. The colors really need to be worn in layers--blacks and grays. My other problem is I just can't see how spending more than $50.00 (let alone $30.00) and up to $125.00 for a t-shirt is a good value.

Mark McGwire Apologizes His Way to a Hall of Fame Case

2010-01-17T08:19:00.000-08:00

I don't know if you heard, but Mark McGwire, admitted taking steroids, apologized and gave a nice detailed history of his use. First off, before I go further, does anyone else find it funny that Jose Canseco is as the number one similar batter. Anyway. Apparently the admission and apology raised some eye brows and opened the book for his hall of fame case. Regardless of use, do his numbers merit an induction to the hall of fame? There are three areas where one can excel as a non pitcher baseball player: defense, hitting and base running.

Defense:

Like Andre Dawson in the previous post, we have to go by "what they say" in regards to defense because the advanced measures are nonexistent. He won one Gold Glove in 1990 and was considered an average defensive first baseman.

Base Running:

McGwire stole 12 bases and was caught stealing eight times in his career.

Offense:

We already knew going into building McGwire's hall of fame case that defense and base running were not going to be favorable points. His non home run counting stats would make a hyper kid on a pixie rush yawn. 7,660 plate appearances, 1,626 hits, 252 doubles and 6 triples. You look at the hits and think, "Well, so what if he had 582 home runs. He's another Dave Kingman."

But is he?

I left out one key non home run counting stat. He walked 1,317 times. In 7,429 plate appearances, Kingman had 1,575 hits and walked 608 times.

McGwire is no Kingman. Of course we don't look at counting stats for building a case. I brought them up to diffuse the argument that he didn't get enough hits and was only a home run hitter. The big three rate stats: .263/.394/.588 for a 162 OPS+--62% above the average hitter during his time. As a hitter--and I stress hitter--the recently elected Andre Dawson had a 119 OPS+ for his career.

The more traditional slash stats and the home run and walk counting stats are hall of fame numbers. If you look a little deeper and look at some more advanced stats, you will see he had a career WARP of 69.5--meaning he was 69.5 wins better than a replacement player.

For good measure, I will finally take a look at the seasons McGwire did not admit steroid use. From the story, "He said he first used steroids between the 1989 and 1990 seasons, after helping the Athletics to a World Series sweep when he and Jose Canseco formed the Bash Brothers." Let's assume that he is telling the truth and 1987, 1988 and 1989 are his only clean seasons. What kind of hitter was he then? He hit a rookie record 49 home runs in 1987 and then followed that up with 32 and 33 home run seasons. Okay, we know the guy can mash. He had seasons of 164 OPS+, 134 OPS+ and 129 OPS+. He did have a very disappointing .339 OBP in 1989. Still, those seasons do not give indication that he was a scrub.

The Fear:

I think it's funny that Jim Rice and Andre Dawson's campaigns were built around fear instead of actual numbers. Let's just use that subjective word and put it on McGwire. Would it be fitting? McGwires 162 game average for the, what I would consider, fearsome stats is 50 home runs and 114 walks. Jim Rice's 162 game average in the fearsome stats are 30 home runs and 52 walks. Dawson's 162 game average for fearsome stats is 27 home runs and, gulp, 36 walks. I know, different eras, used counting stats, etc. But if people are going to build a player's case around fear, that's no different than me coming up with my own definition of fear.

The Verdict:

Mark McGwire is not getting in the hall of fame on defense and base running, and as a first base man, that's not necessary. The question is, was he a hall of fame hitter? At first glance, there's an argument against his hit totals. That argument is killed based on the number of walks. Most times when he got a hit, he made the most of it: 589 home runs. The rate stats tell the story of a hall of famer. His slugging and getting on base skills made him 62% better than the average player. It's not like the man was average in his early years. He is clearly a hall of famer.

The Fall Out:

The big question is: will writers vote for him now that he has admitted and apologized to steroid use? My question: why does that matter? This isn't the hall of fame of honesty and fake tears. I think that a few more voters will check his name, but it will be years until he even has a chance. It might be a case where McGwire is on the ballot for the 12th year, and a St. Louis columnist starts a FEAR campaign while other voters jump on board. While probably appropriate, sometimes all it takes to make it to the hall of fame is a strong verb.

Andre Dawson Elected to the Hall of Making Outs

2010-01-07T12:01:00.000-08:00

Andre Dawson was the only member to be enshrined into the baseball Hall of Fame yesterday leaving behind seven more deserving baseball players.

For Dawson, I do not believe he is a hall of famer, but I at least get his case unlike last year's inductee, Jim Rice. Baseball players have three areas to excel: offense, defense and base running.

Defense:

Dawson has eight gold gloves. What does that mean? It means he was probably a good or great defensive player for some of the earlier seasons. As people often write, the horrible turf in Montreal took a toll on his knees and ruined his great defensive range. I will buy that because after 1983, he did not steal more than 20 bases in a season (more on that in a second). Four of his eight gold gloves came after 1983, which were likely due to reputation--see Rafael Palmeiro winning a gold glove in 1999 despite playing 28 games on the field. Unfortunately, we don't have much to go by statistically.

Base Running:

Much like defense, Dawson put up some nice stolen base numbers early in his career. Overall, he had 314 stolen bases and 109 caught stealing. He was successful stealing bases 74% of the time. After 1983, however, he was a non threat on the base paths, topping off at 18 stolen bases in 1986.

Offense:

Dawson ended up with nice career counting stats. He had 2,774 hits, 503 doubles, 98 triples and 438 home runs. Dawson's slash stats are .279/.323/.482. He had a career OPS+ or 119, but posted an OPS+ of 122 in 11 seasons with Montreal Expos and an OPS+ 125 in six seasons with the Chicago Cubs.

The Fear:

Jim Rice was selected to the Hall of Fame last year based on the notion of fear. Instead of hearing logical reasons for his candidacy (there weren't many), voters started campaigning his ability to strike fear into opposing pitchers. Recently, I have seen articles about Andre Dawson being a feared hitter.

The Verdict:

Dawson is one of the rare baseball players who has a nice slugging percentage but could not get on base. His on base percentage is anorexic to say the least. Lou Brock had the previous low for on base percentage for an outfielder at .343. Dawson is .020 lower! Let's flip that around and say that for every time he went to the plate, he made an out 67.7% of the time. On base percentage is all about not making outs, which is the objective 99% of the time when a batter is at the plate. Not making outs is done two ways, taking a walk or getting a hit. When he did get a hit, he made it super productive, but he just didn't get enough hits to make his overall production hall of fame worthy. Dawson put up some nice stolen base numbers early in his career and persumably had a few years of good to great defense mixed in with some, most likely, average to below average years. Considering the fact that he played in the outfield and not shortstop, second base, third base or catcher, I would not have elected him into the Hall of Fame. With everything considered, he is one of those guys that is borderline, however, when the border was moved south last year because of Rice, he is someone who makes it.

The Fall Out:

Even though I would not use my pretend vote on Dawson, I can see the argument because he did some really good things. The thing that strikes me is that there were other candidates who were much better. If I was told that only one person made the Hall of Fame this year, I would have said, "Oh, Roberto Alomar." If I were told to keep guessing, I would have thought Bert Blyleven, Tim Raines, Mark McGwire, Barry Larkin or Edgar Martinez. I think all six are clearly hall of famers, though, I can see arguments against McGwire, Larkin and Martinez. I do not understand how Dawson stood out against those six candidates. Voters seem to be voting on stupid stuff like FEAR instead of actual performance. Actual performance is what drives fear, right? With Rice and to a lesser extent Dawson making Cooperstown on FEAR, this should bode well for another FEARSOME but not hall of fame worthy, Jack Morris.

The other thing is that yes, Dawson is much better than Rice. If we are to say that Rice is a hall of famer, then Dawson is a hall of famer. If Rice and Dawson are hall of famers, then so are Dale Murphy, Dwight Evans, Darrell Evans, Albert Belle, Dave Parker and others in that same mix. Dwight and Darrell Evans and Belle are not on the ballots. Parker and Murphy both received less than 20% of the vote. What makes Dawson (and definitely Rice) better than Parker and Murphy?

Baseball Headlines Going into Day One, Game One

2009-10-07T11:53:00.000-07:00

Today marks the first set of games for the Major League Baseball playoffs. Besides watching great games, there are a few things I will be looking for.

Rockies vs. Phillies

This one is too obvious. Will the Phillies use Brad Lidge?

If Charlie Manuel uses Brad Lidge in any meaningful situation at all, the game will be really interesting. We're talking high probability of walk-off action interesting. The Phillies will have to be down ten runs in the ninth inning to make me feel like, yeah, okay, Lidge can pitch. We know about the blown saves and the 7.21 ERA. The reason why he has the blown saves and high ERA are the result of three things. He strikes out 9.4 batters per nine innings (nothing wrong with that), but that is down from a career of striking out 12.1 batters per nine innings. He walks 5.2 batters per nine innings, which is up from walking 4.1 batters per nine innings. He is giving up 1.7 homeruns per nine innings, which is up from a career of giving up 0.9 homeruns per nine innings and way up from last year where he gave up 0.3 homeruns per nine innings. This tells me that he has some control problems and has lost some "stuff."

Cardinals vs. Dodgers

Which manager will micromanage their bullpen to the detriment of their team?

Joe Torre likes using relief pitchers. Jonathan Broxton has pitched in 68 games, Ronald Belisario in 66 games, Ramon Troncoso in 68 games, Guillermo Moto in 58 games, James McDonald in 44 games, the oft-injured Hong-Chih Kuo in 35 games. The mustached GM even traded for George Sherrill so Torre can use him in 30 games with the Dodgers. In fact, the Dodgers have used 25 different pitchers this year. Picked up Eric Milton for some games, signed Jeff Weaver, traded for Jon Garland and Vicente Padilla. He even used infielder Mark Loretta for a game. Even more telling, not one Dodgers starting pitcher threw a complete game.

For this game, I am not opposed to Torre going to the bullpen considering Randy Wolf is pitching in game one. Yes, Wolf has had a good season, but he is far from a dominating pitcher. At 32, he has pitched far better than the previous three seasons. The biggest difference is that he has cut down on the walks. He is averaging 2.4 walks per nine innings this year. The last two seasons, he averaged 3.4 walks per nine innings and he has a career average of 3.2 walks per nine innings. While he is walking less, he is striking out less. This year he is 6.7 batters per nine innings. The last two seasons, he struck out 7.7 batters per nine innings and 8.2 batters per nine innings. For his career, he has struck out 7.4 batters per nine innings.

Wolf is a solid number four pitcher starting the opening game in the series against the Cardinals. Should the series go five games, he will pitch, gulp, two games. Torre should use his awesome relief pitchers frequently for this game, but did he burn out those awesome arms from overuse in the regular season? I'm going to say no because The Mustached GM did keep acquiring more arms as the season went on.

Tony LaRussa has allowed his starting pitchers to pitch more innings and deeper into the game than Torre. And he should. LaRussa has two legitimate aces in Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright. LaRussa has used 20 different pitchers this season with five of them pitching in more than 60 games and two of those pitching in more than 70 games. Here's the thing though. If Carpenter and Wainwright are still going strong after eight innings and are not tired, will he relieve them for Ryan Franklin? Don't let the 38 saves and 1.92 ERA fool you. He's not very good. He strikes out 6.5 batters per nine innings and walks 3.5 innings per nine innings. This means that if the game is close and he is pitching, we're in for a great finish.

Twins vs Yankees

A-Rod and CC. The Yankees should win, but the teams that should win don't always win. Usually when the team that should win and doesn't win, it's because the other team has more heart and character which is stupid reasoning. If the Twins win tonight and Alex Rodriguez goes 0 for 4 and CC Sabathia gives up 4 in 5 innings, I can predict a columnists story:

-The gritty gutty Twins with no quit beat the $200 million Yankees. Stealing bases, getting dirty, diving for balls, the Twins trump the Yankees. The unclutch Alex Rodriguez did his part by going 0 for 4 with a strikeout in the 8th inning while CC Sabathia lasted 5 innings and gave up 4 earned runs. Dot dot dot...-

Smart people realize that we're talking about extremely small sample sizes. It's not about heart. Most baseball players have heart. It's not about clutch. Most players perform the same in the first inning as they do in the ninth inning. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. A-Rod and CC need to have a big game to prevent the dull columns from happening.

Tim Lincecum Deserves the National League Cy Young award

2009-10-07T10:34:00.000-07:00

I wrote about Chris Carpenter's one-hitter in early September a day after I predicted Tim Lincecum as your NL Cy Young award winner. In the end, I concluded that while Carpenter is similar to Lincecum and deserves a closer look, Lincecum had pitched more innings.

Today, Lincecum and Carpenter still have similar rate stats, but Lincecum has 32.2 more innings pitched on the year. Lincecum and Carpenter appear to be the front runners with Adam Wainwright standing just behind, but Dan Haren and Javier Vazquez are right there. Who is the best pitcher in the National League? Let's parse through the numbers.

Chris Carpenter:

192.2 innings, 185 ERA+, 1.007 WHIP, 0.3 hr/9, 1.8 bb/9, 6.7 so/9, 3.79 so/bb

Tim Lincecum

225.1 innings, 173 ERA+, 1.047 WHIP, 0.4 hr/9, 2.7 bb/9, 10.5 so/9, 3.84 so/bb

Adam Wainwright

233 innings, 158 ERA+, 1.210 WHIP, 0.7 hr/9, 2.5 bb/9, 8.2 so/9, 3.21 so/bb

Javier Vazquez

219.1 innings, 145 ERA+, 1.026 WHIP, 0.8 hr/9, 1.8 bb/9, 9.8 so/9, 5.41 so/9

Dan Haren

229.1 innings, 143 ERA+, 1.003 WHIP, 1.1 hr/9, 1.5 bb/9, 8.8 so/9, 5.87 so/9

Finally, here are the VORP rankings:

Tim Lincecum, Chris Carpenter, Adam Wainwright, Dan Haren and Javier Vazquez

Looking at the five pitchers before checking out the final stats, that was the order I was thinking. All five pitchers are legitimate candidates and the differences are minute. While VORP is not the end all stat, it is clear that Lincecum and Carpenter are the two best pitchers in the national league. Haren and Vazquez have the best so/bb stats, but they give up the homerun at a much higher rate than Lincecum and Carpenter. Lincecum strikes out more than Haren and Vazquez so less balls are in play and minimizes the damage when he gives up the walks. After parsing through the numbers, my order has changed slightly.

My ranking: Tim Lincecum, Chris Carpenter, Dan Haren, Javier Vazquez, Adam Wainwright

Haren, Carpenter and Vazquez can rank in any order between second place and fourth place while Lincecum is the best and Wainwright is the fifth best. As said in the opening and back in September, Lincecum has done what Carpenter has done but has done it in more innings. And I am now done.

Chris Carpenter Pitches A One-Hitter

2009-09-07T13:30:00.000-07:00

A day after I wrote about your Cy Young winners, Chris Carpenter pitches a one hitter in a complete game shutout win against the Milwaukee Brewers.

Since the game just finished, the stats aren't quite up to date. The rate stats do not include today's game But let's go with what we got.

Carpenter has a 0.97 WHIP compared to Lincecum's 1.02 WHIP. Carpenter and Lincecum are virtually equal in strikeouts per walk ratio. While Lincecum averages more strikeouts per 9 innings, Carpenter issues less walks per 9 innings. Lincecum has 4 complete games and 2 shutouts and Carpenter has 3 complete games and 1 shut out. Essentially that's a wash because one more dominating game doesn't make or break a case. Also, there have been times where Carpenter has gone eight innings and given up zero runs. There have also been times when Lincecum has gone eight innings and given up zero runs. Lincecum has an ERA+ of 184 and Carpenter has an ERA+ of 183. Essentially they are the same pitcher.

Lincecum is having the better season because he has started 28 games and pitched 200 1/3 innings; whereas, Carpenter has started 24 games and pitched 166 2/3 innings. Lincecum has done what Carpenter has done and has done it 33 2/3 innings more. Unless Lincecum completely melts down and Carpenter maintains the same pace, Lincecum should win the NL Cy Young award. At least Carpenter, with another dominating performance, has made things interesting down the stretch. If they both maintain their projection and Carpenter has that sparkling record, let's hope that the voters don't mess things up and rob Lincecum...

A Look At Your Cy Young Award Winners

2009-09-06T19:13:00.000-07:00

Barring a monstrous September meltdown, your AL Cy Young award winner will be Zack Greinke and your NL Cy Young award winner will be Tim Lincecum.

Let's check the stats:

Zack Greinke

197 ERA+

1.08 WHIP

1.9 BB/9

9.5 K/9

5 K/BB

6 Complete Games

3 Shut Outs

Tim Lincecum

184 ERA+

1.02 WHIP

2.5 BB/9

10.5 K/9

4.24 K/BB

4 Complete Games

2 Shut Outs

It's interesting how similar these two pitchers are stat-wise. Zack Greinke is the best pitcher in baseball. Tim Lincecum is probably the second best pitcher in baseball. Let's check back at the end of the season and see how they end up.

The National League Designated Hitter

2009-09-03T11:52:00.000-07:00

After writing about the Los Angeles Dodgers essentially trading for a Designated Hitter should they reach the World Series, I thought it would be fun to see the DH's the National League teams have trotted out in the two previous World Series appearances.

In Game 1 of the 2008 World Series, the Philadelphia Phillies trotted out Chris Coste. He played 98 games and had an on-base percentage of .325. Greg Dobbs started Game 2 of the series. While he got on base only 33.3% of the time, he did have some pop with a .491 slugging percentage in 128 games that year. Strangely, manager Charley Manuel pinch hit for Dobbs using the man with horrible slash stats, .217/.297/.297, Eric Bruntlett. What did Bruntlett do? Hit a home run of course!

To be fair, the Rays didn't pencil in a very good hitter in the DH spot for Game 1. Willy Aybar That said, his splits against left-handed pitchers aren't bad. He had slash stats of .266/.350/.444 against the lefties. Lefty Cole Hamels started Game 1 for the Phillies.

To be even fairer, Coste's splits against lefties (and the starting pitcher was lefty Scott Kazmir) was a nice .296/.363/.519. However, taking that into context, he had 92 plate appearances against left-handed pitchers, and we're talking about a 36 year old who didn't make his first big league appearance until he was 33.

Cliff Floyd started Game 2 for the Rays. He hit a 109 OPS+ and sported a .349 OBP. Ho-hum, but at least he hit above average.

The odd thing about the Phillies is that they had a Designated Hitter, who happened to be playing left field. Pat Burrell is a good hitter and a horrible fielder. Why didn't they play Burrell at DH?

Ryan Spilborghs started Game 1 and Game 2 of the World Series for the Colorado Rockies in 2007. He had a 111 OPS+ that year, so he certainly is at least an above average hitter.

The DH for the Red Sox was David Ortiz. He was fourth in MVP voting and had a 171 OPS+. He also led the league in on-base percentage with a sparkling .445.

The Mustached GM Makes A Good Move

2009-09-02T19:08:00.000-07:00

Just in time, the Los Angeles Dodgers picked up Jim Thome in a salary dump trade with the Chicago White Sox. In the process, Dodgers GM Ned Colletti picks up a solid hitter off the bench while giving up nothing.

Wait. Hold on a second. I am complimenting Colletti for picking up another old past-his-prime player after writing a long story about all the bad signings and trades for old past-their-prime players during his tenure? In that story, I listed the bad players Colletti has acquired. Let's review:

Andruw Jones

Juan Pierre

Luis Gonzalez

Nomar Garciaparra

Jason Schmidt

Esteban Loaiza

Rafael Furcal

Casey Blake

Even the one player whom I applauded, has mixed results.

Yes, Jim Thome is JUST like all of those guys. Colletti has a knack for picking players off the 2001 All-Star team. So why do I like this move? Unlike the other signings, Thome is not playing every day and expected to be the center piece.

The main disadvantage for the National League against the American League is the Designated Hitter. Before picking up Thome, the Dodgers DH could have been:

Designated Pinch Runner Juan Pierre.

Mark Loretta and his 56 OPS+.

Brad Ausmus, who has played 30 games this season and has a career .325 On-Base Percentage.

You might as well just let the pitcher hit. Now, with Thome coming off the bench for pinch hit situations and penciled in the lineup as the DH should they make the World Series, the Dodgers have a more lethal lineup. While Thome isn't the 197 OPS+ hitter he was in 2002, his rate stats are a solid .249/.372/.493.

Of course, Colletti will ruin everything and sign Thome to a three year deal in the off season.

SABR MVP Voting

2009-07-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

Rob Neyer blogs a fun story about a MVP candidate telling a reporter that he will cut off communication if the reporter votes for a rival candidate.

Buster's reaction:

"A vote based purely on a Sabermetric analysis would have its pitfalls as well. There was one year when a star player told a couple of writers that he would never speak to them again if they voted for a certain rival on their ballots, a situation that threatened to undermine that team's clubhouse; and after confirming that appalling story, there's no way I would've ever voted for that player for M.V.P., a situation that a SABR-like approach would've never addressed."

That is a stupid and immature reaction from the star player, however, Buster essentially said that he wouldn't vote for that play because of his comments. If that player is the best player in the game, jerk or lovable, then he deserves to win the MVP award.

Also, when has an athlete said anything meaningful? Charles Barkley is the only athlete I can think of that you would want to get a quote after a sports game. What do athlete quotes add to a sports story? This is one of the reason people turn to blogs like deadspin because they have no access and don't suck up to athletes.

...interruption...

This parlays into another discussion. Ben Roethlisberger. Deadspin did a nice job discussing ESPN's Do Not Report policy on the Roethlisberger case. Well, until this. The speculation is that they don't want to lose his access. When has he said anything important? When has he commented on a game that was not full of sports cliches?

...interruption ended...

Back to the original post. Neyer throws out his guess of A-Rod or Junior. How about Kent or Bonds? Or maybe Kent AND Bonds? Personally, I think it would be awesome if it was Mark Lemke and Jeff Blauser.

McLouth trade addressed to Pirate season ticket holders via e-mail

2009-06-07T11:25:00.000-07:00

Espn.com has managed to get three days worth of stories out of the Nate McLouth trade.

Day one: the McLouth trade was worthy of front page material.

Day two: Pittsburgh Pirate players (who will most likely be dealt by the trading deadline) sounding off on the trade probably deserves a link in the MLB section.

Day three: the e-mail sent by Pirates general manager Neal Huntington to the season ticket holders should be on a Pirate season ticket holder's blogspot.

Of course I clicked on the link to read the ridiculousness so what do I know? On with the story:

From Huntington via the e-mail:

"I understand why some people, at first glance, may believe this move was financially motivated, but I can assure you that this was strictly a baseball decision. In fact, our owner, Bob Nutting, was as surprised as some of our fans when we sought his approval for this trade. I am grateful that he has the faith in me, our baseball operations staff and the processes we have in place to approve a move like this, despite the risk of public backlash on him personally and the organization as a whole."

Offensively McLouth is having a slightly above average season. His .345 on base percentage is a little bit above average but nowhere near elite status and his 114 OPS+ is good for a second baseman but okay-ish for an outfielder. His defense, on the other hand, is horrible. If you look at the plus/minus indicator from the fielding bible McLouth ranks dead last in fielding for center fielders from 2006 to 2008. This year, his UZR is a -.6, but he boasts a career of -26.6.

Now if you are the Atlanta Braves, this is a good-enough deal. Their outfield consists of a guy who doesn't believe in on base percentage because it isn't on the scoreboard, a 37 year old who has a 67 OPS+ and a a rookie who probably got promoted too soon Too lazy to click on links?

Jeff Francoeur: .249//275/.351 and a 65 OPS+

Garret Anderson: .248/.288/.355 and a 67 OPS+

Jordan Schafer: .204/.313/.287 and a 61 OPS+

Amazing that all three outfielders are more than 30% worse than an average outfielder at this point in the season.

Small sample size?

Jeff Francoeur career: .267/.309/.427 and a 90 OPS+

He's just really horrible. His best value is if a team is down one in the bottom of the 9th, he's a good bat off the bench because if he does somehow make contact with the ball, it has a chance to be an extra base hit.

Garret Anderson 2007: .297/.336/.492 and a 114 OPS+

Garret Anderson 2008: .293/.325/.433 and a 97 OPS+

With or without Nate McLouth, the Pirates are not going to win this year or next year, so they need to trade the players who are at the end of their peak (or past their peak) for young, talented players. At 27, Nate McLouth is what he is: a slightly above average hitter with horrible defense. For the Braves, they upgraded their outfield by a million percent. Funny how a 114 OPS+ is a HUGE upgrade. Maybe I need to review Frank Wren's brief tenure with the Braves next...

Tom Glavine: release from Atlanta Braves is about the money

2009-06-06T15:00:00.000-07:00

The Atlanta Braves released pitcher Tom Glavine, traded for Nate McLouth and promoted prospect Tommy Hanson this week. Glavine thinks his release is about the money and not performance based.

From Glavine:

"I told those guys if it's about you have better options, then tell me you have better options. I have listened the last day and a half about how bad I am, how bad I pitched and how I can't get anybody out in the big leagues. I've heard all that stuff. I don't agree with it."

From Braves general manager Frank Wren:

"Our evaluation was he would not be successful."

From Glavine again:

"Based on my performance? Well, my bad, I just threw 11 scoreless innings. Was I supposed to throw a no-hitter and strike out 15? That's never been my style of pitching."

First, in response to Wren, I agree with your evaluation but how did you not come up with that before you signed him for the 2008 season? What did Glavine do the last couple years with the New York Mets that warranted a contract? Look at the stats.

As a 41 year old with the Mets, Glavine pitched 200.1 innings with a 96 ERA+, a 1.413 WHIP, 1.39 strikeout to walk ratio. If anything, he was an average pitcher at best during his last season with the Mets. The Braves signed him to a contract. A maybe-average pitcher turning 42 years old does not equate to success. In his first year with the Braves, he was horrible in the games he pitched and was injured for most of the year. Now at 43 and coming off an injury, he shouldn't be surprised that he is being released. Sure, he pitched 11 scoreless innings in minor league ball, which is nice, but his past two years are better indicators than 11 scoreless minor league innings. He can convince himself that it isn't performance based, but he is wrong. He can probably pitch for a major league baseball team. Ideally, he could be used in long relief and as a spot starter for a contending team looking for pitching depth. Think Justin Masterson of the Red Sox. But his time with the Braves, like Greg Maddux and John Smoltz, is over. It's time for Braves fans to enjoy Tommy Hanson.

Pirate players sound off on McLouth trade

2009-06-05T15:44:00.000-07:00

I don't have any analysis for the Nate McLouth trade to the Atlanta Braves because I don't know much about the players the Pittsburgh Pirates got in return, but I am intrigued by the Pirate players reaction to the trade.

From second baseman Freddy Sanchez:

"Wow," second baseman Freddy Sanchez said Thursday of the trade, according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. "I think the biggest thing was the shock factor. It's obviously a tough pill to swallow. Our No. 3 hitter just got taken away, the guy who leads our team in home runs and RBIs, and we were 6½ games out. We could still have been right there. I think we still can. But we're all just kind of wondering right now ... wondering what it is."

From first baseman Adam LaRoche:

"There ain't a guy in here who ain't [ticked] off about it," said first baseman Adam LaRoche, according to the report. "It's kind of like being with your platoon in a battle, and guys keep dropping around you. You keep hanging on, hanging on, and you've got to figure: How much longer till you sink?

"It's fine. Heck with it. We're not the GM. We don't run the team. If they feel like it's the best move for three or four years from now, great," LaRoche said, according to the report. "Unfortunately, that does me no good. I've still got to be in here telling guys it's going to be fine with Nate gone. Well, you can only do that for so long until guys just kind of ... well, they know."

I hate to break it to Sanchez and LaRoche, but they will be traded. They have to be, right? Sanchez is having a very hot streak where his OPS+ is 125 and his rate stats this year are .321/.359/.488. Since he doesn't draw many walks and his batting average is well above his average the last two years, you have to expect those to go down and match his career line of .302/.338/.423. He is 31 years old and would make a nice piece to a contending team. LaRoche has a 114 OPS+ with rate states of .245/.341/.467. He is 29 years old and would also make for a nice piece for a contending team needing an extra bat. So sure it must hurt to lose their friend and teammate, but they can't be surprised. Now if they expect to be Pirates for the next three years, they are just oblivious. I wouldn't be shocked if a team like the New York Mets doesn't give up some prospects to acquire these two because they need a first baseman to replace the injured Carlos Delgado and a second baseman to replace umm whoever.

Also, not to be overly critical but with LaRoche saying, "there ain't a guy in here who ain't [ticked] off about it," is he replying that everyone is happy? Double negatives always get you.

Yes, Sammy Sosa some numbers for the hall of fame

2009-06-03T23:09:00.000-07:00

Sammy Sosa will announce his formal retirement from baseball. Really? Do we need to make a formal announcement?

The most interesting quote from the story:

"I will calmly wait for my induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Don't I have the numbers to be inducted?," said Sosa, who presently serves the Dominican government as Special Ambassador For Investment Opportunities."

Yes, Sosa has the numbers to be inducted. Or at least some numbers. The career 609 home runs is impressive. That's elite company. If you look at his rate stats, he posts a mediocre .273 career batting average with a so-so .344 on base percentage and a very nice .534 slugging percentage and a 128 OPS+.

Of course he forgot English when facing Congress about steroids. Then there's the corked bat incident. And finally that Rick Reilly SI piece where Sosa declined Reilly's steroid test offer.

Then again you could make the argument that while circumstantially things don't look good for Sosa, he has never failed a drug test. Also, will the Hall of Fame keep Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez and Roger Clemens out of the Hall of Fame?

The kicker is Mark McGwire The man Sammy Sosa is linked with. Both were a part of the magical 1998 home run chase. Both were at the congressional hearing. One didn't speak English, the other didn't want to speak. Both have never failed a drug test, yet the public and media suspects otherwise. McGwire hasn't even gotten close. Also, McGwire's numbers dwarf Sosa's numbers.

Let's compare:

Sammy Sosa

.272/.344/.534 and a 128 OPS+

Mark McGwire

.263/.394/.588 and a 162 OPS+

Sammy Sosa gets extra points for being a right fielder, but not that many extra points. Before that 1998 season, he was very good at making outs.

On Base Percentages:

1990: .282

1991: .240

1992: .317

1993: .309

1994: .339

1995: .340

1996: .323

1997: .300

That is just dreadful. Steroids or not, Sammy Sosa is truly a borderline case. And with McGwire struggling with the voting, Sosa might not want to actively wait for the call to the hall.

You Wanted Joba to Pitch in the 8th Inning...

2009-06-01T23:21:00.000-07:00

Fine.

You are right, Mike Francesa. Joba Chamberlain should pitch in the 8th inning. What was I thinking? Of course, it's much better when he's working on his 8th inning pitched in that game than coming in the 8th for 1 inning.

It's just one game, but maybe this one game will make fans and media types chill on the Joba to the bullpen movement. Remember, the San Francisco Giants considered doing that with Tim Lincecum during his rookie year. It's hard to win the Cy Young when you're only pitching 60 innings a year...

Steve Phillips says that Carlos Beltran is Not a Winning Player

2009-05-22T15:31:00.000-07:00

Former New York Mets general manager and current ESPN analyst Steve Phillips addressed a question during his chat in regards to his comment on Sunday night's baseball telecast on ESPN.

From the chat:

"Beltran Stays (New York): Steve, while I respect your work, I disagree with your statements about Carlos Beltran on Sunday Night Baseball. The guy has done nothing but produce, and name me a CF who's better in the game right now.

SportsNation Steve Phillips: If the Mets don't make the playoffs, I firmly believe they need to reconfigure the core of this team. While Beltran does have talent, I just don't see him as a winning player. Even after my comments on Sunday night, Beltran let a fly ball drop in between himself and Angel Pagan in the Dodger game. I see him putting up numbers but not making plays to win games. I would take Torii Hunter, Grady Sizemore, Curtis Granderson, and Nate McLouth over Beltran, and use the financial difference to improve the team in other ways. Beltran isn't a $17 million dollar a year player. He just doesn't have the kind of impact for that kind of money.

SportsNation Steve Phillips: Many people think that Alex Rodriguez is the best player in the game, but he's never won anything. I look at Beltran in a similar fashion as Rodriguez--a great talent that just doesn't seem to have what it takes to win championships. Maybe the Mets can keep him and add pieces to the core around him and still win. But when you're dealing with a budget and the screams of immediacy in New York, I'm not sure the Mets can wait to piece it together around him. I know there are a lot of people who disagree with me, but it's just the way I see it. Beltran is a very good person and a solid citizen, in addition to being a guy who puts up numbers. I like him, I just don't think they can win with him."

I read something about Phillips making those comments about Beltran during the game, and I appreciate that Phillips took the question and addressed it with his opinion. That said, I see no reason to think Phillips is right.

Baseball is not really a team sport and not really an individual sport. It's a weird mix. On the one hand, it is essentially pitcher vs. batter with a defense behind the pitcher. The batter is not affected by his teammates. The catch is that it is 9 batters going one on one against the pitcher and his defense. Carlos Beltran, David Wright and Jose Reyes do their parts very well.

I'm not going to get into the numbers because we all know Beltran puts up good numbers. Phillips acknowledges this. The point is that Beltran and Alex Rodriguez do their parts really well and do contribute to winning baseball. If we're looking at World Series rings, well, no they have not won a championship.

But Phillips says this:

"I would take Torii Hunter, Grady Sizemore, Curtis Granderson, and Nate McLouth over Beltran, and use the financial difference to improve the team in other ways."

Torii Hunter, Grady Sizemore, Curtis Granderson and Nate McLouth all have zero World Series rings. Coco Crisp has a World Series ring. Want him instead? How about Shane Victorino? Juan Pierre has a ring.

If the New York Mets were concerned about the financial implications of Beltran's contract and their inability to sign contracts, maybe they shouldn't have signed Luis Castillo who made $6.25 million last year or the inconsistent Oliver Perez to a three year $36 million contract.

Max Scherzer goes for win number two tonight

2009-05-21T11:38:00.000-07:00

Tonight Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Max Scherzer aims to get his second win in his big league career. It took Scherzer 14 starts and 23 games dating back to last year to notch his first victory last week against the Atlanta Braves in a 12-0 victory. He pitched six shut out innings, but he could have pitched a mediocre six innings of four-run ball. For a pitcher who boasts an impressive 147 ERA+ for his career along with good career rate stats of 9.5 strikeouts per 9 innings and 1.27 WHIP, the fact that it took him 93.2 career innings to notch his first victory shows the flaws in the win-loss stat.

Livan Hernandez was 13-11 last year with the Minnesota Twins and Colorado Rockies. Not bad. Certainly better than Scherzer's career record of 1-7. Look a little deeper and Hernandez had an ERA+ of 69, a WHIP of 1.667 and struck out 3.4 batters per 9 innings.

Looking at Scherzer's game logs this year, you can see why it took him so long to get the first victory. On May 5 against the Los Angeles Dodgers, he pitched six innings and gave up 3 runs (2 earned) in a 3-1 loss. On April 30, he pitched six innings of shut out ball against the Milwaukee Brewers, but the Diamondbacks lost 4-1. On April 19 against the San Francisco Giants, he gave up 1 run in five innings in a 2-0 loss--a game where Randy Johnson gave up one hit in seven innings.

While I know and you know that Scherzer is a pretty good pitcher despite his 1-7 record, Cy Young voters still use the win-loss record as a criteria. While a great pitcher will most likely have a nice win-loss record, sometimes the lack of wins kills a pitcher's chance. Two recent examples come to mind when Chris Carpenter won in 2005 against Roger Clemens and in 2004 when Roger Clemens won against Randy Johnson. In 2005, Clemens had his best ERA+ of 226, a microscopic 1.008 WHIP and struck out 7.9 batters per 9 innings. Carpenter had a great season, but you know the voters gave him the Cy Young because his 21-5 record looked nicer than Clemens' 13-8 record. Perhaps it's justice because while Clemens had a great 2004 year, Randy Johnson was better. Johnson had a 16-14 record which is no indication of how dominating he was that year. He posted a league best .900 WHIP. Nobody was getting on base against him.

While a poor win-loss record may hurt a pitcher's candidacy, a great win-loss record will improve a pitcher's candidacy. Makes sense, right? Russ Ortiz won 21 games with the Atlanta Braves in 2003 to finish fourth in Cy Young voting. Impressive. Of course his ERA+ was 112. While he was above average, he was merely 12% above the average pitcher in earned run average. His league leading 102 walks did not help his cause. What happens when your ERA is only 7% above the average major league pitcher and you post a 1.532 WHIP? You finish 5th in Cy Young Voting. Aaron Sele threw up those horrendous numbers with the Texas Rangers in 1999 along with his impressive 18-9 record. To his credit, he did strike out 8.2 batters per 9 innings. Of course Arlington Stadium is a hitter's ballpark, but ERA+ is league adjusted.

Coming in fourth or fifth in Cy Young voting is nice, but it's not like they won the award. Bartolo Colon won the award in 2005 with the Los Angeles Anaheim California Angels. He had a very nice season. He threw 222.2 innings with two complete games and put up a 122 ERA+, a 1.159 WHIP and struck out 6.3 batters per 9 innings. He had a very good season, but we all know he won the award because of the 21-8 record. Mariano Rivera finished second despite striking out 9.2 batters per 9 innings and putting up a .868 WHIP. He had his usual dominating season. That said, the real travesty was Johan Santana not winning the award. Santana threw 231.2 innings with three complete games and two shutouts along with a 1.55 ERA+, a .971 WHIP and struck out 9.2 batters per 9 innings. He dominated Colon in every category. Of course the 16-7 record for Santana was totally his fault.

Edit:

After I wrote this, I went to espn.com and noticed this little gem from Rob Neyer. He writes about the great Johan Santana, but this is the paragraph that emphasizes my point:

"But while Santana was not robbed of the award in 2008, he most certainly was in 2005 when -- finishing 16-7, just like last year -- he led the AL in strikeouts and finished second (by a hair) in ERA but finished third in the Cy Young balloting because voters are obsessed with wins and losses."

My post was about Max Scherzer finally getting that coveted first win, but I had a deeper theme about how good he is despite his poor win-loss record. Then I used some historical examples to prove my point. I will say that as a young kid, I was impressed with wins and losses. It was Neyer who showed me how meaningless records are in the big picture years ago.

"This Guy" is doing a nice job filling in for Manny B.

2009-05-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

In my last post, I callously referred to Juan Pierre as this guy. And while he won't keep this impressive run of games going and definitely won't post a .403/.477/.532 line for the rest of the season, he certainly will be good enough during the 50 game Manny vacation.

In my Manny taking a vacation post, I mentioned:

"At this point there is no mention of steroids. Also, I know it is extremely possible that he juices now and juiced back then. But until we know more, how can I make that giant leap?"

Well, we're almost at that leap. You know there are reporters are digging for more information and trying to link to his past. If he was smart, he would face the press and tell every little detail. Otherwise, something like this will happen.

As for the Dodgers, they don't need a Manny apology, they just need him to be in shape and ready to play once he serves the 50-game suspension.

Manny B. Manny Taking a 50 Game Vacation

2009-05-07T10:33:00.000-07:00

I was prepared to write a post today about Mets manager Jerry Manuel and his foolish managing, but I got a text message from my friend Jennifer at 9:00 this morning:

"Manny suspended 50 games for steroids! Ha ha"

I go to espn.com and see the headling: Manny Tests Positive.

What? My favorite player. How could this be?

After reading the article with the misleading headline, I see that it doesn't exactly list steroids or performance enhancing drugs. Manny B. says, "Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me. Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now."

Seems reasonable and considering there is no mention of steroid or performance enhancing drugs, I have no reason to suspect otherwise until more information is uncovered.

Now onto the reader comments:

dthom516 says:

"Another tarnished legacy. Once considered possibly the best hitter of his era, he will now join Bonds, A-Rod, Clemens and the rest of the PEDs users who got caught and saw their reputations slip away so fast...what a shame..."

What? Where's the mention of PEDs in the article? Look it's completely possible that he was taking a drug to mask steroids, but as of now, we have minimal information.

NYCTERPS says:

"Not surprised at all.......they all do roids these days, now maybe Arod wont be so dumped on. Sox fans have to be soooo disappointed."

Where was the mention that he did anything with the Sox? Possible but no information linking that. Now I'm thinking that some reporter will go Seleena Roberts on Manny and try to find out as much information as possible. This kind of story just leads itself to that sort of thing. How many books about Bonds, A-rod and Clemens have come out since there names have been linked with steroids?

True, I am slightly biased because he's my favorite player, but I'm also realist. At this point there is no mention of steroids. Also, I know it is extremely possible that he juices now and juiced back then. But until we know more, how can I make that giant leap?

Now of course there's the whole 50-game suspension. No matter how you break it down, the Dodgers are replacing Manny B. Manny with this guy. Fortunately, they still have Russell Martin, James Loney, Andre Ethier, Matt Kamp and Orlando Hudson. Also, they have Chad Billingsley and Clayton Kershaw pitching. Yes, losing Manny for 50 games and replacing him with a guy who has OPS+ 73, 75 and 82 the last three seasons is not a good thing, but the Dodgers have plenty of talent and play in a so-so division. This does give hope to the Diamondbacks and Giants though.

Also, it's funny that I wrote a lengthy post about the Dodgers mustached GM and all of his bad signings. All signings I thought were garbage from the start. And the one move I praised for being high-dollar but short-term might join that list of bad signings. Essentially the Dodgers are paying $25 million (with 50 games prorated) for 100 games. But hey, at least this time it was hindsight

The Mustached GM

2009-04-17T12:30:00.001-07:00

Rare is it that you will introduce me to a man with a mustache, and I will leave unimpressed. Unless he happens to be Los Angeles Dodgers GM Ned Colletti.

After checking out Rob Neyer's Friday Filberts, I noticed this wonderful gem about all of the young players the Dodgers have given up on during his time. And let's not forget trading super minor league catcher Carlos Santana for Casey Blake and his career .334 on base percentage.

This prompted me to ask Rob Neyer during his chat this question:

Radical Ryan, Arizona: You linked to a blog that posted Ned Coletti's (sp) history of trading young talent. Couple that with the signings of Andruw Jones, Jason Schmidt, Juan Pierre and to some extent Nomar Garciaparra, how does he have a job? Not only does he trade away good, young talent but he gives gobs of money to has-beens who can't even stay healthy!

And fortunately for me, Neyer selected this question first in his chat and posted a response:

Rob Neyer: Well, yes ... there's also that. At least he didn't have a bad winter, right? Though I suppose Randy Wolf could change that.

I'll get to his response in a second, but I originally meant to write about this topic during the offseason when the Dodgers were negotiating a contract and being "cheap" during the Manny B. Manny negotiations. Yes, the Dodgers were really negotiating against themselves and only themselves and from that perspective, they probably didn't have to offer him more than $15 million for a year. But considering that he makes them slight favorites in the NL West, a shot at the playoffs makes him worth the extra money. And as said, it's not like the Dodgers are going to drop ticket and parking prices, so Dodger shouldn't care about how much Manny makes so long as it is a short-term contract. And it was.

While Dodgers owner Frank McCourt was penny pinching (relatively speaking), perhaps he wouldn't have had to worry about saving dollars if Ned Colletti didn't give tons of money to Andruw Jones, Nomar Garciaparra, Jason Schmidt, Juan Pierre and Randy Wolf.

I'll address Jones, Pierre, Garciaparra and Schmidt based on last year's productioon. Randy Wolf hasn't had a full season with the Dodgers for me to bash.

Andruw Jones made just under $15 million to play 75 games. Of course, during those 75 games, he had this nice line: .158/.256/.249. An OPS+ of 34. Jones got this contract on the heels of his previous season with the Braves where he got on base 31.1% of the time and carried an 88 OPS+ warranted a big money contract.

Juan Pierre made $8 million last year to OPS+ 73 last year. Yes, he's speedy, but when he gets on base 32.7% of the time, his speediness is mostly used running back to the dug out. Pierre got on base 33% and 32.6% during the previous two seasons before signing the big money contract. And now Pierre is really just a pinch runner on a team that has a nice outfield of Manny B. Manny, Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp. Yes, I am surprised that Colletti hasn't traded Ethier for Jim Edmonds and Matt Kemp for Luis Gonzalez.

Wait, Colletti gave Luis Gonzalez more than $7 million in 2007 to play league average baseball. But hey, he was under 40 years old when Colletti signed him!

Nomar Garciaparra made $9.5 million last year to play 55 games. In 121 games in 2007, Garciaparra posted a 78 OPS+ and got on base a stellar 32.8% of the time. He did get a solid 2006 season out of him, but signing an injury-riddled Garciaparra to a three year deal paying him $9.5 million in the third deal is not good business. In his previous two years, he played 62 and 81 games. But hey, he was awesome from 1997-2000!

Jason Schmidt has made more than $30 million for 25.2 innings over two years. Enough said.

All of those bad contracts, and they took so long to lock up Manny B. Manny. Just sayin. Keep in mind, I didn't even mention the $7.5 million paid to Esteban Loaiza last year.

As for Neyer's question, the Dodgers did have an okay offseason. Signing Casey Blake, who turns 36 this year, to a three year $17.5 million contract is eerily similar to past signings of Kent and Nomah. Orlando Hudson is a nice pick-up. Rafael Furcal is nice, but at three years and $30 million, it seems like they overpaid for a guy that played 36 games for them last year. And of course, Randy Wolf. Sure, he had a nice half season with the Houston Astros last year, but in what year since 2004 has he shown he's even a league average pitcher who can stay healthy? Perhaps, Colletti liked him so much from the one year he spent with the Dodgers in 2007 where he pitched 102.2 innings and posted a 97 ERA+. By the way, Wolf's contract that year? $7,477,969

So much for that Cavs and Celtics Eastern Conference Rematch

2009-04-16T13:07:00.000-07:00

According to espn.com, Kevin Garnett could miss the entire playoffs.

Offensively, this is meaningless. Sure, Garnett is a good scorer and distributor, but Paul Pierce and Ray Allen can carry the team offensively with Leon Powe playing near the basket. Defensively, this is huge. With Kendrick Perkins, the Celtics had two outstanding defenders that complemented each other. With Superman Howard as a second round match-up, can the Celtics stop him? I just don't see it. While I don't see the Celtics stopping the Cavs in the Eastern Conference finals, you have to admit, the match-up does make for a fun seven-game series. Not only that, but with the Lakers wrapping up the Western Conference (sorry), you would have a potential Lakers and Celtics repeat OR a Kobe vs. LeBron death match. The possibility of Superman Howard and the Hedo Turkoglu's going against the Lake Show, even if it is a longshot, doesn't make for a fantastic finals.

Edit: John Hollinger wrote about this, but he used stats to back up his point.

Papelbon: Manny is a Cancer

2009-03-12T09:52:00.001-07:00

Be prepared for a bunch of cliches as Boston Red Sox closer Jonathon Papelbon describes Manny Ramirez and the addition of Jason Bay.

From the article:

"It just takes one guy to bring an entire team down, and that's exactly what was happening," Papelbon said, according to the magazine. "Once we saw that, we weren't afraid to get rid of him. It's like cancer. That's what he was. Cancer. He had to go. It [stunk], but that was the only scenario that was going to work. That was it for us."

I'm not sure if cancer is the right word considering what his teammates John Lester and Mike Lowell have gone through, but he decided to use the word cancer. Unlike basketball, baseball is really an individual sport. Sure, you need your teammates to help you out on unimportant stats like RBIs and Runs, but each player goes one-on-one per at bat. Each player controls his area on defense. You control your own greatness. Even if he was moody, there are lots of moody people. Jeff Kent and Barry Bonds were described as moody, and they led the Giants to the World Series. Manny B. Manny was crucial to both Red Sox World Series runs. He must be benign.

On the acquisition of Jason Bay, he says:

"And after, you could feel it in the air in the clubhouse," he said, according to the magazine. "We got Jason Bay -- Johnny Ballgame, plays the game right, plays through broken knees, runs out every ground ball -- and it was like a breath of fresh air, man! Awesome! No question."

Jason Bay does play the game the right way. Look at that career 131 OPS+ or that .375 career OBP. He even posted a 128 OPS+ in a very small sample size with the Red Sox. Manny Ramirez plays the game the righter way. In his half season with the Red Sox he had a 136 OPS+ and has a career OPS+ of 155 and a career .411 OBP.

I'm sure Jason Bay would not play the game with broken knees, but through the silly hyperbole, I get what Papelbon is saying. Jason Bay probably runs out most ground balls. Manny B. Manny probably does not run out most ground balls. I would say most baseball players don't run hard when they know they will be out. Is it wrong? Maybe a little bit because there's always a chance for an error. But if you were to watch the highlights of that dead story from Boston media and picked up by ESPN, you would see a highlight of Manny taking over five seconds to run to first. And then you would see a package of clips where he didn't run that hard. If you were to believe that, then you would think that this dude doesn't try. Looking at that career .411 OBP, I'm thinking the guy knows what he is doing and does it very well.

Barry Bonds Still a Free Agent

2009-03-10T12:25:00.000-07:00

Last week, the second best offensive free agent in baseball signed with the Los Angeles Dodgers. The best offensive free agent is without a team for the second consecutive year.

Say what you will about his character--which I believe is insanely overblown--but the guy can hit. But let's say this guy is a grumpy man who doesn't sign autographs for the kids. I don't go to baseball games to watch guys with great character who donate blood to the Red Cross and tells jokes at the neighborhood bar. I watch players who are skilled. Look at what this guy did for the Seattle Mariners last season. For a guy who is only supposed to play offense and not defense, he managed to get on base 27% of the time in half the season. Great. And they couldn't offer Barry Bonds a couple million? By the way, Jose Vidro made $8.5 million to not be a good player.

Okay, so it looks like the guy took steroids. But this guy was listed on the Mitchell Report for steroids. Gregg Zaun recently signed a contract with the Baltimore Orioles. Steroids, grumpyness, whatever your excuse, let's just be real for once: Barry Bonds has been blackballed by baseball.

The Evolution of Jeans

2009-03-07T22:40:00.000-08:00

Have you seen the price of jeans lately? Look, I'm all for men's fashion and looking great, but part of men's fashion is pulling it off. Not everyone can pull it off. So what do you have when you have a bunch of guys wearing True Religion Jeans at a Scottsdale club? You have a guy who just spent at least $200 and looking like everyone else. And look, just because you spent $200 on jeans, doesn't mean you are a fashion icon. It means you have no idea what you are doing.

Any guy in their mid 20s will recall Jnco's Jeans. You don't? Does this help? The baggy jeans with pockets that go from the waist to the heel. Every junior high kid had these jeans. Do you remember how foolish you looked when you spent $100 for these ridiculous jeans? Well, project that same thought on True Religion Jeans ten years from now.

The Pog Post

2009-03-05T11:52:00.000-08:00

I still have my Pogs; really, it's just part of my childhood museum. It's a reminder of how junior high promotes following trends rather than being your own person. I was in 6th grade when Pogs became hip. When I first saw them, I said to my friends, "I'll never get into that." Two weeks later, I was buying 60 Pogs for a dollar at the flea market. But here's the thing: those Pogs weren't good enough. You had to have the official Pogs with the official Pog markings on the back. They came in packs of four for about $3 or $4. Being the smart, young business man, I loaded up on those 60 for a dollar unofficial Pogs, invested in a heavy slammer and played rich kids for their official Pogs. I had the makings of a C.E.O. But instead, I decided to be a writer and satirize my experience. It's that whole two roads diverged in a yellow wood thing.

Manny Ramirez Signs with the Dodgers

2009-03-05T11:40:00.000-08:00

After a winter-long negotiation with the Los Angeles Dodgers, and really only the Dodgers, Manny Ramirez is officially back with the Dodgers.

This move makes the Dodgers a legit contender in the NL West. This sums up my take on the Dodger's improvement with Manny B. Manny in the lineup. Before the signing, the Dodgers and D-backs had a similar lineup. All pretty good to good hitters but neither team having the superstar slugger. Both teams had comparable pitching staffs with Webb and Haren slightly edging Billingsley and the projected numbers of Kershaw. Unless Justin Upton makes the big leap this year, which is a strong possibility but next year is more probably, the Dodgers now have the slight advantage. Regardless, this is going to be a good race and the loser has a shot at the Wild Card. Also, Ned Colletti needs to look at that lineup and see the lack of Juan Pierre. Congratulations Colletti, you have a $44 million pinch runner sitting on the bench.

The other part of the discussion is Manny's greed. I'm not sure why athletes are held to this standard where they should sign for less money and play for the love of the game. I'm sure most athletes love the game, but they also want to get paid tons of money. I love writing and I write for here for free, but I also look to get paid for my writing through magazines. As far as Manny signing for less money, look, the Dodgers aren't lowering ticket prices, concessions and parking. So if you're going to pay that much money, don't you want to see a good team?

What does Alex Rodriguez have to say?

2009-02-08T10:42:00.000-08:00

Imagine waking up Saturday morning and going to espn.com to see this.

Talk about unexpected. Of course, immediately, sensationalism comes way of Buster Olney and his rant on A-rod's legacy tarnished. I'm not sure why people are all caught up in legacy to begin with. Let's enjoy the game and not worry about legacies.

The most rational story came from Rob Neyer. We hope he didn't do steroids, but regardless of the outcome, he's still one of the best players. It's rather odd that Barry Bonds and his still massive on base percentage, slugging percentage and head couldn't get a one year contract last year when really bad players like Gregg Zaun, who was mentioned on the Mitchell Report, sign a contract with the Baltimore Orioles.

For some reason we hold athletes and celebrities to some high moral standard. We should not idolize them or be envious of them. We watch them for entertainment. Baseball now has strict penalties for those who get busted. So it would be completely foolish to take steroids (or get caught) these days. Back then, what's the penalty? Illegal? Sure. But if there is no penalty, what's the harm?

Where do we go from here? It should be an interesting next couple weeks. I expect columnist to praise moral values and condemn him. I expect many readers to think they are creative and post reader comments saying "A-roid." I am curious for A-rod's response. I am curious to see the names of the other 103 players. I wonder what Bonds and Roger Clemens are thinking. Stay tuned.

Baseball Hall of Fame Voting

2009-01-09T15:17:00.000-08:00

ESPN posted the ballots of their baseball writers who have a vote for the Hall of Fame.

To me, it's pretty simple. Rickey Henderson, Bert Blyleven, Alan Trammell, Mark McGwire and Tim Raines.

I really don't see the debate for Henderson, Blyleven or Raines so I won't address them.

For McGwire, he played in his era and was one of the most dominant players.

If you look at Alan Trammell's stats, they don't look that impressive. His career OPS+ is 110. An OPS+ of 100 indicates an average major league baseball player. At 110, he was a very good hitter. However, you have to take into account that he played shortstop. He wasn't a first baseman, right fielder or designated hitter hitting 110. Taking into account his position, he actually was an impressive hitter. And since most people agree that Craig Biggio is a first ballot hall of famer, as a fellow middle infielder, his stats look similar.

This will mark Jim Rice's final year on the ballot. For whatever reason, he will make it into the hall of fame. His career OPS+ is 128, which is very good. But most legit baseball writers, namely Keith Law and Rob Neyer, will point out that he was a horrible fielder, couldn't run and had bad away stats.

This movement of Jim Rice love has come from this label of "feared hitter." One writer labeled him a feared hitter and now everyone believes it. Under the reader comments of the ESPN ballot, user 4reojr14 has a long post and ends it with "And remember that there was a reason that Rice was feared!" Of course he was.

No, that pun was intended!

2008-12-08T12:49:00.000-08:00

Earlier in my blogspot posting days, I wrote a brief commentary about puns.

Well, after reading about the Detroit Tigers landing catcher Gerald Laird, I skimmed the readers comments. One of the most fascinating parts about journalism these days is the instant reader feedback. Anyway, one of our crafty readers said this:

"laird is no big catch no pun intended. in reality there are not many big time catchers out there any more like a bench fisk or pudge in his prime. varitek just turned down arbitration which would have put him at last years 10 million or above does he really believe he is a 10 million dollar player.well i tell you my opinion i have been watching baseball for 3o plus seasons mostly red sox games and he is by far the single worst hitter i have ever seen bar none."

Again, with the no pun intended!! Of course the pun was intended. The dude was smirking his way through that post. Hmmm. Catcher, no big catch. I'm witty!!! Let's write this masterpiece. Balloons come down, confetti sprays throughout the air.

"Scrappy" Pedroia Gets Extension

2008-12-03T18:44:00.000-08:00

AL MVP Dustin Pedroia signs an extension for six years and 40.5 million with the Red Sox. The benefits for Pedroia is that he gets guaranteed big bucks. The payoff for the Red Sox is that if he trends upward, they get an extremely valuable player at a cheaper rate during his prime years. Pedroia's value isn't just with his numbers because let's be honest, he's similar to Pat Burrell with the bat. That's not a knock. Both are well above the average hitter. Burrell's OPS+ is 125 and Pedroia's OPS+ is 122 with an OPS+ of 100 being the average. His value is having Pat Burrell numbers as a second baseman. Now of course Pedroia is a very short man. He is also of the caucasion persuasion. Because of that, Pedroia will get the label of "gritty," "gutty," "grinder" and "scrappy." Those are nice terms for short, pasty baseball players who manage to have average success in the big leagues. David Eckstein gets those comparisons. Not only are those adjectives peppered from journalists in describing someone of Pedroia's proportions, but they top it off with a "he plays the game the right way." Whatever that means. I guess hitting moonshots and being really good isn't the "right way." Regardless, I thought I'd check out what the reader comments responded to the ESPN article on the Pedroia extension.

"This guy is the Red Sox Derek Jeter only for 1/3 the price!"

I get what he's saying, but at this time, Pedroia is a better player than Jeter.

"Funny how Pedroia gets less than $7 million per year and good ol' A-Rod is getting $28 million per year. Just goes to show what complete idiots the Yankees have running their organization. A-Rod hit 24 points lower, had 18 more HRs, and had 20 more RBI's. I'd take the Pedroia deal any day of the week over A-Rod's. $21 million difference??? Great deal for both Pedroia and the Red Sox."

Check out A Rod's stats. Rodriguez, despite a lower batting average, has a higher on base percentage and a much higher slugging percentage. He's one of the best players ever. Pedroia's deal might be better because Pedroia is younger, cheaper and valuable, but taking those away, Rodriguez is a much better player.

"You can't compare Pedroia to any player that has been in the league for 10+ years, whether it's ARod or Jeter or anyone else. I'm not trying to take anything away from Pedroia, he is a great player and the deal is great for the Red Sox, but he has only played 2 seasons. Not saying he won't continue playing like he is, but 2 years isn't enough to give the man the bank...yet."

A sane comment.

"Thats because he's a team player, and team win Championships, not A-Rod obviously, the fact that Pedroia signed a contract like shows he wants to win, and that all the individual awards are just a bonus! Only a NY fan would call Pedroias MVP a joke, he had that on lock all year, with his team on his back."

Not quite. Pedroia came on strong at the end of the year. But J.D. Drew carried the team in the first half and had much better offensive numbers than Pedroia. With Drew's position being a position of offense, he has no more value really than Pedroia. Certainly Drew is not a dime a dozen, but he is a very good baseball player. If the Red Sox had A Rod during their two World Series runs, he would not have prohibited them from winning a World Series. When Pedroia's contract runs up (and assuming his production trends upward), he'll be asking for the $100 million contract.

Walmart Wounds

2008-11-29T12:35:00.000-08:00

On Black Friday, one Walmart worker died from a shopping stampede. Seriously!

"In the first, a temporary Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death in a rush of thousands of early morning shoppers as he and other employees attempted to unlock the doors of a Long Island, New York, store at 5 a.m., police said."

Really, if there was going to be a death over merchandise, does it shock you that Walmart is the venue? One of the interesting things about being a writer in this day and age is that bloggers (like what I'm doing now) will link and comment to other stories. I wrote for the State Press at Arizona State University during the summer 2006. I wrote about two experiences I had at Walmart. Sure I was a big tongue-in-cheek, but it was an accurate representation of my experience. After writing the column, I got a bunch of emails telling me how funny the story was, how inaccurate it was, how cool I was, how nerdy I was. These emails were from all over the country. It wasn't until I did a google search and noticed that an anti Walmart website linked the story. While I don't agree with most of Walmart's policies on virtually everything, I don't consider myself anti Walmart.

Looking back, here is one email I got in regards to the story:

"loved your piece on walmart. i happen to work at the one on mckellips and greenfield and know that you dont know how right you really are about the place. i stock shelves overnight and see the freakshow on a daily basis. last night was a prime example - it started with a crazy man out in the parking lot harassing customers. was he on drugs or was off his meds? unknown, but he was loud and irrational. i guess he was making so much noise that no one noticed the dead body by the front door. no, really, i shit you not here. an employee was found dead behind a planter when one of my colleagues went out for a smoke break at midnight. rumor is that he offed himself after he got off of work, the revolver lying on the ground next to his cooling corpse being the prime evidence thereof. but wait, thers more! as the police, the police SWAT team, the fire department, and the entire walmart management team is standing around scratching their heads, a meth-head starts tweaking hard right in front of them. this particular lady was (literally) bouncing off of walls and sales counters while rearranging items on shelves when the police noticed that something was possibly amiss with her. so they then areested her and her friend (who was also higher than the proverbial kite and was running around the store filling up shopping carts).
so there you have it, just another night of crazies, drug addicts, and self-induced gunshot wounds at walmart. be glad you got out alive!"

And on the completely opposite side of the spectrum:

"I seriously doubt there was one, much less two, attractive females in your "group". IF that had been the case, you would not have been at Wal-Mart for Scrabble. Your article draws a shadowy picture of a bored geek whom, having nobody to play with, tries to make himself feel better by picking on imaginary inferior creatures. More shadowy still, you probably are trying to sell WMT short and so are angry at 'the market', not the shoppers. Wow, you really seem to have hit a nerve (mine) with that article - maybe because I shop Wal-Mart and am long on the stock. :) So if that was your goal, good for you. But that article portrays, no - betrays - you, the writer, as an immature, superficial, non-substantive idiot. But what do I know? More than you - sometimes that's enough."

It's stories like the Black Friday one that just reaffirms my story. Though I do agree with one point from the reader who nailed me in the email. The story was immature. I did go for the jokes. Sure, it was easy, but what did we learn from the story that we didn't already know?

While I was google searching for the anti Walmart link, apparently another blog published my story.

YouTube is the new MTV

2008-11-27T00:35:00.001-08:00

Bring up MTV to anyone in my age group, and you will hear something to the effect that MTV isn't even music anymore. Sure, the music videos isn't as prevalent these days, but go to YouTube for your music videos.

If I want to check out my favorite band, The Foo Fighters:

Or let's say I'm on a Kanye kick:

There Will Not Be The Benefactor Season Two

2008-11-17T20:54:00.000-08:00

Doesn't seem like good times for Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. First, he was denied by the Cubs. Now he's being accused of insider trading. Apparently, he saved $750,000 in this deal. Of course, he could have saved millions if he never made this trade last year. But hey, at least he doesn't have to embarrass himself with this.

The Day the Clown Cried

2008-11-01T16:36:00.000-07:00

The title is a tribute to the great Jerry Lewis. When I took improv comedy classes and had the opportunity to perform on stage Tuesday nights on a team, most of my characters were wacky, quirky characters. I always appreciated Jerry Lewis and his nutty characters. That adjective was chosen specifically because of The Nutty Professor.

I don't write comedic essays that much, but I thought I'd post some of my favorite essays I have blogged.

I wrote The Arm Rest initially for the State Press during the summer of 2006. The State Press draft is considerably shorter, and the punked, punk'd joke always remains a personal favorite of mine.

I wrote Rock A Life for my magazine writing class. It is a collection of very short essays throughout my life to illustrate a theme. I'd have to reread my story to tell you the theme, but I know it was an important aspect to my life at the time.

I wrote 11:39 am I am sitting behind u because I used to wake up to random text messages from women I met the previous night. Good thing those days are behind me.

Three Sides of Comfort is based on my experience as a third wheel. The night was really boring and awkward, but it made for a great essay.

I combined two Las Vegas trips to write There's No Free Sex in Vegas for my travel story for my magazine writing class.

Writer's Cut for Behind The Wheel

2008-11-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

My first feature story, Behind The Wheel is out in stores now. Pick up a copy of Arizona Foothills magazine. With writing, there's always going to be some interesting stuff that needs to be cut. I thought I'd share some of the anecdotes here.

Heyy pretty lady, like my ride?
Dustin Martin, Bell Captain for Mondrian said at his previous job, a guest took the rental Corvette after Dustin retrieved the car, and started revving the engine (like a douche bag) and took off and crashed into the median.

To the rescue!
Danny Bell, Door Captain for Ritz-Carlton said that one time a person stole a guest's briefcase. So a valet went after him and tackled the theif and retrieved the briefcase.

Why can I see through my car?
Peter Montgomery of American Valet once valeted a car at Arizona Mills mall. There was a big hole on the floor of the car, and he could see the road. To make matters more uncomfortable, the seat was missing a cushion so he felt every "nut, bolt and spring of the car."

Introducing Klee Irwin

2008-10-28T00:12:00.000-07:00

Certainly I am not a fan of this type of humor, however, I find this to be the most amusing thing on television. It's a clip from the infomercial for Dual Action Cleanse starring Klee Irwin. Besides sporting a greasy mullet and a questionable mustache, you've got to imagine how awkward it is to chat with him in social settings.

Here is what Paul Lucas wrote on his review of the infomercial:

"An example of what goes on in this infomercial can be seen when they take the call of a man named Gary who says, "I just don't feel perfect…I feel like something is missing. Do you think this product could help me?"

To which Klee replies, "Gary, let me ask you a question: Do you have kids?"

"...Yes," Gary responds suspiciously.

Klee then asks the question on everyone's mind, "Are your bowel movements the same size and length as theirs are?"

"Absolutely not!" Gary says with conviction.

If this guy is going around measuring and weighing his kids' stools then perhaps he has more serious problems than the state of his colon."

I recommend reading the whole review and watching the clips on YouTube. Paul Lucas displays tremendous wit and really captured the sillyness of this infomercial.

Torre's Mistake

2008-10-13T23:39:00.000-07:00

Before I criticize Los Angeles Dodgers manager Joe Torre, I will give him props for not playing the overpaid, overrated and washed-up players that general manager Ned Colletti has signed. Torre smartly played the young, productive and emerging stars.

That said, starting Derek Lowe for game 4 was a horrible decision. Check the box score. If you're only going to use Lowe for five innings, then what's the point? During one of the earlier games in the series, the FOX broadcasters interviewed him during the game, and he said that he was going to use Lowe in game four because then he could use him for game seven. What's the point in saving a pitcher for a game that may or may not exist? Did we not learn this last year when Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella pulled pitcher Carlos Zambrano out early after only six innings and 85 pitches to save him for a potential game four. The game four never came as the Arizona Diamondbacks shut the Cubs out in three games.

A John McCain Rally

2008-10-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

These are John McCain's supporters:

Okay, so this clip doesn't represent all of McCain supporters, however, there are some people who think this way. In regards to that lady, you can't see her face, but you can see the hair. The Gene Wilder hair just reeks insanity. As for the guy, well, git r done I guess.

Red Sox Will Be In The World Series

2008-10-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

Despite the Boston Red Sox currently down 8-6 against the Tampa Bay Rays, the Red Sox are projected to win it all. One key reason is that Jason Bay almost matched Manny Ramirez's production with the Red Sox.

The Red Sox would be locks to win it all if they had a healthy Josh Beckett and Mike Lowell. Mike Lowell's production this year has been slightly above average offensively. However, he is a far better hitter than this guy. With Josh Beckett not healthy, there's a great risk that the Red Sox will play this guy.

Chad Johnson Is Ocho Cinco

2008-08-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

My favorite story of the year goes to Chad Johnson who leagally changed his last name to Ocho Cinco.

Chad Ocho Cinco. Say that out loud a couple times.

For good memories, here is Chad Johnson racing a horse:

Jose Valverde Picks Up A Meaingless Save

2008-08-17T15:06:00.000-07:00

The Houston Astros defeated the Arizona Diamondbacks today 3-0. Astros starting pitcher Roy Oswalt pitched eight innings giving up one hit, two walks, and no runs. Certainly, Oswalt pitched a great game, but there isn't anything memorable about this game. He didn't finish the game for the one hit shut out. You won't be seeing any replays of this game when they do the Oswalt highlights at the end of his career.

I am not sure why Astros manager Cecil Cooper didn't let him finish the game. Cooper hasn't allowed any of his starting pitchers go the distance this year. Of course the bigger picture in all of this, Valverde picks up a save. The save is wildly overrated, and this game is proof to validate its sillyness. Valverde saves a game, but does holding a three run lead for one inning really merit saving?

Closers are generally the second or third best pitcher on a pitching staff. Usually the one and two starters are the best, then the closer, then maybe the third starter, and a set-up pitcher. Some managers go by the book and only use their closers in save situations. The closer, or the best relief pitcher, should be used when needed to get outs. Bases loaded with one out in the sixth inning is a situation in which I want Mariano Rivera and his wicked stuff. That, to me, is a save and not throwing one inning in the ninth inning with a three run lead.

Valverde picks up another save in a situation where there was nothing to be saved. At the same time, Oswalt had a great game but not a special game.

I Think I'm Cool

2008-08-17T10:08:00.001-07:00

I am a part of the Special Occasions Committee at my job, and I am in charge of creating the monthly newsletter. In addition to all the news, events, and messages from upper managers, I figured it would be fun to put some creative input from my coworkers. My idea is to have a coworker submit a story, drawing, riddle, or anything creative to be published at the back page of the newsletter. For the first month, I am going to submit a story. Being that almost everything I write is at least five pages, I wrote something new. This is the first creative piece I have written since I graduated.

The story is based on trends. Initially, I thought I would make fun of myself for buying ridiculous clothes just because they had the Nike swoosh or Tommy patch. Then, I saw the bigger picture. I thought trends ended once we become adults, but then I thought about skinny dudes wearing Affliction. Here goes:

Do you ever look back to your junior high days and think how lame it was to buy all these clothes just to stay trendy with your classmates?

I once purchased a Tommy Hilfiger t-shirt off the 50% off rack at Dillard’s in eighth grade. The shirt utilized two of the primary colors in a horizontal stripe pattern and had the Tommy patch on the upper left corner of the shirt. There was a reason the shirt was on the 50% off rack. The shirt was unsightly. Nobody could pull the shirt off without a stranger off the street pointing his or her finger and laughing at you. At the time, it didn’t matter because I was cool with my official Tommy patch seal of approval.

We think that the “do whatever it takes to be cool” phase ends once we age to adulthood. The phase never ends. Have you ever seen a skinny guy at a Scottsdale club wear an Affliction t-shirt? Affliction: the brand for big, muscular men. Affliction t-shirts run anywhere from $50 to $75. Yes, a t-shirt. But the t-shirts are trendy in the club scene, so we must buy it.

I can only imagine the transaction. A guy and his girlfriend are at the store.

Guy comes out of dressing room with Affliction t-shirt on and says, “What do you think?”

“That looks hot,” girlfriend says.

“It’s a little loose on you. I think you should try something more slim fitting. You’ll look better,” voice of fashion reason says. Unfortunately the voice of fashion reason can’t be heard because there is no voice of reason in this transaction scene.

“I should get four t-shirts so I’m not on repeat cycle after the first weekend,” he says.

“How much are they?” she asks.

“About sixty dollars each,” he says.

Why do we go out of our way to stay trendy? When we were younger, we bought the Jinco’s jeans, the Tommy shirts, and the Nike shoes to become popular and give the illusion that we were cool. As adults, we buy the Christian Dior glasses and Affliction shirts to attract someone. However, if we can’t pull those styles off, we look like a poser. Everyone can see right through it. Look at the comments at http://www.thedirty.com. The people in the pictures think they are cool, but the reader comments exploit them for being a tool. Really, if you buy something trendy and can’t pull it off, save your money and go with clothes you can wear. Even if you can’t pull off the trend, you’ll save $60 and the humiliation of a stranger pointing his or her finger and laughing at you.

Back To Back CGSO For Brewers Pitchers

2008-08-09T19:27:00.000-07:00

Friday Night.

Tonight.

The Brewers have two legitimate aces on their team. Adding tonight's start, Ben Sheets has four complete games and two shut-outs. C. C. Sabathia has four complete games and two shut-outs for the Brewers and seven complete games and four shut-outs overall on the season.

Dan Haren has been great this season for the Diamondbacks. On the year, he has no complete games and shut-outs. This is important because there is a huge drop off between Dan Haren and a Diamondback reliever. Once Haren is out of the game, the chances for the opposing team to score runs increases. The drop off between Sabathia and Sheets and their relief pitcher is huge. With Sabathia and Sheets throwing complete game shut-outs, the opposing team doesn't see the Brewers relievers. This could be huge down the stretch and in the playoffs.

Johan Santana has been great this year for the Mets. He only has 9 wins on the year despite an ERA+ of 144. The Mets bullpen has blown six games started by Santana. Santana has one complete game on the year.

Haren and Santana are both stud pitchers, but it's a great luxury for the Brewers to have Sheets and Sabathia finish games off and not have to use bad relief pitchers.

Josh Hamilton: Great Story But Not The AL MVP

2008-08-09T13:25:00.000-07:00

I was watching the FOX pregame show for baseball this morning. They were talking MVP for the AL. And Mark Grace, seemingly unprepared, asked Kevin Kennedy for help. Kennedy shouted, "Josh Hamilton," and Grace agreed.

Now, I get that the Josh Hamilton story is a really good story, but check the stats. VORP is probably the best measurement for "value."

Josh Hamilton is having a GREAT year. Make no mistake about it. Grady Sizemore is the most valuable player in the AL, but I'm one of those guys that likes the MVP to go to a player on a contending team. So since the Yankees are in contention, Alex Rodriguez is your AL MVP. The strange thing is despite Hamilton's year, he's the third best hitter on the team behind Kinsler and Bradley. So he isn't even the most valuable player on his team.

But lets break this down by more traditional stats.

Josh Hamilton:

75 runs. Great. But that is more of a team stat. He is dependent on others for that numbers as well as himself.

27 homeruns. Great.

108 rbis. Great. But that is also a team stat where he is dependent on others as well as himself.

.300 batting average. Very good.

.365 on base percentage. Very good.

.547 slugging percentage. Very good.

140 OPS+. 100 is average so you can see how far above average he is.

Ian Kinsler:

94 runs. Great. But that is because of him getting on base AND players like Bradley and Hamilton driving him in. Kinsler getting on base and scoring runs also influences Hamilton's high rbis. So they are helping each other out.

14 homeruns. Good.

62 rbis. Good, but a team stat.

.313 batting average. Very good.

.374 on base percentage. Very good. Gets on base more than Hamilton.

.498 slugging percentage. Very good.

131 OPS+. He is well above average.

Now you're saying, "Hamilton has a higher OPS+ and slugging percentage so he is better." True. But Hamilton plays a position where there are a lot of very great hitters. Kinsler plays second base where there aren't a lot of great hitters. Hamilton's 9 OPS+ points higher isn't a big enough difference to make up for the position differences. There is more value in having Kinsler than Hamilton.

Bernie Mac Dead At 50

2008-08-09T11:23:00.000-07:00

Bernie Mac died this morning from complications with pneumonia. Unlike George Carlin, Bernie Mac was a "my generation" comedian.

Make no mistake about it, Mac did a lot of bad movies.

However, he did have a brilliant small role in the great movie, Friday.

In the scene where he is talking with Craig, Craig points accross the street at Mrs. Parker bending over while doing yard work. Mac's character Pastor Clever shouts, "Lord have mercy! God is my shepherd, and he knows what I want!"

No Pun Intended

2008-07-31T08:29:00.000-07:00

We hate hearing puns, yet we love saying puns.

When we hear a pun, we think, "oh man, how lame." However, when we say a pun, we think we're clever. Usually a smirk follows the end of the pun sentence, and to make ourselves feel more clever, we add the phrase, "no pun intended."

Democrats, Republicans? I say bring back the Whigs

2008-07-29T22:43:00.000-07:00

Have you ever met an extreme republican and thought to yourself, "wow, that guy has no compassion for people who aren't straight, white, protestant males."

Then you take a walk and you see a democratic person with a binder collecting monthly donations for some cause and you think to yourself, "I'm a struggling college kid, and this guy expects me to pay $20 a month to save a desolate rainforest?"

We really need a third party. A third party that contains the sane thoughts of both parties and discards wack though. I realize that we have Green parties, Libertarian parties, and Donald Duck parties, but no candidate from those parties will be president. They aren't participating in the debates or raising lots of money. We're stuck with two choices.

I slightly favor democrats, but it's not like I go ga-ga over democrats. On multiple choice tests, we choose the answer A through D. While choosing the next president, we get A and B and a G, H, and I that aren't even an option on a scantron sheet. I would like to have a C, a D, and the occasional E.

Other presidential tidbits:

Interesting fact. The only two nominated Whig party members died in office.

Personal dream. I would love to see our candidates don the powdered wig. Could you imagine Barack wearing a powdered wig? Could you see John McCain going to a hair stylists and asking for curly extentions?

What's your favourite presidential style? The old-school powdered wigs? The long, scruffy beards? Or the current clean shaven, nicely cropped hair?

The Correlation Between Furniture and Pictures

2008-07-16T19:32:00.000-07:00

I have a photo album that contains a plethora of pictures from my early childhood during the 80s. Many of those photos contain “the couch.” Anyone who grew up in the 70s and 80s know what couch I’m talking about. It’s that dim, grungy brown, yellow, orange meshed couch that resided in every house in America during those decades.

After noticing the bad haircut, the dorky clothes, and the couch all contained in one memory-sake picture, I observed the actual quality of the picture itself. The picture is of a rather dim, grungy, brown, yellow, orange meshed quality. I then came to an epiphany! Furniture and photography have parallel progressions.

In the 90s, we traded in that worn-out couch with patches on the cushion for a new couch that contained a flappable armrest. Once the armrest cushion was flapped upward, a secret cup holder was revealed. Pictures at this time became a little clearer as zoom-in features and better flashes were readily available to the average consumer.

During our present decade, we started becoming hip with our furniture. We now want to show the world that not only can we enjoy sitting, but we can sit on an artistic piece of furniture. Sometimes we even question whether it is appropriate to sit down when this couch really belongs on display at a museum! Yes, I’m talking about the Ikea rage.

Similarly, our cameras are now digitalized. We can preview our pictures. We can take the same picture five times until finally “Brad” learns how to time the flash. Not only can we preview our pictures, but we can upload pictures on to a computer and create a myriad of cool photoshop creations. Our pictures are now artistic. Perhaps the pictures also belong in a museum on an end table next to the Ikea couch.

All this truly fascinates me. Really, I don’t see where we can improve on photography and furniture. I am, however, excited to see what the next decade brings. Perhaps, the brains of picture quality and control can figure out how to remove the “thumb” in most of my pictures in my photo album.

Comparing the All-Star Teams with VORP

2008-07-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

The All-star teams have been announced, so I want to see if they got it right.

So the rules are:

I determine the line-ups using VORP.

I take ten starting pitchers and two relief pitchers (starters do more work so should deserve the merits). I take (at least) two position players for each position. Unless there is a position that isn't worthy of two positions, I'll make adjustments. I don't take one player for each team, however, usually every team has at least one all-star worthy player.

AL All-Star Team:

OF:
Grady Sizmore
Josh Hamilton
JD Drew

DH:
Milton Bradley

1b:
Kevin Youkilis

2b:
Ian Kinsler

SS:
Michael Young

3b:
Alex Rodriguez

C:
Joe Mauer

Reserves:

OF:
Jermaine Dye
Johnny Damon*
Carlos Quentin
Manny Ramirez
*Ichiro Suzuki replaces the injured Damon.

1b:
Jason Giambi

2b:
Brian Roberts

SS:
Derek Jeter

3b:
Evan Longoria

C:
AJ Pierzynski

Pitchers:
Cliff Lee (starter)
John Danks
Roy Halladay
Justin Duchscherer
Shaun Marcum
Jon Lester
John Lackey
Rich Harden
Mariano Rivera
Joakim Soria

Here is how the AL all-star team looks:

Starters:

C: Joe Mauer - correct
1b: Kevin Youkilis - correct
2b: Dustin Pedroia - Kinsler is the fifth best player in major league baseball acc to vorp. Pedroia is having a good year though. Still. Fifth best player in MLB.
SS: Derek Jeter - He's the second best short stop in the AL. In the NL, he ranks behind Clint Barmes. Seriously. But he is an all-star so not horrible.
3b: Alex Rodriguez - correct
OF: Josh Hamilton - correct
OF: Manny Ramirez - JD Drew and Grady Sizemore are having better years. Manny is an all-star so not horrible.
OF: Ichiro Suzuki - He's not an all-star. However, he would replace Johnny Damon on the team as an injury replacement. So in the end he would be an all-star just not a starter.
DH: Milton Bradley replacing injured David Ortiz

Sizemore is the ninth best player in MLB acc to VORP. Kinsler is the best player in the AL. Seriously.

Reserves:
Jason Varitek, Justin Morneau, Ian Kinsler, Michael Young, Joe Crede, JD Drew, Grady Sizemore, Carlos Quentin, Dioner Navarro, and Carlos Guillen.

Varitek, Morneau, and Crede shouldn't have made the team. But the only people that really got screwed were Jason Giambi and Jermaine Dye.

Pitchers:
Cliff Lee, Roy Halladay, Scott Kazmir, Joe Saunders, Ervin Santana, Francisco Rodriguez, Jonathon Papelbon, Mariano Rivera, Justin Duch, George Sherrill, Joakim Soria. Those pitchers are fine. I mean, most of these guys that made the team are close enough VORP wise to the people I had making it. But John Danks got the royal screw job. He's the second best pitcher in the AL.

The NL All-star team according to VORP:

OF:
Matt Holliday
Pat Burrell
Jason Bay

1b:
Lance Berkman (best player in baseball)

2b:
Chase Utley

SS:
Hanley Ramirez (third best player in baseball)

3b:
Chipper Jones (second best player in baseball)

C:
Brian McCann

DH:
Albert Pujols (fourth best player in baseball)

Reserves:

OF:
Nate Mclouth
Carlos Lee
Xavier Nady (what's with the pirates and really good outfielders?)

1b:
Adrian Gonzalez

2b:
Dan Uggla

SS:
Jose Reyes
Rafael Furcal

3b:
David Wright

C:
Russell Martin

Pitchers:
Tim Lincecum (starter, best pitcher in baseball. And to think, baseball tonight experts and the inept giants organization were thinking of putting him in the bullpen last year)
Ben Sheets
Dan Haren
Cole Hamels
Edinson Volquez
Carlos Zambrano
Tim Hudson
Aaron Cook
Johan Santana
Jake Peavy
Brad Lidge
Francisco Cordero

Here's how the NL all-star team is as it stands:

C: Geovanny Soto - He's the third best catcher. Not horrendous, but McCann is one of the top 20 hitters in MLB and the best catcher.

1b: Lance Berkman - Best player in baseball.

2b: Chase Utley - correct

SS: Hanley Ramirez - correct

3b: Chipper Jones - correct

OF: Ryan Braun - He's having a good year, but the weird thing is the Pirates outfielders are dominating.

OF: Alfonso Soriano - overrated.

OF: Kosuke Fukodome - I'm surprised he isn't one of the top six NL outfielders. I think he deserves to make it, but according to numbers, he just misses it.

Reserves:

Russell Martin, Adrian Gonzalez, Dan Uggla, Aramis Ramirez, Miguel Tejada, Nate Mclouth, Ryan Ludwick, Brian McCann, Cristian Guzman, and Albert Pujols.

I feel bad for Pat Burrell. Overall the position players look good.

Pitchers:

Brandon Webb, Edinson Volquez, Tim Lincecum, Ben Sheets, Ryan Dempster, Brad Lidge, Kerry Wood, Brian Wilson, Aaron Cook, Billy Wagner, Dan Haren, and Carlos Zambrano.

The only problem I have is Brian Wilson. He's horrible. Really bad. Saves are overrated. Look at his ERA. 4.37 ERA. 98 ERA+. For a relief pitcher! His WHIP is 1.4!!!

Look at it!!

Cole Hamels should be outraged!! He's the third best pitcher in the NL. As for everyone else, they're fine. Most of those pitchers are lumped in with the Tim Hudsons of the world.

Overall, an very good job. Except Brian Wilson over Cole Hamels. The Giants have their representative in Tim "nl cy young" Lincecum!!!!!! Who would you rather put in the game? Brian Wilson or Cole Hamels? Exactly.

George Carlin Dead at 71

2008-06-23T17:57:00.000-07:00

Comedian George Carlin died last night at the age of 71.

George Carlin's star was before most of our times. I'm sure most of you know him as the guy that's in Kevin Smith movies. Of course I remember him as the star of the really bad George Carlin Show.

Of course for older generations, he's in the pantheon of great comics joining Richard Pryor and Rodney Dangerfield. History buffs may recall his arrest for the Seven Dirtiest Words bit in Milwaukee in 1972.

Here's a YouTube tribute.

The Arm Rest

2008-06-23T13:04:00.000-07:00

I went to a party recently, and I met a female by the Chex-mix bowl. I dug into the bowl and ate the wonderful snack while discarding the pretzels. The thin brunette was wearing casual clothes and drinking liquid from a plastic red cup.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“1:30,” I said.

After about five minutes of that dialogue going back and forth, I decided to change the subject.

“Isn’t it crazy how Ronald Reagan punked Walter Mondale in the 1984 election?” I said.

“Oh my god, I know, right? It reminds me of the time Ashton Kutcher punk’d The Rock,” she said.

“I don’t think I saw that episode. What happened?” I asked.

“The Rock was on set for the movie Be Cool and Ashton totally blew up The Rock’s trailer freaking The Rock out big time,” she said.

“You’d think the celebrities would be on to it by now. I mean, how often do trailers really blow up?” I said.

“That’s true. Gees, what horrible song is this?”

“Pat Boone. I can’t believe they’re playing Pat Boone. That’s about 50 years too late. Give me Duran Duran. Something,” I said.

“Gold Digger,” she said.

“What?” I asked.

“I want to hear Kanye West Gold Digger,” she said.

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do,” I said.

I went to the CD player and noticed a CD wallet. I flipped through the CDs and found the Kanye West CD. I inserted the CD into the stereo and played Kanye West. I walked back to, ummm, what’s her name?

“Hey, so what’s your name?” I asked.

“Blossom,” she said.

“Really,” I said.

“Yeah,” she said.

“That must have sucked growing up,” I said.

“Yeah. The Joey Lawrence jokes were really bad,” she said.

“Well, at least he’s an obscure reference today. Regardless, I’ll spare you the ‘whoa!’ anyway,” I said.

“Thanks. Guys think they are original when they should that out,” she said.

“Sometimes we’re not that creative. It’s true. I’m Ryan, by the way,” I said.

“Hello Ryan,” she said.

“This might not be the most original idea ever but how about we see the Nacho Libre at the movie theatre,” I said.

“That’s out on DVD,” she said.

“It is, but there is this one movie theatre that plays Nacho Libre nonstop. I’ve always wanted to check it out,” I said.

“Okay, that sounds good. Let me see your phone so I can put my number in it. You can call me tomorrow,” she said.

“Yeah, definitely,” I said.

Moments later the cops knocked on the door. The neighbors complained because we played Kanye West too loud. Why weren’t there complaints when we played Pat Boone?

The next day I called her.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Nothing much. I’m just looking at pictures of Tom and Katie’s kid,” she said.

“That kid could be either the best looking kid in the world or the ugliest kid in the world. Really, there is no middle,” I said.

“There’s an article in here about Brad and Angelina. I still can’t believe Brad left Jennifer,” she said.

“Oh, I can,” I said.

“What?” she asked.

“Cannn not. Jennifer is beautiful, bold, funny, and charming. Angelina. What? Gone in 60 Seconds. Come on. Give me something more,” I said.

“Yeah, exactly. She used to be with Billy Bob. Brad is the hottest man in the world and he is getting Billy Bob’s leftovers,” she said.

“Well, that’s better than when Nicolas Cage married Lisa Marie Presley. He was getting Michael Jackson’s leftovers,” I said.

“Ick, that mustache on Bruce Willis has got to go,” she said.

“Yeah, not the best fashion choice. But hey, so we’re on for tonight, right?” I asked.

“Yeah, I was thinking around eight would work for me,” she said.

“That’s fine. I’ll pick you up then,” I said.

“Okay, see you then,” she said.

I went over to my friend’s house for advice.

“So I got this date with this girl I met last night. We’re watching Nacho Libre at that one movie theatre. So when we’re sitting
down, should I place my hand on her knee or around her shoulder,” I said.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

“You know, how do I approach the movie theatre date,” I said.

“I wouldn’t worry about all that. You just have to make sure the armrest is up,” he said.

That night, I picked up my date, got tickets, and entered the theater. We sat down in the semi-reclining chair. Every time I reclined back, the chair moved me forward.

Her arm consumed the armrest, and I was going crazy trying to figure out how I could lift the armrest up. Then it hit me.

“Hey, can you get some snacks if I give you some money?” I asked.

“Sure, what do you want?” she asked.

“Chex mix? Dunkaroos? Those giant, chewable Sweetarts? I don’t know. What do they have?” I asked.

“Um, popcorn,” she said.

“Okay, that works. And get a drink too please,” I said.

She left to go purchase the popcorn and soda, and I swiftly moved the armrest up. Then I moved it back down. I did not know what to do. I thought she would think it was weird that suddenly the armrest was up after she left. Maybe she wanted the armrest up. I don’t know. I just wanted to watch the movie from the director of Napolean Dynamite, the writer of School of Rock and the cinematographer of Ghost Dad.

I saw her walking up the stairs, and I quickly moved the armrest back up. I almost expected Roger Waters to perform a celebratory concert of the union of the two movie theatre seats.

She handed me the bag of popcorn and sat down. She moved the armrest down, placed the soda cup in the armrest cup holder, and we watched the movie.

He won because I lost

2008-06-23T01:09:00.000-07:00

“Hey, let’s hit the dance floor,” I said.

“Should we go up to two girls who are dancing with each other?” my friend Mike asked.

I refuse to do the wingman thing seriously. I can’t comprehend how two girls can fall for the buddy system shtick.
My mom and grandma raised me during the 80s. I ironed my clothes at two years old. I cooked eggs at eight years old. I made bracelets from thread at ten years old. I never nailed pieces of wood together to make a birdhouse. I never changed my car’s oil. Actually, I have never flipped through a car magazine.

Women see two guys approach them, and the women think the guys are after sex. It does not matter that the two guys in this situation want to dance. How many times have we seen the movie where two guys work their game on women at a club? How many times do guys watch those movies and think that actually works?

“No, I’d rather just dance on my own. Ya know there’s going to be a girl dancing by herself,” I said.

* * *

“There’s the Captain Morgan girls. I bet they are giving away free drinks,” I said.

“Let’s go over there,” my friend Cyrus said.

We walked to the bar area where a man dressed as Captain Morgan posed for pictures with patrons. Team Morgan consisted of two other girls. One girl took pictures from a Polaroid camera, and the other girl would go to the bar to retrieve Captain and Cokes to give to the patrons.

“How do you get free Captain and Cokes?” I asked.

“If you take a picture with the Captain, we will get you a free drink. But here’s a starter,” she said.

I took a drink.

The other girl placed Cyrus and myself next to the Captain, and she took a picture of us. The first girl gave Cyrus and me another drink.

“Thanks, that was really awesome of you,” I said.

“No problem. This place is running Captain specials all night,” she said.

“That’s really cool, but I like the idea of free drinks, ya know,” I said.

“Let me see what I can do,” she said.

Two minutes later, she brought Cyrus and me another drink.

“If I keep posing for pictures, will I get more free drinks?” I asked.

“Yeah, do you want to take another picture?” she asked.

“Well, it would be cool if I had a copy of the picture,” I said.

Seven progressively drunker pictures later, I had my alcohol fix for the night. I spotted my friend Mike at the other side of the bar.

“Hey, let’s hit the dance floor,” I said.

“Should we go up to two girls who are dancing with each other?” he asked.

“No, I’d rather just dance on my own. Ya know there’s going to be a girl dancing by herself,” I said.

* * *

“I’m not a p-nazi. Are you kidding me? I just like being in pictures, you dork,” I said on the phone to my friend Monika.
Dirtyscottsdale.com categorizes a p-nazi as a guy, who takes a shirtless picture of himself in the bathroom or at the gym.

“Fine, fine. But you’re in every picture I took. You just pop up somehow,” she said.

“I don’t turn down a free picture,” I said.

So you’re hitting the clubs tonight?” she asked.

“Yeah. I feel like breaking it down on the dance floor,” I said.

“What are you wearing tonight?” she asked.

“Button down shirt, those brown funktastic pants, no tie, and purple contacts,” I said.

“How’s the hair?” she asked.

“I’m growing it out,” I said.

“No, you need a haircut,” she said.

“Ya know, fuck the pretty boy image. I’m a rock star,” I said.

“Yeah, sure you are,” she said.

“Oh, come on now. You know I am,” I said.

* * *

“I’m going to dance with that girl over there,” I said.

“Go for it,” Mike said.

Every step I took toward her matched the Kanye beat. Her blonde hair screamed, “I used to be a brunette!”

“Yes, I know,” my fake black hair said back.

“Hi, I’m Ryan,” I said.

“Devra,” she said.

“Devra?” I asked.

“No, Sarna,” she said.

“Sarna?” I asked.

She laughed. “No, [totally inaudible],” she said.

“Oh, okay, cool. Nice to meet you,” I said.

The Bel Biv Devoe song played, and I threw out steps that Stomp The Yard couldn’t match.

* * *

“You know, I can go off campus for lunch,” I said.

“Oh, mister big high school senior and his off campus pass,” my friend Tara said.

“I’m just sayin,” I said.

“Why don’t ya?” she asked.

“I like to hang with the people sometimes,” I said.

“So we’re the people?” she asked.

“Yeah, you know, you’re the commoners, and I’m reaching out to ya,” I said.

I enjoyed hanging out in the newspaper room with Tara, Amy, Patty, Erin, and Kim. We had this thing called ‘Girl Talk.’ The title doesn’t really make me seem manly, but I learned how to be a man from the talks. I would talk about a girl I was dating, and they would offer me advice. Logically, I figured getting advice from girls was better than getting advice from guys.

“Wanna dance?” Tara asked.

“What is this? Nsync?” I asked.

“No, Backstreet Boys,” she said.

“Sure, let’s do it,” I said.

“Okay, follow my lead,” she said.

* * *

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bump knees. I’ve had a little bit to drink,” I said.

“That’s okay. You dance unusual,” she said.

I’ve taken sober notice at guys’ dance moves at clubs. Some guys are just tremendous. Other guys look like their whole body from the knees to the neck is wrapped in a hard body cast. The head bobs in motion. The knees bend and catch some beat. And their ankles must be sprained or something. I’m trying to figure how the Wobbly Chicken became the dance craze of my generation.

I don’t dance professionally. In fact, film coverage of my dance moves would confuse Napoleon Dynamite. I like to have fun, and I know that movement is fun. I incorporate swing, ballroom, and bump n grind in my routine.

“Yeah, well, I’m not a fan of swaying. Save that for a Coldplay concert,” I said.

A man approached -what’s her name- from behind. He started dancing and holding on to her back hips.

“I think your boyfriend is getting jealous. I should leave,” I said.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she said.

I spun us around, so now my back is facing him.

“Better?” I asked.

“Yeah, he’s been bothering me all night,” she said.

“Who is he?” I asked.

“He’s my friend, but he’s been trying to get with me all night,” I said.

“And you’re not interested?” I asked.

“Nope, just a friend,” she said.

“Apparently, he doesn’t grasp that concept,” I said.

She kissed me.

“I’m going to get some water,” she said.

“Alright, I’m going to use the bathroom real quick,” I said.

* * *

“I made you this bracelet,” I said.

“Oh, cool. It’s FSU colors,” Melissa said.

Melissa sat in the front of my row in my 5th grade social studies class at St. Jude’s elementary school in Florida. I didn’t have any feelings for her, but at the same time, she didn’t have cooties. She made a bracelet with Gator blue and orange colors for me one day. I thought bracelet-making looked fun so I bought a bunch of thread and a case at the store.

Bracelet-making: the new game boy.

Other boys and girls from class picked up on this activity. I considered myself the Susan B. Anthony of bracelet-making.
Later that day at recess, I did the Too Legit To Quit moves with a couple guy friends. The dance consists of a lot of arm and leg movements. The original Tae-Bo. After the dance, I backed up to fall on the mulch for the grand finale. However, I backed up into a bigger sixth grader.

“Don’t touch me,” he said.

“Sorry man, I didn’t know you were behind me,” I said.

“It doesn’t matter. You touched me. A fifth grader touched me,” he said.

“It’s cool, dude. I’m sorry. No problems,” I said.

He pushed me.

"Don't push me," I said.

“You’re not going to fight me? Are you a pussy?” he asked.

“I don’t fight,” I said.

“Look at this pansy. I totally won,” he said to a couple friends.

"What did you win? Where's your ribbon? I don't see it," I said.

"What?" he asked.

"Yeah, of course you don't get it," I said.

* * *

I came back from the bathroom, and -what’s her name- stood by the corner with her head down.

“Is everything cool?” I asked.

“I guess,” she said.

“Let’s go dance,” I said.

She didn’t move.

“Come on. It’s The Backstreet Boys,” I said.

She just looked at me.

“Tell me why! Ain’t nothing but a heartache. Telllll me whyyy,” I sang.

She smiled. We danced.

Her friend noticed us dancing. He came over, hooked his arm around her shoulder, and took her away from me.

“Come on, dude, what are you doing?” I asked.

He didn’t respond. I decided to go look for my friends. I couldn’t find them, so I called Mike. He said that they were outside, and they would wait for me. I walked around the club to find my dancing partner so I could tell her that I was leaving.

I saw the guy drag her towards the exit.

“Hey, it was really cool meeting you. I’m going to leave, but let me give you a hug,” I said.

I went to give her a hug. The guy pushed me.

* * *

I almost fell to the ground, but I maintained balance.

“Hey, you fucking idiot. What the hell was that for?” I asked.

“You think you can take me?” he asked.

I took a swing at this guy’s nose causing my knuckles to bleed. My skin didn’t break, but rather I caught the blood streaming
down from his nose. I then tackled the mother fucker to the ground.

“Hey, you bitch. What? Did you think I didn’t have it in me?” I taunted.

I punched him in the face again and pinned him to the ground. Club security then speared me to the ground. Nearby police officers quickly followed with handcuffs around my wrists and behind my back.

“What are you guys doing?” I asked.

“You’re under arrest. You have the right to remain silent,” the police officer said.

“Man, it’s impossible to keep me quiet. Fuck that. That idiot pushed me for no reason. He pushed me because he needed to validate his manhood. He pushed me because the girl liked me,” I said.

“And you elevated the incident,” he said.

He took me near his horse and phoned a patrol car.

“Why are you riding a horse? That’s just ridiculous,” I said.

* * *

I almost fell to the ground, but I maintained balance.

“That’s not cool, man,” I said.

He looked at me.

"What? You got nothing to say, so you have to push me?" I asked.

"Maybe I'll push you again," he said.

"Okay, that's fine. I'll be calling her tomorrow and we'll have a good laugh at what a prick you are. Really? A muscle shirt? Doesn't that require muscles?" I said.

Club security saw the push and escorted him out.

“Do you have another ride or something?” I asked.

“Yeah, I actually came with them,” she said pointing to two guys, a girl, and another girl dancing with a guy.

“Hey, that’s my friend David dancing with your friend,” I said.

“That’s cool,” she said.

“Well, hey, I’m going to get going, so I hope you have a good night,” I said.

“Yeah, definitely. Call me sometime,” she said.

I walked out of the club and met up with my friends.

“Can you believe what just happened? I totally got pushed from some jealous dude,” I said.

“Did you push back?” Cyrus asked.

“No, you know. I was thinking. That guy was so insecure about himself that he had to push me to validate his manhood. I didn’t need validation. I got the girl,” I said.

David walked out of the club and approached us.

“Hey, we’re the big winners tonight,” I said.

* * *

I almost fell to the ground, but I maintained balance.

I was so upset. I just looked at him. I walked outside and found Cyrus.

"Dude, this guy in the club totally pushed me," I said.

"What guy?" he asked.

"See that girl?" I asked.

"Umm, I think so," he said.

"The guy next to her. He pushed me. God I just want to go over there and kick his ass. Do you got my back?" I asked.

I asked that question hoping that Cyrus would talk me out of it.

"Dude, what are you going to do now?" he asked.

"Well, umm, fuck it, I'm going over there whether you got my back or not," I said.

"Alright, I got your back," Cyrus said.

I looked at him. "There's probably no point now."

* * *

The final scenario rang true. I did nothing. I did not stand up for myself. I let the guy push me. While I was not a macho guy that fought for a silly reason, I did not verbally confront him. I did not get the girl. Sure, we danced and made-out, and I got her phone number. He walked out with the girl, but he did not get the girl. I can not completely confirm that because I never called her. Why would I? I was a bitch. I let a guy push me around. I let a guy that she did not like drag her by the arm. I did not stick up for myself or for her. I was ashamed. He won because I lost.